The Friday Challenge

Ruminations of an Old Goat

2012-01-30T07:00:00.000-06:00

The Goat is running behind and doesn't have a column ready for Monday morning. One will be up Tuesday morning at the latest.

The New Web Thingy...

2012-01-29T16:44:00.000-06:00

Lo and behold, I finally have a web thingy! The place is still sort of a work in progress, but my very own writerly website is now online.

Some stuff will more appropriately fit here, and some will inherently belong there, so there shouldn't be too much overlap between the two... aside from the occasional PSA about death ray-wielding zombie alligators. Because, you know, restricting something like that to just one site would simply be wrong.

VintageSeason.com

Open Mic Saturday

2012-01-28T07:00:00.000-06:00

Good morning all, and welcome to Open Mic Saturday. This is the place to share your news and perhaps do a little bragging. If you're writing a novel: how much progress did you make this week? If you're writing short stories: did you finish anything or submit anything this week? If you've sold or published anything recently, when is it coming out and where can we find it? In short, as a writer, what kind of progress did you make this week?

Or what else is on your mind, that you feel like sharing with the group here?

The Friday Challenge — 1/27/2011

2012-01-27T10:00:00.001-06:00

This week in The Friday Challenge:

Henry Vogel begins the promised future column(s), and swings a bit of synergy. • Join the discussion...

Kersley Fitzgerald gets all moony about the future. • Join the discussion...

Allan Davis wins our Catastrophes-R-Us challenge, by pointing out a few bugs in the program. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as Chocolate Cake Day arrives just when we've shed those unwanted holiday pounds, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.

It's something in the water...

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:

An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and a winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 29 January 2012.

Conan, Icehawk, and Vidad Walk Into a Bar

And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, courtesy of Allan Davis:

Okay, FC’ers, time to let it all hang out. Your assignment, should you choose to accept it, is to pick three characters who don’t generally get the chance to hang out together, put them together, and watch for the sparks to fly. They can be mythological, fictional, historical, hysterical, you name it, anything goes.

“I would like to report a stolen...potion,” Snape said, keeping his voice level and calm despite the rage he was feeling at having his most valuable potion disappear out of his home. The muggle behind the desk taking his statement looked like an obvious idiot.

“A stolen potion?” Drebin raised his eyebrows. “Surely you can’t be serious?”

“He’s not serious,” said a voice from across the room, and Snape barely kept the words Aveda Kedavra from his lips. “I’m Sirius. Sirius Black. Nice to meet you.”

“Ignore him,” Snape said to the policeman, in a threatening voice barely above a whisper. “And if you call me Shirley again, I will turn you into a blast-ended skrewt.”

Go for the laughs if you must, but depending on the characters, there can be serious moments, too. Just imagine Bruce Wayne and Bruce Banner attending anger management classes run by Bruce Lee.

You can always reach for the teen angst, too. Picture the scene when Edward Cullen discovers he’s the forgotten love child of Dazzler and Blade (or was that Tinkerbell and Dracula?).

Bonus points: Change characters, keep the actor!

“Welcome to Celebrity Deathmatch!” The announcer waited for the fireworks and cheering to subside a bit. “Today’s match is a no-holds barred battle to the death between Severus Snape and Hans Gruber.”

“Our special guest referee is no stranger to death matches. I’d like to welcome The Honorable Judge Turpin!”

There was the sound of liquid being splashed, and swallowing. “I will be your ring announcer today. I am Metatron, your voice from on high.” He covered up the microphone. “...here serving up my penance for having the nerve to laugh at His platypus design.”

“At least you’ve got a job,” said the color commentator.

“Ah, yes, I’d nearly forgot,” said Metatron. “Here on color commentary, I would like everyone to welcome Alexander Dane, from a long forgotten hit television show that no one seems to remember anymore.”

“Watch it,” Dane said, before returning to his depressed muttering. “I was an actor once. I did Lear. I had three curtain calls. Now I’m reduced to babbling nonsensically about death duels between clay warriors.”

“At least you’re...functional,” Metatron said, sneaking another swig from the bottle of tequila he had hidden under the table. From the tone of his voice, most of the bottle was already gone. “Ken, but with wings,” he said.

“Oh, look, the fight’s starting,” Dane added, with zero enthusiasm.

“Gruber whips out a machine gun. This could be a really short match—no, Snape waved his wand, and now he has the machine gun!”

Dane scoffed. “I wonder how well he could fight with that wand shoved up his—”

“It looks like Severus never learned how to handle a gun! Gruber rolls for cover. Bullets everywhere!” Metatron paused for another sip.

“There go the cheap seats,” Dane added. “No big loss there.”

So...let your hair down. Let the ideas run free (and the blood, too, if the story requires it).

Give those characters a voice. Let Scooby Doo, Dobby, and Gollum argue over who is the best computer-generated character. Watch the fun when He-Man tries to get a date with Penny. Imagine the deep philosophical discussions between Harpo Marx, Marcel Marceau, and Vin Diesel.

And above all...have fun!

Anyone can enter, with no restrictions.

Everyone is asked to vote, and to say a few words about what they liked, and why. Or to say a few words about what they disliked, as the case may be; by submitting an entry, you implicitly agree to accept criticism, because there will probably be some handed out, and no one is immune. When voting, please rank a work as either “0” (not so good), “1” (not as bad), “2” (could have been better) or “3” (pretty good stuff!). If you give either a “0” or “3” vote, feel free to argue in support of your reasoning.

Don't like the negativity? Feel free to think of the levels as “0” (Not bad for a first attempt), “1” (Right on!), “2” (Holy cow, I wanna buy this now...) or “3” (Sweet mother of God, how did you write something this awesome?!!). The point is to clearly differentiate, and rank according to your own preference.

For the purposes of this challenge, Allan Davis will be serving as Ye Olde High Marker, Voluntarily Walking th' Plank.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 3 February 2012. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 5 February 2012.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Critical Thinking

2012-01-26T06:00:00.003-06:00

"By the end of my second term, we will have the first permanent base on the moon and it will be American."

Once I picked myself up from the car floor where I'd fallen, laughing, I raised my hand and said aloud, "Pick me! I'll go!"

"We will have commercial near-Earth activities that include science, tourism and manufacturing, because it is in our interest to acquire so much experience in space that we clearly have a capacity that the Chinese and the Russians will never come anywhere close to matching."

Is he off his rocker? Channeling Kennedy? Serious?!

So here's my question. Without getting too far into politics, is it in the best interest of America to dedicate significant resources to the space industry? What exactly is in it for us besides Teflon and Velcro? And Tang? Is there a significant, intangible advantage? Or is it hubris?

The moon by 2020? The Creature will be starting college. Maj. Tom and I will need something to keep us busy. And it would be a crying shame to waste such a classic nickname.

Deadline Reminder

2012-01-26T06:00:00.002-06:00

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — It's something in the water... — was extended to 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 27 January 2012... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 6 AM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 29 January 2012.

Ruminations of an Old Goat

2012-01-23T07:00:00.005-06:00

Last week, I kicked off a series on storytelling by giving a general overview of the current state of storytelling in America. I wrapped up the column by mentioning that storytelling is a useful skill for writers to acquire, promising to delve into my reasoning in a future column. Welcome to the future column. Or maybe I should say columns, since this topic will take more than one.

I'm sure you all recognize that there is a connection between writing and storytelling. Both share the same goals; entertainment, education, and preservation. The first two goals are pretty obvious, but preservation sometimes surprises people. By "preservation," I mean the preservation of stories, allowing them to be passed on from generation to generation. Once again, that's a topic for a future column. So, returning to the original topic, how does storytelling benefit writers?

Perhaps the single greatest benefit writers will realize is immediate feedback. Writing, by its very nature, is a solitary activity. The image of the writer working late into the night, alone with his computer (or typewriter, or pen, or whatever), a single light illuminating his work, is practically a cliché in movies, on television, and even in stories. A writer only receives feedback if an editor chooses to provide it as part of a rejection letter, if the writer's spouse can be counted on for objective criticism, or if the writer joins a writing group and actively seeks out feedback from other writers.

Storytelling, by its very nature, is a social activity. A storyteller without an audience is not a storyteller. The audience is not just a passive mass of humanity, either. They bring their own energy and add it to the overall performance. I know that may sound like New Age mystical nonsense, but it's completely true. If you're not convinced, try telling your favorite joke out loud when you're alone. Even the funniest joke isn't that funny in this situation. Then tell it again to at least one friend who hasn't heard it before. Suddenly, the joke is funny again. It's the energy brought by the audience which makes all the difference.

The energy from the audience translates into immediate feedback for the storyteller. Since the storyteller has no manuscript to read from, he can make eye contact with everyone in his audience. Bored listeners are easy to spot. They'll be looking elsewhere, speaking with the person next to them, have their eyes closed, or have a fixed look of polite interest plastered on their face. None of that matters, though, because the eyes tell it all. A storyteller can tell when the audience is with him, interested in the story and wondering what will happen next. A storyteller can tell when he loses the audience, as well. Perhaps your opening is fine but the story wanders or gets too complicated in the middle, leaving the audience bored or confused. Or perhaps your opening and middle are great, but the ending is anticlimactic, leaving the audience unsatisfied with the story. All of that feedback is present for a storyteller to see and feel during the telling of the story. You don't have to wait weeks or months for an editor to respond, a relative or friend to find the time to read your story, or for the next writers' group meeting.

You'll know your funny lines are funny if the audience laughs. You'll know your tense bits are tense if the audience looks tense. You'll know your ending is a good one if the audience looks satisfied when you finish telling the story. This level of immediate feedback helps writers learn what works for them and what doesn't, not only in that particular story but with your writing in general. It also doesn't matter whether you're telling an original story of your own or telling a folk or fairy tale. The feedback from the audience will tell you which parts of the story are working and which parts are not. As you might guess, what succeeds for one storyteller may not succeed for another storyteller. Just like some writers are very good at action scenes and other writers are very good at dialogue. You'll not only learn what works in stories, you'll learn what works best in your stories. You'll also learn what parts of your writing need the most work.

This is invaluable information for writers (and storytellers). You can learn it elsewhere, but I have yet to find more brutally honest, pinpoint specific feedback than what I receive from an audience I'm performing for.

Next time, I'll touch on some other benefits writers can gain from storytelling. Meanwhile, any questions?

And the winner is...

2012-01-22T21:05:00.001-06:00

“Get sick, get well, hang around an ink well, ring a bell, hard to tell if anything is goin' to sell. It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine...”

If any of you are able to take a second look at your own work, and see ways in which to improve a concept so that it can be more successfully developed, the effort will be worthwhile.

Those of you who vote are allowed to assign a range of “0” to “3” points, per entry. Since challengers may not vote for their own stories, a bonus of 2 points is given to a participant's highest-ranked work, if that participant also takes the time to numerically vote on the other entries.

Official judges receive a 30 point allocation, to assign as they see fit. The only restriction is that at most, only half of those points may be given to any single entry (unless there is only one entry, in which case the silly restriction is lifted!), and there is no requirement for a judge to use the entire 30 point allocation.

M is about to put on the “Editor Hat.” It's sort of like the “Sorting Hat” they use at Hogwarts (“Wait a minute. Weren't those the lyrics to ‘We Didn't Start the Fire’?”), but a little less sarcastic.

Catastrophes-R-Us

“It's not all that bad... Really” by Watkinson

M: Oh, Watkinson, Watkinson, Watkinson... if you'd played up the Terry Pratchett-esque characterization of Death, or gone for the notion that the end of the world comes for each individual when that individual ends, I might have given this the edge! As it is, your piece reads as far too optimistic to be apocalyptic.

Interesting form of optimism, though. I dig the notion that even if we wipe ourselves out, we won't have truly “ended” the world.

Arisia: 2.4
M: 3
Total: 5.4

“Neither Bang Nor Whimper” by Allan Davis

M: You didn't believe me about the Mayans running out of room on their calendar, did you? Well, if you had to go there, at least you threw me an interesting narrative... and you sort of tied it in with that other great pyramid-building civilization, since your bugs reminded me of another fictionalized incarnation of magical, flesh-eating scarabs. The ending was slightly unexpected, which was a plus.

In a way, it feels like this one was assembled from vignettes of a longer story you planned to write, but didn't quite have time to flesh out. Given that you only have eleven months until the Mayan angle will be of questionable interest, I'm not sure I'd give this one any further effort.

Arisia: 2.4
M: 4
Total:

Wrap-up...

With only a single point separating them, surely the victor can take pride in such a close contest?

1st Place: 6.4 points — “Neither Bang Nor Whimper” by Allan Davis

Congratulations, Allan Davis! As winner, you are hereby invited to propose next week's challenge, scheduled to be announced the morning of Friday, 27 January 2012.

Afterword...

It was actually sort of difficult to select this week's winner, because although clear that both entries had received a fair investment of time and typing, neither quite fit my expectations. But then, those were my expectations, and if the world ever ends, I doubt if I'll be the one to see it coming. Well done, both of you!

Open Mic Saturday

2012-01-21T07:00:00.000-06:00

The Friday Challenge — 1/20/2011

2012-01-20T09:15:00.001-06:00

This week in The Friday Challenge:

Henry Vogel kicks off a new series, on the subject he knows best. Uh, no... not that subject! The other subject he knows best. • Join the discussion...

Daniel Eness opens a discussion on the all-time greatest use of a false document, in any context, and no one shares the story of their first kegger. • Join the discussion...

Kersley Fitzgerald buys a story that hit a little too close to home. • Join the discussion...

M drops the ball (lolwut? srsly? oopers...) and forgets to declare a winner in our Catastrophes-R-Us challenge, or even post a reminder for the It's something in the water... challenge! On the bright side, he sent out three submissions this week. • No discussion, unless you want to do it here...

All this and more, as Opus, Chilly Willy, and Tux get their due with Penguin Awareness Day, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.

Catastrophes-R-Us

Since this one has not yet been judged, and to get things back on track, here is a reminder of the entries under consideration for our previous challenge:

If you haven't voted in that one yet, you have until Sunday afternoon to give feedback.

It's something in the water...

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:

“Autonomick” by Jack Calverley

But since M did not remember to post a Deadline Reminder yesterday, we'll extend this one a week. After all, a few of you were considering entries, and just ran out of time to write them down. Right?

Here is a reminder of the parameters for our current Friday Challenge, courtesy of Tyler Tork:

Especially around election season, which it seems nowadays is nearly all the time, I get to thinking that it would be great if people weren't so... or if they just had a little more...

If I could just tweak humanity a little, put some drug in the reservoir, I don't know what, I'm convinced things could be much better.

But of course, systems are complicated, and as everyone in Congress repeatedly fails to learn, changing the rules can have unintended results. People are perverse. (Oh. Perhaps we could fix that!)

Write a story, or a news piece, or something, to illustrate how you might change people if you could reach inside their brains, or bodies if you prefer, and adjust one setting. Would you make them smarter? (And about what, exactly? Intelligence isn't one thing.) Stronger? Less whiny? Happier? Consider the likely side effects of your change. Make us see why it might work out that way.

You may post your entries as comments below, post on your personal blog and give a link below, or add to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group in our current directory.

Anyone can enter, except for Tyler Tork. You may enter as many times as you wish, but each entry must be independent of the others, and you may not build on anyone else's work.

Everyone is asked to vote, and to say a few words about what they liked, and why. Or to say a few words about what they disliked, as the case may be; by submitting an entry, you implicitly agree to accept criticism, because there will probably be some handed out, and no one is immune. When voting, please rank a work as either “0” (not so good), “1” (not as bad), “2” (could have been better) or “3” (pretty good stuff!). If you give either a “0” or “3” vote, feel free to argue in support of your reasoning.

Don't like the negativity? Feel free to think of the levels as “0” (Not bad for a first attempt), “1” (Right on!), “2” (Holy cow, I wanna buy this now...) or “3” (Sweet mother of God, how did you write something this awesome?!!). The point is to clearly differentiate, and rank according to your own preference.

For the purposes of this challenge, Tyler Tork will be serving as Ye Olde High Marker, Voluntarily Walking th' Plank.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of ~~Friday, 20 January 2012~~ Friday, 27 January 2012. A winner will be declared by the evening of ~~Sunday, 22 January 2012~~ Sunday, 29 January 2012.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Critical Thinking

2012-01-19T07:56:00.004-06:00

Inconsequential things

I was perusing the children's section of the ol' B&N the other day, waiting for the Creature to realize he is 10 and therefore legally allowed to read novels with fewer than one picture per page, when a book caught my eye--Wildwood. I think I noticed it because the illustration looks a bit like Edward Gorey. So I opened the cover and read:

Prue McKeel’s life is ordinary. At least until her baby brother is abducted by a murder of crows. And then things get really weird.

Kidnapped by crows is good.

Then I read:

You see, on every map of Portland, Oregon, there is a big splotch of green on the edge of the city labeled “I.W.” This stands for “Impassable Wilderness.” No one’s ever gone in—or at least returned to tell of it...

Serious? Portland? Impassable Wilderness? That could only mean Forest Park, across the river from where I grew up!

So I flipped to the map section. There it all is--Forest Park, the Arboretum (all renamed). But also the railroad bridge? Wait, is that St. Johns? Nobody knows St. Johns. Look more closely.

The protagonist's house is literally four blocks from my childhood home. The library she frequents is my library. The "Park" is the playground of my grade school.

So I did what I had to do. I went home and bought it on my Kindle.

Writing isn't the greatest, but who cares?! It's a very singular experience to read a book and know exactly where everything is. Has that every happened to you?

Dear Stupefying Stories contributors,

If I have to read one more story with the plot "nerd meets beautiful woman; nerd and woman make passionate love; woman turns into a monster that kills/enslaves/sucks the life force out of man," it had darn well be the most brilliantly written story every written. There are other venues for such stories. But I think you have to change the first line to, "I never thought something like this would happen to me..."

Sincerely,
Your Slushie

In other news, SyFy channel has a new show out. It's called Lost Girl. It's about a woman who discovers she's Fae. Then she discovers she's a Succubus. Explains why every time she has an "encounter," the guy winds up dead. Really? Really?

Ugh.

How cool is that?

Ultimate Geek Fu

2012-01-18T07:00:00.001-06:00

“I would never lie. I willfully participate in a campaign of misinformation.” - Fox Mulder

Fiction is at heart, fake.*

One of the more fascinating (when done well) or tedious (when done poorly) fakeries of fiction is the "false document."

Stephen King's Carrie was punctuated with newspaper clippings of the infamous prom tragedy, at once making the psychic rampage more realistic for the reader while also leaving much of the mechanics to the imagination.

The Watchmen has a fictional comic book as a key prop (and sub-plot) within its "real" comic pages.

World War Z consists of a lot of realistic interviews of survivors/combatants/etc. of the global zombie outbreak.

The Name of the Rose relies on the existence of a no-longer-in-existence work of Aristotle's to serve not only as the core Macguffin, but also as thematic architecture for the "real" book's plot.

It isn't just books that rely on false documents. Back in the bad old days of brilliant text adventures, companies like InfoGames often packaged their floppy disks with trinkets that, in some cases were critical or useful to gameplay (like maps). The best one to my recollection was The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which came with printed orders for the demolition of Arthur Dent's house and, importantly, "no tea."

Movies have used false documents a lot, some to the point of being false documents from stem to stern: Blair Witch, Cloverfield, Paranormal Activity. I happen to prefer the false documents to have a little more artistic editing: like the newsreel footage in Forrest Gump or the board game advertisement in RoboCop.

Hoaxes, conspiracies and bizarre amusements have all factored into the creation of other false documents. I still don't completely understand what, exactly, motivated the creator of the Codex Seraphinianus to create that monstrosity, but I'm sure glad he did.

So - you're a geek, and certainly must have a modicum of fu in this category.

Real quick:

What is the all-time greatest use of a false document in any context: book, screen, stage, hoax, conspiracy or otherwise?

Let the arguments begin!

*This is a lie - er - a part of a campaign of misinformation. Fiction is at heart, true. It just packages its heart in fakery so that you are tricked into unwrapping it.

Ruminations of an Old Goat

2012-01-16T07:00:00.006-06:00

In last week's column, I asked for topic suggestions for this column. The two suggestions which will eventually end up being covered in the column involve ideas inspired by the Stupefying Stories slush pile and the ancient art of storytelling. (For those who haven't been hanging around the Friday Challenge for a long time, I've been a professional storyteller for the last six years.)

While I have some ideas for slush-based columns, I'm going to start with a series on storytelling. I don't know how long the series but have a fairly good idea of what we'll end up covering by the time it's over. I hope to have columns inspired by your comments and questions concerning these columns, so please don't be shy about posting comments.

I believe storytelling is the oldest art form known to mankind. There are jobs which are probably older; hunter and gatherer, certainly, and definitely parent if you consider parenting to be a job. (God knows it's a lot of work!) Storytelling came after those but before pretty much everything else mankind has done on this planet. In fact, I expect the art of storytelling started shortly after the first hunt ended, when one of our most ancient ancestors told the other hunters about the "big one" that he almost got.

In ancient times, the storyteller was the keeper of his peoples' history, their accumulated knowledge and wisdom, and the teachings which were passed on to each new generation. That changed somewhat when written language was developed, but storytellers -- or poets and bards, if you prefer -- remained important as long as most people remained illiterate. Many of the best known folk and fairy tales originally served as cautionary tales, meant to teach the children of the day the rules of survival. Little Red Riding Hood, for example, taught young girls to beware of wolves, meaning men who would take sexual advantage of girls given the chance. Other tales were mostly for entertainment, though there was almost always some nugget of wisdom to be found within those stories.

The oral tradition of storytelling began to fall by the wayside as the various folk and fairy tales were recorded and published in books. In the 19th century, traveling shows began to replace storytelling as a primary source of entertainment. The 20th century, with radio, movies, television, and eventually video and computer games, should have been the death knell for storytelling as an art form. That didn't happen, though it may have been a close run thing. Storytelling thrived in rural areas, places where electricity was late to arrive, where radio and television signals were faint, and where cable television never caught on due to the cost of running cables. By the time satellite television made it possible for television signals to reach just about everywhere, storytelling had begun a resurgence.

Libraries discovered that storytelling helped build an interest in reading. Schools discovered that students learned better through stories than through traditional lectures (not that this little tidbit has done much to change how school is taught). Libraries and schools host storytelling festivals, bringing storytellers in from the area to tell stories and help promote both storytelling and reading. On an October weekend in 1973, the first National Storytelling Festival was held in Jonesborough, TN, drawing no more than 60 people (including the storytellers). Since then, the festival has grown into a four day event with attendance topping 30,000.

Storytelling is making a comeback because it is a thoroughly people-oriented art form. At least, that's my opinion. More and more, popular entertainment has allowed us to become isolated from each other. Radio and television have always come into our homes. Since the advent of the VCR, movies have also begun coming into the home. With MP3 players, portable video, tablet computers, and smart phones, entertainment is more individualized than ever. It's entirely possible for a family to sit in the same room, all be tuned into some form of entertainment, yet each family member is being entertained by something different than the others.

Storytelling is different. Everyone in the audience hears the same story, but they can still personalize it. They use their imagination to create the scene and the characters, each picturing the story in their own way. Even familiar stories will vary from storyteller to storyteller (and usually from telling to telling by the storyteller), which keeps the stories fresh for the audience.

I know someone out there is thinking, "Yeah, storytelling is like reading a book out loud to an audience, except the reader will get the story exactly right every time." Every storyteller has had at least one conversation with someone who thinks professional storytellers are getting paid to read books aloud or who doesn't think there is really any difference between a reader and a teller. It's a common misconception, made worse because the big difference between reading and telling seems to be very minor.

The difference is eye contact. When you're reading a book aloud, it's hard to make eye contact with your audience. Sure, you can glance up briefly and catch eye of someone, but you've got to return to the book quickly or risk losing your place and upsetting the flow of the story. In other words, the book is a barrier between the reader and the audience. The storyteller has no book and, therefore, no barrier. The storyteller can make eye contact with everyone in the audience or, in the case of a very large audience, with many people in the audience. The contact, however brief, forges a connection between the storyteller and each member of the audience. For one moment, each person feels as if the storyteller is telling the story directly to them.

It's that brief connection between people that makes storytelling so much more than simply reading aloud. And it's that connection which makes storytelling a useful skill for writers to learn. But that's a topic for a future column.

Open Mic Saturday

2012-01-14T07:00:00.000-06:00

The Friday Challenge — 1/13/2011

2012-01-13T09:00:00.002-06:00

This week in The Friday Challenge:

Bruce Bethke uses the “Slushpile Survival Guide” to ask a practical question of our contributors... and a surprising number select option “C.” • Join the discussion...

Henry Vogel ~~demonstrates himself to be a glutton for punishment~~ throws open the floodgates and asks for suggestions. • Join the discussion...

Allan Davis performs a post-mortem, and realizes the patient ain't dead yet (in fact, it's feeling much better!). • Join the discussion...

Kersley Fitzgerald seeks ways the literary community could assist Mom & Pop. • Join the discussion...

Tor.com opens the nominations for their new award, and the current standings are interesting, although some of us are unsure whether “interesting” is good or bad. • Join the discussion...

Tyler Tork wins our “And now, for the next century and a half...” AND Higglety Pigglety Pop! challenges, by overcoming unbelievable odds. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as animals everywhere prepare for the indignity of Dress Up Your Pet Day, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.

Catastrophes-R-Us

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:

An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and a winner will be declared by the evening of Monday, 9 January 2012. (Monday instead of Sunday, since I'll be participating in illogiCon panels all weekend...)

It's something in the water...

And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, courtesy of Tyler Tork:

Especially around election season, which it seems nowadays is nearly all the time, I get to thinking that it would be great if people weren't so... or if they just had a little more...

If I could just tweak humanity a little, put some drug in the reservoir, I don't know what, I'm convinced things could be much better.

But of course, systems are complicated, and as everyone in Congress repeatedly fails to learn, changing the rules can have unintended results. People are perverse. (Oh. Perhaps we could fix that!)

Write a story, or a news piece, or something, to illustrate how you might change people if you could reach inside their brains, or bodies if you prefer, and adjust one setting. Would you make them smarter? (And about what, exactly? Intelligence isn't one thing.) Stronger? Less whiny? Happier? Consider the likely side effects of your change. Make us see why it might work out that way.

Anyone can enter, except for Tyler Tork. You may enter as many times as you wish, but each entry must be independent of the others, and you may not build on anyone else's work.

Everyone is asked to vote, and to say a few words about what they liked, and why. Or to say a few words about what they disliked, as the case may be; by submitting an entry, you implicitly agree to accept criticism, because there will probably be some handed out, and no one is immune. When voting, please rank a work as either “0” (not so good), “1” (not as bad), “2” (could have been better) or “3” (pretty good stuff!). If you give either a “0” or “3” vote, feel free to argue in support of your reasoning.

Don't like the negativity? Feel free to think of the levels as “0” (Not bad for a first attempt), “1” (Right on!), “2” (Holy cow, I wanna buy this now...) or “3” (Sweet mother of God, how did you write something this awesome?!!). The point is to clearly differentiate, and rank according to your own preference.

For the purposes of this challenge, Tyler Tork will be serving as Ye Olde High Marker, Voluntarily Walking th' Plank.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 20 January 2012. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 22 January 2012.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Deadline Reminder

2012-01-12T11:00:00.000-06:00

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — Catastrophes-R-Us — is 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 13 January 2012... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 6 AM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Monday, 9 January 2012. (Monday instead of Sunday, since I'll be participating in illogiCon panels all weekend...)

Critical Thinking

2012-01-12T06:00:00.003-06:00

So, here's the deal.

A friend of mine (IRL--yes, I do too have...some. Maybe a couple.) is opening an independent bookstore. She's said that she will welcome author readings and signings.

Do you see where this is going?

How do we, as authors of ebooks, support our local, indy bookstore? I guess Google has a deal set up where bookstores can sell ebooks through their store, but it doesn't support Kindle. I just don't think it's fair to stand up in the bookstore, give a reading, and then say, "Use the bookstore's wifi to download my book from Amazon!"

So I'm trying to think of something else. Some token the reader could buy from the bookstore to show their support. Something super cheap to make, so it would only cost $1 or so, retail.

Of course, my first scheme was to make an ereader cover that has a clear pouch in front. The reader could buy a printed copy of the ebook cover and slip it in the pocket. Buy a new cover for every ebook.

Yeah, that starts getting complicated around the seventh word.

There's always bookmarks, but do people devoted to their ereaders use bookmarks? Stickers would appeal to a narrow fan-base. And some kind of ereader-cover flare would probably not interest people who like to keep their nice things looking nice; or men.

Chapbooks! What do you think of chapbooks? Every author could make up a cheap brochure of just their story. Adoring fans could buy it for a buck, authors would have something to autograph, and it would still directly plug SS. (Who prints it? Who formats it? Do authors use the color illio or come up with their own?)

Of course, I could just make up a bunch of Stupefying Stories t-shirts and go kinda macro--buy one shirt instead of a doodad for each individual edition. But I thought $1 doodads wouldn't seem as financially intimidating.

In addition, I may be going to my first con later this month. It will be small and hopefully not intimidating. For those more experienced, is it bad form to pass out cards or stickers (or chapbooks) publicizing our fine publication? Again, how do you publicize something made of 1s and 0s?

Discuss! If you were at a reading for an ebook, what kind of token would you be willing to buy from the bookstore that would represent the ebook and support the store? Should it be sign-able? Edible? Made with alien technology? Breathing? I'd love to hear your ideas.

(Answers given by Vidad do not reflect the views of The Friday Challenge, Stupefying Stories, or Rampant Loon Media. But we still love him.)

Plot offer: The movie Serenity showed the effects of trying to drug the human race into becoming a peaceful society. Could the reality be far behind?

Nominations Open: Tor.com 2011 Readers' Choice Awards

2012-01-11T14:22:00.001-06:00

As of this morning, nominations are being taken for the Tor.com 2011 Readers' Choice Awards.

Why should you vote? This “award” is completely determined by readers' write-in recommendations. From Tor.com:

What were the best science fiction/fantasy stories you read this past year? Or the best comics? Or the best covers?

Forget about “the best,” really, what new releases in 2011 did you enjoy the most?

For more information, and to cast your own vote(s), go here.

Full Disclosure: I am thoroughly chuffed that a couple of readers already suggested "Absinthe Fish" by M. David Blake (Bull Spec #5)... but regardless of how you felt about that one, if you read anything at all that was first published in 2011, nominating suitable candidates would be a great way to show support for the authors and artists you most enjoyed.

World Enough, and Time

2012-01-10T18:26:00.001-06:00

End of the Year/Beginning of the Year Edition

It’s that time of year again. Yes, it’s time to look back over 2011, counting blessings, learning lessons, and getting ready to start anew.

Nano Post-Mortem

It’s a personal November tradition that I try my hand at Nano. I’ve entered for seven years running now. It’s also a December tradition that I post a “Nano follow-up” of some kind, either to my blog or here on the Friday Challenge.

Unfortunately, it’s also a personal tradition to burn out whole banks of brain circuits trying to complete my Nano novel, and leaving myself without enough spare IQ points to write a grocery list, let alone articles and blog posts. So, my Nano post-mortem is a bit late.

But, I can announce that I have broken with one very solid personal tradition--the annual Nano failure. I have finally--on the seventh try--managed to crank out fifty thousand words of novel in the month of November.

Word of advice: If you want more time to work on your Nano novel, land a temp contract doing phone tech support on a quiet overnight shift.

Oh, and one more piece of advice. Double-check your word count, because the Nano word counter doesn’t count the same way the Google Docs word counter does. It’s very surprising to reach 50,073 words (per Google Docs), only to upload your novel into the Nano website and discover you’ve really only written 49,436...with forty minutes left before the deadline.

I have a very strong suspicion that those last seven hundred words or so will be cut from the final draft. In fact, I’m pretty sure those last seven hundred words don’t make any sense at all.

Now, I still need to finish the novel. I’m only about halfway through the story.

Quill

I had a girlfriend once who convinced me to join a writer’s group. I had not written anything in over a decade, though she had read some of my really old stuff, and wanted me to start writing again. When that writer’s group announced their annual Halloween short story contest, she pushed me to write something for it. I wrote two stories.

The second one was called Screwy Lewis and the Rabid Ferocious Undead Overstuffed Poodle. You’ll have to wait for Five for Frightening to come out to read that one.

The first one, though, was called Quill, and it won the contest.

Thanks to Bruce, and the whole staff at Stupefying Stories, Quill has a home. The story I wrote solely because my girlfriend asked me to write again for the first time in over a dozen years has been published by someone, and I wanted to take the time to send out a sincere and honest “Thank you!!!” to the Stupefying crew.

Oh...and that girlfriend...? I married her.

Challenges

Which leads to...

...what are your goals and challenges for the year...?

That former-girlfriend-now-wife has challenged me to hit some publishing milestones this year. Top of the list is Five for Frightening, which has been “nearly done” for some months now. After that, I have a humor compendium lined up called “Nickel at a Time” just waiting for some humorous illustrations before it’s ready to go live. After that, I’m looking at a sci-fi collection, and I think I’ve got enough horror stories for a second set there, too.

I want to quit missing Friday Challenges because I’m too busy to write, and I want to see a dozen of my short stories published this year...which of course means I need to actually submit them--and submit them to other places besides the Stupefying Stories crew (no offense intended; you guys already get lots of stories, no sense my piling more on you!).

All of which ties to one key factor--and one which Bruce has hammered home on more than one occasion--”Go Thou And WRITE!”

I’ve grumbled about not having enough time to write. I’ve complained that “real life” interferes with my writing goals. Heck, I started writing this column to work out these issues inside my head, and entertain (or annoy?) the rest of you with my meaningless meandering nonsense while I did so.

But, a long time ago, I came to the conclusion that “if you could write fifty thousand words in a month, you can do pretty much anything.”

I can write fifty thousand words in one month.

Not only that...I *DID* write fifty thousand words in a month.

So...what else can I do...? And what else are all of you going to do...?

-=ad=-

The Slushpile Survival Guide

2012-01-10T11:59:00.140-06:00

A question about publication philosophy has come up in a behind-the-scenes discussion, and rather than hypothesize further, I've decided to present the question to you. When I launched STUPEFYING STORIES, I specified some initial directives:

1. We would always treat authors as we ourselves would want to be treated.

2. We would be a pays-on-publication market, at least for the first two years.

3. We would be very relaxed about "first rights" considerations and simultaneous submissions, based on the assumption that our turnaround time would render those points moot.

4. [CLASSIFIED] We would never adopt the usual "pays on publication" market practice of accepting far more material than we could ever realistically hope to publish in a reasonable amount of time.

I'm particularly sensitive to Directive #4, as early in my career I was badly burned by a publisher who I later learned made a practice of sending out acceptance letters and contracts by the bale, just so that he'd have plenty of material to cherry-pick from when he assembled his anthologies. Some of my early stories were tied up for years because of this practice, and ultimately published only when I finally got the rights back and submitted them elsewhere.

As we dig out from under the the massive storydrifts left by the Great Submissions Blizzard of December 2011, though, it's becoming apparent that a lot of other writers have had similar experiences. They are nervous about committing to having their stories published by us, especially when we're looking at a publication and payment date that might be months off. We believe that we are different, but it's going to take time for us to establish a reputation as being better than the usual pays-on-publication market.

Ergo, it has been proposed that we switch to payment-on-acceptance.

IF we were to make this change, it would not be simple. For one thing, we'd have to switch to requiring a lock on exclusive worldwide English-language First Rights, as we have zero interest in buying a story only to see it published somewhere else before we can get around to publishing it.

Secondly, it would slow down our already slightly overloaded submissions and acceptance process even further, as a whole lot more deliberation would have to go into each acceptance. We'd have to start pre-planning and budgeting each issue months out, instead of merely weeks out, which would deprive us of a lot of the flexibility that we value.

So here's the question for you. As an author, which would you rather deal with? A publisher who:

1. Pays on publication, but responds quickly and is relatively relaxed about contract rights, or one who

2. Pays on acceptance, but responds ponderously and has a very restrictive contract?

To make this easier, I've put a survey widget in the upper right-hand corner. The survey will run through the end of January.

Thanks for thinking about this,
~brb

And the winner is (Special “Catch-Up with 2011” Edition!)...

2012-01-09T15:11:00.002-06:00

Happy New Year! (What? Why are we still celebrating? Well... after this post, we'll be caught up with the old year. That's a reason to celebrate.)

If any of you are able to take a second look at your own work, and see ways in which to improve a concept so that it can be more successfully developed, the effort will be worthwhile.

Those of you who vote are allowed to assign a range of “0” to “3” points, per entry. Since challengers may not vote for their own stories, a bonus of 2 points is given to a participant's highest-ranked work, if that participant also takes the time to numerically vote on the other entries.

Official judges receive a 30 point allocation, to assign as they see fit. The only restriction is that at most, only half of those points may be given to any single entry (unless there is only one entry, in which case the silly restriction is lifted!), and there is no requirement for a judge to use the entire 30 point allocation.

M is about to put on the “Editor Hat.” It's sort of like the “Sorting Hat” they use at Hogwarts (“Two challenges at once? You'll give me a split personality!”), but a little less sarcastic.

“And now, for the next century and a half...”

“Solstice” by Tyler Tork

M: This proposal reads like an odd cross between Steven Soderbergh's treatment of Stanisław Lem's Solaris, and Event Horizon. A bigger surprise was that my initial reaction was not to associate those two titles, but to double-check the details of Isaac Asimov's 1989 novel, Nemesis! (Even though your proposal doesn't bear any real similarity to the novel, my mnemenic association was strong enough that the use of that name overrode other correlations.)

Those associations aren't necessarily bad; Event Horizon is one of my favorite SF/H films, and I enjoyed Solaris, despite what Soderbergh did to it. You might want to alter the name of your “ancient enemy” and retitle your work, though.

In terms of the actual treatment, your first three paragraphs are good for maybe ten to fifteen minutes of film, at most. That final section has to carry the weight of another hour and three-quarters!

As for meeting the challenge, SF and H are clearly evident. I'm struggling to extrapolate F from what you've written. I'm willing to allow "the one who failed" to be your lovable character, assuming his anguish is believable and the presumed sacrifice genuinely heart-wrenching.

Bonus points for anyone who can point out which episode(s) of Doctor Who would provide the closest parallel.

Arisia: + / M_Nicole_Cunningham: 2 / Tyler Tork: voted! / xdpaul: 2 (with a request for the full treatment)
M: 9
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 15+

“The Christmas War” by xdpaul

M: For some reason, this one put me in mind of Miracle on 34th Street... but with magical time travel (for which I'll acknowledge both SF and F). I'm not quite willing to give you H, because although there is a promise of violence, the perspective strikes me as more Dogma-versus-The Santa Clause, implying a level of serious/artistic intent somewhere between the two.

Who is the lovable character? At this point I'm rooting for one of the drunken revelers, begging for a can of beer.

Arisia: + / M_Nicole_Cunningham: 1 / Tyler Tork: 1.5 / xdpaul: voted!
M: 6
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 10.5+

Higglety Pigglety Pop!

“Monsters” by Tom

M: Your premise lost me, from the very first line, when you proclaimed, “Sendak was gay.”

Yes, he was (by his own admission), but I fail to see what that has to do with his worth as a human being, or as an artist. David Gerrold is also gay (again, by his own admission), but he's done an admirable job with his own son (adopted, for the record, but again not a factor that makes any difference).

The one aspect of the challenge I am able to recognize in your entry is that it did, indeed, “pop.” Of course, that may have just been a blood vessel in my throbbing temple...

Tom: voted!
M: 0
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 2

~~“Pounce”~~ “Higgelty Pigglety – Zero G Edition” by Tyler Tork

M: First of all, I apologize for not properly recognizing the title of your entry when you first pointed out its existence. “Pounce” is clearly the moniker of your blog... and my only excuse is that, given the subject, it also seemed like an appropriate designation for the story.

Kittens in zero gravity? I'l give you both higglety and pigglety for the concept, alone. The mental imagery also “pops” adequately; I could easily imagine this as an interstitial snippet on The Firesign Theatre Radio Hour.

Tom: 2
M: 15
Total: 17

Wrap-up...

Never before have we seen such outright domination, such an overwhelming display of prowess, and such uncompromising literary excellence in two simultaneous challenges, while faced with such odds! For a combined total, we have:

1st Place: 32+ points — “Solstice” and “Higgelty Pigglety – Zero G Edition” by Tyler Tork

Congratulations, Tyler Tork! As winner, you are hereby invited to propose next week's challenge, scheduled to be announced the morning of Friday, 13 January 2012.

Afterword...

As a reminder, over the past few weeks we were engaged in a few smaller, lighter challenges, while the holidays swirled us about. Now that the holidays are safely past, we'll return you to your regularly scheduled Thunderdome.

Ruminations of an Old Goat

2012-01-09T07:00:00.003-06:00

On February 9, 2009, I posted my first column on the Friday Challenge site. It was part one in what would become a 12 part series on writing comic books. When I finished that series, Bruce kindly turned me loose to write about anything I felt like writing and this column was born.

Over the last three years (where has the time gone?), I've written about all sorts of things but have tried to keep the topic at least tangentially associated with writing. I've written about mining history for ideas, how many times you can pull a rabbit out of a hat in a story, the problems with dropping political opinions into the middle of non-political stories, which emotions are easiest to evoke, which emotions are hardest to evoke, and a whole bunch of other stuff. I've written the odd movie review, ranted a few times, and dropped the periodic emotional purge pieces.

The problem is, I've pretty much run out of ideas for columns. Well, I guess that's not entirely true. It's probably more fair to say I've run out of ideas for columns I think those of you who frequent the Friday Challenge will want to read.

Normally, this is where the author regretfully tells his readers that he is hanging up his keyboard and getting out of the column writing business. But normalcy is not something I'm accused of very often and I see no reason to embrace it now. Instead of giving up the column, I'm going to ask for suggestions from you. These can be suggestions for individual columns, a series of columns, or an entirely new column going off in some direction I haven't yet considered. I'm not promising I'll use any or all of the suggestions, but I will consider them. Even if I don't use a suggestion, it may lead me off in a new direction.

So, please use the comments and offer suggestions -- any suggestions. Help me keep writing the column by letting me know what you would like to read about in the column.

Go. Comment. The Old Goat is depending on you!

And the winner is...

2012-01-08T21:30:00.003-06:00

... still about fourteen hours away from being announced. My daughter's new bicycle arrived this afternoon... so numerous evening training-wheel circles around the cul-de-sac were followed by building a tent in her room (since she has been begging for a week to be allowed to sleep in one).

Open Mic Saturday

2012-01-07T07:00:00.000-06:00

The Friday Challenge — 1/6/2011

2012-01-06T09:45:00.001-06:00

This week in The Friday Challenge:

The first annual STUPEFYING STORIES year-end roundup is posted! (Seriously, we do plan on being able to post one again next year.) • Join the discussion...

Bruce Bethke preempts the usual Open Mic Saturday post with glad tidings, good wishes, and an abundance of hope. • Join the discussion...

Daniel Eness takes inspiration from Bruce Bethke's recent offering, and self-publishes a bit of apocalyptic science fiction. • Available via Smashwords...

John Scalzi slings the opening pitch of Silly Season, and several Friday Challengers come out swinging. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as the fifteen days of Christmahanukwanzakastivus come to a dignified close, with only a brief interruption from Fruitcake Toss Day, and the inmates debate the value of New Year's resolutions.

“And now, for the next century and a half...”

As a reminder, the following entries are under consideration for our previous challenge:

If you have not yet left feedback for this “Thunderdome: Christmas Edition” challenge, there's no time like the unopened present.

Higglety Pigglety Pop!

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:

An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and winners for both of our outstanding challenges will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 8 January 2012.

Catastrophes-R-Us

And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, once again inflicted by M:

Happy 2012! We've debated the worth of resolutions, but with only a few practical exceptions, we've been surprisingly reticent about sharing any of them this year.

Understandable. After all, half the world expects everything to end in only eleven and a half more months because the Mayans didn't have room to inscribe a longer calendar, and the other half hasn't quite accepted the fact that it didn't already end once or twice last year. What would be the point in actual resolutions, in the face of such fatalism?

Let me relieve your fears. I absolutely, unequivocally, and irrefutably promise the world will not end in 2012 (and I'm willing to take side bets on this)... but if it did, how would it happen?

You may post your entries as comments below, post on your personal blog and give a link below, or add to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group in our current directory.

Anyone can enter, with no restrictions, and you may enter as many times as you wish.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 13 January 2012. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 15 January 2012.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Deadline Reminder

2012-01-05T07:00:00.001-06:00

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — Higglety Pigglety Pop! — was extended to 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 6 January 2012... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 6 AM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 8 January 2012. A winner for the previous challenge (“And now, for the next century and a half...”) will be announced at the same time.

Stupefying Stories Year-End Roundup: 2011

2012-01-01T18:30:00.004-06:00

During 2011, STUPEFYING STORIES published twenty-seven stories and two poems. Which were your favorites, and why? Considering the contents of our first three issues, are there any contributors from whom you would particularly like to see a return appearance?

1.1 - October 2011

Kindle | Nook | iTunes | Kobo

“Ode” (poem) by Amy E. Helfritz
“The Window” by David Yener Goodman
“The Deported” by Vox Day
“Picky” by Anatoly Belilovsky
“The Cursed Wail” by Caileigh Marshall
“S&M Vampire Grrlz: The Movie” by Chris Bailey Pearce
“Quill” by Allan Davis, Jr.
“Revival” by Daniel Eness
“Dave’s Fright” (poem) by Kersley Fitzgerald
“Other Sister” by Rich Matrunick
“Return to Earth” by Ryan M. Jones

1.2 - November 2011

Kindle | Nook | iTunes | Kobo

“First Impressions” by Aaron Bradford Starr
“The Bamboo Garden” by Clare L. Deming
“Home Security” by Gary McKenzie
“Borrowed Feathers” by Sarah Frost
“If This Be Magic” by Anatoly Belilovsky
“The Oily” by E. A. Black
“In Fall, After the Harvest” by S. Travis Brown
“The King of Ash and Bones” by Rebecca Roland
“Watch This!” by Henry Vogel

1.3 - December 2011

Kindle | Nook | iTunes | Kobo

“Oogie Tucker’s Mission” by Gary Cuba
“Highly Unlikely” by Ron Lunde
“The Cowrie” by Tyler Tork
“Snow Blind” by Trent Zelazny
“Sennacherib” by David Landrum
“The Strange Machinery of Desire” by Justin A. Williams
“Secret Santa” by Kersley Fitzgerald
“Seven Minutes to Bangor” by Aaron Bradford Starr
“The Consolidated Brotherhood of Truly Bearded Santas” by Bill Ferris

Open Mic Saturday

2011-12-31T07:00:00.004-06:00

Update 9:00 CST, by brb: With all due respect to M, this being the last post of the year and all, it seems to call for something a bit more dramatic than the usual Saturday "Open Mic" call. It's a day that calls for reflection; for taking stock; for looking ahead. What are your thoughts about the year now ending? What are your hopes for the year to come?

Me, I'd like to take a moment now to shout a big "THANK YOU!" to M, Henry, Kersley, Vidad, and Arisia, for going far above and beyond the obligations of mere friendship, for keeping the Friday Challenge going while my attention has been focused elsewhere, and for midwifing the birth of STUPEFYING STORIES. It's been a challenging year—especially for Henry and his family—but with three books loose in the world and a fourth about to be released, I think you will agree, we've accomplished something pretty cool here, and we have done it together. I'd never have made it beyond the daydreaming stage without you. THANK YOU.

Next, I'd like to express a moment of thanks that we live in the 21st Century, where things like Positron emission tomography are daily working realities and not merely visions of what might be. Thanks to a half-century of slow and steady scientific research and the efforts of doctors, nurses, and medical technicians too numerous to name, my wife and I now have a future to look forward to together. Whatever your other doubts and complaints about the 21st Century may be—yes, Henry, we all know, you still want your flying car—it is a marvelous time to be alive, and miracles do still happen.

As for my hopes for 2012: I'll just come back to what I call STUPEFYING STORIES 1.4 and everyone else is calling the January issue.* The crew has really come together, the contents have really come together, and we're on the home stretch to releasing it soon. As I look at it and everything that's in the queue behind it, I can't help but feel very optimistic about 2012. Upward and onward! Per aspera ad astra!

Here's hoping all of you are looking forward to a bigger, brighter, and better New Year!

Kind regards,
Bruce Bethke

* P.S. To clear up any confusion, since we've now published four volumes of STUPEFYING STORIES, one in 2010 and three in the last quarter of 2011, and since we pay actual cash money to contributors, STUPEFYING STORIES can now be considered a Semiprozine. I don't see this as making a difference in our operations or philosophy, but apparently this is a distinction of great significance to people who think about categories and awards, and I certainly wouldn't object to adding a few more of the latter to my collection.

The Friday Challenge — 12/30/2011

2011-12-30T13:30:00.005-06:00

This week in The Friday Challenge:

The January issue of STUPEFYING STORIES is moving along at full steam, for a first-week-of-the-year launch! What? So soon after our December release? Yessssss, my precious...

Bruce Bethke gives folks a free teaser, because he's just swell that way. Keep your eyes peeled for the forthcoming Rampant Loon Press collection, Will Write for Food: Twenty Years of Short Stories by Bruce Bethke. • Join the discussion...

Bruce Bethke ~~doesn't have much to say~~ fills a page with quibbles about Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows. • Join the discussion...

The Holidays interrupt our normal judging schedule, but the results for our “And now, for the next century and a half...” challenge will still be posted in the next few days, once the merry-making settles down a bit. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as the fifteen days of Christmahanukwanzakastivus span Make Up Your Mind Day, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.

“And now, for the next century and a half...”

As a reminder, the following entries are under consideration for our previous challenge:

If you have not yet left feedback for this “Thunderdome: Christmas Edition” challenge, there's no time like the unopened present.

Higglety Pigglety Pop!

As of this morning, we have received the following ~~entry~~ entries for our current challenge:

Since we are, as the challenge stated, “in the midst of the most wonderfully hectic time of the year,” this isn't a terribly surprising turn of events. Rather than treat ~~Tom's entry as a sole contender~~ Tom and Tyler's entries as the only contenders, we are extending Higglety Pigglety Pop! by a week, and making it the first official Friday Challenge of 2012. Here is a recap:

As a young child, one of my favorite books was Maurice Sendak's Higglety Pigglety Pop! or There Must Be More to Life, layered with multiple meanings, poetic prose, and darkly detailed depictions of the more that there must be. (Suffice it to say, I was an odd child, and I doubt any of you are surprised by that revelation.)

You may be familiar with that book, or you may not; for the purposes of this challenge, it really doesn't matter. The thing to remember is that this week's writing must be a bit higglety pigglety (since we are, after all, in the midst of the most wonderfully hectic time of the year!), and it must “Pop!” Multiple meanings, poetic prose, and darkly detailed depictions are entirely optional... but including them certainly won't hurt your chances of being declared our weekly winner.

I'll only allow 120 words. Pop!

You may post your entries as comments below, post on your personal blog and give a link below, or add to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group in our current directory.

Anyone can enter, with no restrictions, and you may enter as many times as you wish.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 6 January 2012. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 8 January 2012 (and since I shan't be celebrating Kim Jong-un's birthday, there shouldn't be any reason to deviate from that schedule!).

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

What? One more more thing? Oh, yes:

From all of us, to all of you, Happy New Year! All the best for 2012, and may you be safe, warm, and with those you love.

Deadline Reminder

2011-12-29T07:00:00.001-06:00

NOTE: We haven’t forgotten about the previous challenge (“And now, for the next century and a half...”), but we didn’t think through the logistics of Christmas week.

At the moment, the reindeer are all kvetching about the unseasonable lack of wintry precipitation at this latitude, and the elves miss their frostbite. We’re in the process of ~~banishing~~ packing them away for another year, so we can get on with mo’ better challenge judging in 2012, and all the other Stupefying hijinks we have planned.

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — Higglety Pigglety Pop! — is 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 30 December 2011... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 6 AM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 1 January 2012 (or thereabouts!).

Ultimate Geek Fu

2011-12-28T08:00:00.138-06:00

It's the Wednesday after Christmas. Half the Friday Challenge crew is out on the road somewhere, and the rest of us are still recovering from the holiday. I personally am up to my armpits in trying to pull the January STUPEFYING STORIES together. And still you want an Ultimate Geek Fu?

Okay, let's see: did anyone get any good books for Christmas? I mean, aside from Jimi Plays Dead, by yours truly, which is still available for free on Amazon for one more day?

As for electronic media: the last time I had the TV on was to watch the Packers beat the Bears—honestly, even though they're Da Bears, by the 4th quarter, I was feeling sorry for them—and the next time I anticipate having the TV on will be to watch the Packers play the Lions. So I really have nothing to say re TV this week.

The last movie I saw in the theater was Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows —which was good enough, for a big-budget CGI-heavy December blockbuster, but really more of a steampunked-up Indiana Jones Meets The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen than a Sherlock Holmes story. Chase scene, fight scene, chase scene, fight scene, comic relief breather, chase scene, fight scene, D.S. al coda...

Some quibbles:

1. The palette ran the entire range from dark blue to brown to gray to black, with most of the film looking like grubby gray actors on black sets shot through blue filters. Even the gypsy camp was oddly monochromatic. Would it have hurt to put some color in the thing?

2. Can we please declare a moratorium on the "shifting film speed" chase scene gimmick? You know, where most of the scene is run at slightly faster-than-normal frame rates to give a sense of frenetic action, but then it drops into super slow-motion to show a bullet just creasing a character or shattering a tree? We've seen that one enough. Come up with a new visual cliche, please.

3. Downey's riff on Heath Ledger's "Joker" really is just awful. Pulls you completely out of this movie and makes you realize you wish you were watching The Dark Knight instead.

4. As a story, the biggest problem with this one was that this version of Professor Moriarty felt like a complete lightweight. I've said it before and I'll continue to say it: the quality of the villain determines the value of the hero. In the Holmes canon, Moriarty is supposed to be "the Napoleon of Crime." This guy was more of a cheese Danish.

5. Finally, the whole film could have been redeemed by one image: if, while Holmes and Watson were prowling around Moriarty's "secret weapons factory" and discovering all these "futuristic" weapons with which Moriarty was planning to bring death and destruction to the world (e.g., broomhandle Mausers, Vickers machine guns, Skoda cannons), they had rounded a corner, and Downey's Holmes had found himself looking at a steampunked-up Edwardian "Iron Man" suit. That moment would have made this movie. But it wasn't in this movie.

Hmm. Guess I had more to say about this movie than I thought.

Anyway, there's your UGF roundup for this Wednesday morning. I don't believe I've said anything controversial, but since it has become our traditional conclusion, I will conclude with:

Let the arguments begin!

And the winner is...

2011-12-25T17:45:00.001-06:00

... not going to be announced on Christmas day, after all! It was overly ambitious to even think doing so was possible.

See you all tomorrow! May you be safe and warm, with those you love.

Jingle Bell Rock!

2011-12-24T07:01:00.029-06:00

For the next five days only, for Kindle only, and just because I'm such a wonderfully nice guy—and also because I've been playing around with Amazon's "Promotions Manager" function, and I want to see how well it works—I am giving away, absolutely free, this handsome little e-book, JIMI PLAYS DEAD!

Download it today! Tell your friends! Tell your friends' friends! Tell the people who aren't really such good friends of yours after all but you wouldn't turn down having a beer with them, if they were buying! Tell everyone!

And may you and yours have a Happy Christmas!
~brb

P.S. If you don't have a Kindle, you can always download the free Kindle Reading App for PC, Mac, iPhone, iPad, Blackberry, Android, etc., etc., etc...

Open Mic Saturday

2011-12-24T07:00:00.000-06:00

The Friday Challenge — 12/23/2011

2011-12-23T12:00:00.000-06:00

This week in The Friday Challenge:

The December issue of STUPEFYING STORIES is released! • Buy a copy at Amazon, Apple or Barnes & Noble...

Henry Vogel ponders upon the way “fans” are percieved. • Join the discussion...

Lady Quill wins our A Reindeer to Remember challenge, by being beautiful. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as the fifteen days of Christmahanukwanzakastivus get underway, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.

“And now, for the next century and a half...”

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:

An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and a winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 25 December 2011 (or as close thereto as can be reasonably managed, given travel and a borrowed computer).

Higglety Pigglety Pop!

And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, inflicted by M:

As a young child, one of my favorite books was Maurice Sendak's Higglety Pigglety Pop! or There Must Be More to Life, layered with multiple meanings, poetic prose, and darkly detailed depictions of the more that there must be. (Suffice it to say, I was an odd child, and I doubt any of you are surprised by that revelation.)

You may be familiar with that book, or you may not; for the purposes of this challenge, it really doesn't matter. The thing to remember is that this week's writing must be a bit higglety pigglety (since we are, after all, in the midst of the most wonderfully hectic time of the year!), and it must “Pop!” Multiple meanings, poetic prose, and darkly detailed depictions are entirely optional... but including them certainly won't hurt your chances of being declared our weekly winner.

I'll only allow 120 words. Pop!

You may post your entries as comments below, post on your personal blog and give a link below, or add to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group in our current directory.

Anyone can enter, with no restrictions, and you may enter as many times as you wish.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 30 December 2011. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 1 January (yes, on New Year's Day!) 2012.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Deadline Reminder

2011-12-22T11:12:00.002-06:00

NOTE: Friday morning's post will be closer to noon, due to holiday travel and a borrowed computer! (Anyone contemplating an entry has roughly six additional hours in which to compose 200 words.)

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — “And now, for the next century and a half...” — is 12 PM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 23 December 2011... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 12 PM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 25 December 2011.

Ultimate Geek Fu

2011-12-21T07:00:00.007-06:00

Many, many years ago, back in the mid 1980s, I went to a local comedy show with my wife and a group of her friends. The show featured three comedians, none of whom any of us had ever heard of. The most unknown guy came on and was pretty funny. It helped that he had less time on stage than anyone else, allowing him to stick with his best material.

The middling unknown guy had a completely different style from the first guy and was struggling to make a connection with the audience. He was trying really hard but wasn't getting much feedback from the audience. At some point, he called out something to the audience, looking for some response. When none came, I took pity on him.

"Yeah!" I called out.

Of course, that brought me to his attention. Finally having some with whom he could interact, the comedian singled me out with the standard question comedians ask members of the audience.

"You sir," he called. "What do you do for a living?"

I paused, thinking the guy really needed a "typical" response such as salesman or lawyer or something he could use as a jumping off point to make fun of me.

I said, "I write comic books."

There was a long pause as the guy just stared at me. So did most of the audience. Then the guy threw up his arms and said, "Great, I pick the one guy in the audience with a better job than me!"

That got him the laughs he hadn't been getting. For the rest of the show, when things got slow, he came back to me, using every cliché associated with comic book and science fiction fandom, trying to draw laughs from my unexpected response to his question. I didn't mind because the look I got when I told him I wrote comic books was worth the price of admission and his attempts to make fun of me. If it hadn't been for that stunned look, I probably wouldn't have taken it quite so well.

The story isn't a perfect intro to today's geek fu topic, but it's good enough. The topic is the way science fiction and comic book fans are portrayed in the media. As an example, finding an article about comic books in a mainstream media publication was a mixed blessing. Comic book fans liked seeing outside interest in comic books but hated the way headline writers always wrote something like "Biff! Pow! Local Duo Publishes Comic Book!" Science fiction fans always hated that the photos and the quotes from a convention were always from the guy who spent the entire convention dressed as a Klingon or wearing Spock ears, ignoring the fans who would give thoughtful quotes and whose photo would not frighten the mothers of young fans.

We here at Geek Fu Central are interested in positive, or at least gently appreciative, portrayals of fandom. To keep this from wandering all over the place, we're going to limit ourselves to movies. Offhand, Bruce and I could only think of two movies in which science fiction fans were portrayed appreciatively.

I added a model of the spaceship from one of those movies to my desk at work just last week; the N.S.E.A. Protector. For those who don't recall, that's the ship from the best, most-loving science fiction spoof ever made -- Galaxy Quest. The fans were obviously modeled after Star Trek fans, but the movie treated them kindly. The people who ridiculed the fans were shown as obnoxious. The fans, while sometimes overly zealous, were shown in a positive light. Watching the movie, the fans reminded me of actual fans I'd met while appearing as a guest at conventions. They were excited to be at the convention, excited to be meeting people associated with something they loved, and generally likable.

The other movie, one which Bruce has just recently seen, is Paul, which I reviewed back in March. The movie opens at the San Diego Comic Con, where the fans are shown in a positive light. This is probably because the movie was written by and stars two certified geeks; Nick Frost and Simon Pegg. These two guys met when one of them overheard the other one doing a stand-up comedy routine all about Star Wars. Their geek cred is solid and, while they don't mind making fun of geeks, you know they're poking fun at themselves and us. In other words, it's actually funny.

Can you think of some other movies which treat our kind as gently as these two movies? And, what the heck, let's toss it open to TV, too.

Let the arguments begin!

And the winner is (Special Holiday/Youth Edition!)...

2011-12-19T22:43:00.003-06:00

“You know Dasher, and Dancer, and Prancer, and Vixen; Comet, and Cupid, and Donner, and Blitzen... but do you recall, that Reindeer that no one ever talks about?”

If any of you are able to take a second look at your own work, and see ways in which to improve a concept so that it can be more successfully developed, the effort will be worthwhile.

Those of you who vote are allowed to assign a range of “0” to “3” points, per entry. Since challengers may not vote for their own stories, a bonus of 2 points is given to a participant's highest-ranked work, if that participant also takes the time to numerically vote on the other entries.

Official judges receive a 30 point allocation, to assign as they see fit. The only restriction is that at most, only half of those points may be given to any single entry (unless there is only one entry, in which case the silly restriction is lifted!), and there is no requirement for a judge to use the entire 30 point allocation.

M is about to put on the “Editor Hat.” It's sort of like the “Sorting Hat” they use at Hogwarts (“Oh, Rudolph... you aren't really Gryffindor material! Now get off the Quidditch field.”), but a little less sarcastic.

A Reindeer to Remember

“Bucktooth the Redneck Reindeer” by Triton

M: It is to your credit that I could imagine Jeff Foxworthy delivering this piece. Aaaannnd, that's about all I'll say about this one.

M_Nicole_Cunningham: 0 / Ryan Jones: 1.5 / Tyler Tork: 1.5 / xdpaul: 1
M: 3
Total: 7

“Gander” by M_Nicole_Cunningham

M: Beautiful, captivating, and even a bit lyrical. Unfortunately, I don't quite understand the last two lines. (Were you going for ambiguous clarity, or clear ambiguity?)

M_Nicole_Cunningham: voted! / Ryan Jones: 3 / Tyler Tork: 2.5 / xdpaul: 2
M: 6
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 15.5

“Hreinn Larsen, Santa's Stable Keeper” by Ryan Jones

M: You could probably get a profitable children's story out of this one. I like it.

M_Nicole_Cunningham: 1 / Ryan Jones: voted! / Tyler Tork: 2 / xdpaul: 2
M: 4
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 11

“Vanish, The White-hued Reindeer” by xdpaul

M: Pure description isn't necessarily a bad thing, but you weren't playing to your strengths, here. Sadly, I have to disqualify you for burying us in an avalanche of words. (If they had been really, really short words and equalled the approximate number of letters in some of the other entries, I could have been swayed.)

M_Nicole_Cunningham: 0 / Ryan Jones: 2.5 / Tyler Tork: 0 / xdpaul: voted!
M: 0
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 4.5

“Cavil, the Dissident Reindeer” by Tyler Tork

M: With tongue planted firmly in cheek, you've succinctly eviscerated the jolly old elf of any redeeming qualities. One suspects that sweat shops and patent violations are only the tip of the icicle...

M_Nicole_Cunningham: 2 / Ryan Jones: 2 / Tyler Tork: voted! / xdpaul: 1
M: 5
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 12

“The Mother of All Reindeer” by Lady Quill

M: As with Ryan's work, you could easily spin this one into a fondly-remembered children's tale. Or, you could spin it into a rant about how aliens should be more careful when expelling their spent antigrav rods, and a celebration of Tonna's fortuitous discovery of Babel fish in the frozen tundra...

Arisia: + / M_Nicole_Cunningham: 2 / Ryan Jones: 3 / Tyler Tork: 1.5 / xdpaul: 3
M: 6
Total: 15.5+

“Reynaldo, the Norm Peterson of Reindeer” by Allan Davis

M: If you reworked this gag as a single-panel illustration, you could probably sell it to a greeting card company and sell a bazillion copies each December. Then George Wendt would hunt you down and kill you.

M_Nicole_Cunningham: 3 / Ryan Jones: 2 / Tyler Tork: 2.5 / xdpaul: 2
M: 6
Total: 15.5

And in the Junior Division:

“The 4 Leg Reindeer” by the six year old

M: I have the strong impression that your reindeer is equally likely to take up the manufacture of poisoned apples, or spinning wool from homeless cats. The word that comes to mind is mglw'nafh, but since I'm guessing your parents haven't explained that one to you yet, I'll go with "evocative."

M_Nicole_Cunningham: “very interesting structure” / Ryan Jones: “full of implications” / Tyler Tork: “most existential” / xdpaul: “awesome”
M: “evocative”

“Artemis Boomer” by the nine year old

M: Even at a young age, you've already learned the power of a surprise ending. I did not see this one coming. Of course, neither did the reindeer.

M_Nicole_Cunningham: “a definite future in writing” / Ryan Jones: “could be the hook” / Tyler Tork: “interesting protagonist” / xdpaul: “Pushcart Prize”
M: “surprise ending”

“School Bus Reindeer” by the ten year old

M: Has your father already introduced you to a little series called Axe Cop, by chance? When/if he does, here's another word you might want to keep in mind: "collaboration." Just make sure you don't forget that other magic word ("royalties"), when you spring it on him.

M_Nicole_Cunningham: “very original” / Ryan Jones: “mastered the use of understatement” / Tyler Tork: “Deep.” / xdpaul: “complex”
M: “collaboration/royalties”

Wrap-up...

And the numbers don't lie. We have... a three-way tie?

1st Place: 15.5 points — “Gander” by M_Nicole_Cunningham
1st Place: 15.5+ points — “The Mother of All Reindeer” by Lady Quill
1st Place: 15.5 points — “Reynaldo, the Norm Peterson of Reindeer” by Allan Davis

Oh, wait! Arisia cast a characteristic tie-breaking, non-numeric endorsement, with that little “+" beside “The Mother of All Reindeer.” Congratulations, Lady Quill!

Afterword...

As a reminder, over the next few weeks we are trying something a little different, as we engage in a few smaller, lighter challenges, while the holidays swirl us about, higgledy-piggledy and piggledy-pop. (Yes, that still might just be a subtle hint about the next challenge, since it turned out to not be a hint about the one we just proposed...)

So rest your creative faculties, but if a challenge intrigues you during this holiday interval, then by all means join the fun! Our current challenge is: “And now, for the next century and a half...”

And the winner is...

2011-12-18T14:00:00.000-06:00

... going to be announced tomorrow. I'd originally planned to schedule the results to post later this evening, since I'll very shortly be schmoozing with the stars at a Christmas party. But since a few folks voted this week, rather than prematurely ending the fun, I'm giving everyone else a little longer to add their own comments and scores (and earn participation bonuses, for those so inclined).

To hold you over, here is a peek what we've been working on. That's right... the December issue is finally about to be released!

Open Mic Saturday

2011-12-17T07:00:00.000-06:00

The Friday Challenge — 12/16/2011

2011-12-16T16:00:00.004-06:00

This week in The Friday Challenge:

Bruce Bethke paraphrases Samuel Clemens, in the latest addition to our “Slushpile Survival Guide.” • Join the discussion...

Henry Vogel shares the story of his geekiest Christmas gift ever (and this one wasn't it, just in case anyone was wondering). • Join the discussion...

Kersley Fitzgerald becomes a quivering mass of mucous, but still finds the time to share a valuable PSA. • Join the discussion...

Guy Stewart wins our Parklife challenge, by bringing a truly invasive species into the greenhouse. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as the proximity of National Ding-a-Ling Day and National Chocolate Covered Anything Day suggests permutations too bizarre to discuss in a family-friendly forum, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.

A Reindeer to Remember

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:

An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and a winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 18 December 2011.

“And now, for the next century and a half...”

And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, inflicted by M:

Last night I stayed up until 3 AM, to meet a submission deadline. This morning I attended my daughter's Christmas program... and after lunch, we attended another program, put on by one of the schools we are contemplating once she starts kindergarten.

Now, in getting out the door this morning, I only managed a single cup of coffee. Normally I'm a three-cups-to-start-the-day man. If I don't get it, I won't get a lot of other things, either. I mention this, because it is undoubtedly the source of this week's challenge.

The second program we attended was A Christmas Carol, acted out by a half dozen elementary students from a local Montessori school. Production values were a few notches below those of William Hartnell-era Doctor Who, but the kids were expressing an admirable degree of creativity and enthusiasm, and pulled off a respectable degree of memorization, given their ages.

As my attention — compounded by the aforementioned deficiency of caffeine — drifted, I realized that although I've grown to resent this annual infliction of Dickens' lesser work (and all the myriad retellings that infest popular culture under the guise of public domain interpretation), it is a notable example of our genre subtly infusing the public consciousness, to the degree that it is difficult to imagine any displacement.

You see, despite the hokum that Robert Zemeckis tried to foist on the public with his mo-cap travesty a few years ago, A Christmas Carol really is science fiction. Sure, it's fantasy, too... and a bit of horror, for good measure. The narrative is filled with time travel, voyeuristic spirits, and dire warnings from beyond the grave, and if it wasn't for the fact that I encounter handfuls of pallid, uncreative variations on the same theme every winter, I'd probably think it was the most brilliant thing ol' Chuck D. ever wrote.

What bothered me was that, in over a century and a half of imitation, no one has managed to do better.

Now, you all know the basic plot well enough to verbally sketch it in under 200 words, and brevity of concept is part of what makes A Christmas Carol such an appealing tradition, for young and old alike! So 200 words is what I'll give you, to sketch out the essence of your own SF/F/H-holiday tale. You must have elements of all three genres, and at least one lovable character... and you may not borrow from anything recognizably Dickensian.

You may post your entries as comments below, post on your personal blog and give a link below, or add to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group in our current directory.

Anyone can enter, with no restrictions, and you may enter as many times as you wish.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 23 December 2011. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 25 December (yes, on Christmas Day!) 2011.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Deadline Reminder

2011-12-15T09:30:00.005-06:00

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — A Reindeer to Remember — is 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 16 December 2011... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 6 AM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 18 December 2011.

UPDATE: Friday morning's post will be closer to ~~noon~~ four... so you all have a few extra hours in which to pay tribute to that "special" reindeer!

Critical Sneezing

2011-12-15T06:00:00.001-06:00

I'm sick. I think I'm slowly dissolving into some kind of gelatinous snot monster. And my in-laws come today. And I have an elementary school concert tonight. "Pity the Gelf!"

All my brain cells have turned to phlegm, so I leave you with this public service announcement. Please, star folk, remember who the enemy is.

Ignore the placement of his head in comparison to the painting's crotch.

George Takei is one of only ten actors to have appeared in both the Star Trek and Star Wars franchises (he's a voice on the Clone Wars cartoon.) Deep Roy is the only actor to have appeared in Star Trek, Star Wars, and Doctor Who.

Ultimate Geek Fu

2011-12-14T08:00:00.002-06:00

I'm sure everyone has noticed that a major holiday is approaching; one associated with the giving of gifts. I'm sure we've all gotten our share of odd and inappropriate gifts over the years. Those range from clothes given to you when you were a little kid and only interested in receiving toys to, um, clothes given to you when you were ostensibly an adult and still only interested in receiving toys. This column is about "geek fu," though, so I have another kind of gift in mind.

What is the geekiest gift you've ever received?

I don't even have to think all that hard to come up with my geekiest gift. It was 1997, back in the halcyon days before the Star Wars prequels had been released. Back in the days when our only complaint was that George Lucas had screwed up the scene between Han and Greedo in the Mos Eisley Cantina. Yes, we all screamed "Han shot first!" but at least Jar Jar Binks was still in the future. The upshot of all of this is that Star Wars merchandise was more plentiful than it had ever been before and a lot of it was aimed at adults.

That brings me around to my geekiest gift ever. On Christmas morning, a beautifully wrapped box was handed to me. Just holding the box, it felt like clothes. There was just something about the weight and the type of box that gave it away. Now, I have reached the point where I don't really mind getting clothes for Christmas (being responsible for buying your own clothes will do that to you), but unless I'm getting a geeky t-shirt, clothing still doesn't make my heart leap with joy. So, with a carefully pasted on look of anticipation, I opened the box. I was right, it was clothing. A jacket, to be exact; something I most definitely did need. But it wasn't just any jacket.

It was an authentic, exact replica of the jacket worn by Luke Skywalker in The Empire Strikes Back. I've always liked that jacket, so it was cool beyond belief to me. It was equally fun to wear it to work after the holidays and note who recognized it (three other geeks).

The jacket no longer fits, but I still have it. To this day, it is my geekiest gift ever. Can you top that?

Let the arguments begin!

The Slushpile Survival Guide

2011-12-13T08:00:00.102-06:00

For this week's Slushpile Survival Guide, I asked our intrepid slushpile readers to come up with a list of the stories that they've seen enough of already and would be perfectly happy to never see again. Unfortunately it proved impossible to shorten and clean up their responses enough to fit it into a single column, so instead, this week I'd like to talk about Mark Twain's Rules for Writing — which, to judge by the last hundred stories or so I've rejected, are no longer being taught in schools.

Perhaps the title is somewhat misleading. As far as I can tell Twain never actually wrote a serious article on how to write fiction. Rather, his Rules appear in the context of his famous essay, "Fennimore Cooper's Literary Offences", which is composed of equal parts literary criticism and hatchet job. Twain cites his Rules en passant —

"There are nineteen rules governing literary art in the domain of romantic fiction*—some say twenty-two."

and then proceeds to list only 18, some of which appear to be made up on the spot, solely for the purpose of abusing Mr. Cooper's work.

(* It is also worth noting that at the time Twain wrote this essay, all novels were romantic fiction. Even H. G. Wells called his early novels such as The War of the Worlds and The Time Machine "scientific romances." The term romance did not become synonymous with "Harlequin bodice-ripper" until the post-WWII paperback publishing boom.)

Some of Twain's rules are stylistic in nature and simply the rules of good writing, period. E.g.,

These require that the author shall:

12. Say what he is proposing to say, not merely come near it.

13. Use the right word, not its second cousin.

14. Eschew surplusage.

15. Not omit necessary details.

16. Avoid slovenliness of form.

17. Use good grammar.

18. Employ a simple and straightforward style.

However, the rules I've seen violated most egregiously and often in the stories I've been reading lately fall into the range of the first eleven, and require some extraction from Twain's wholesale slagging of Cooper. Taking the liberty of editing and elliding Mr. Twain's words, then; the rules of fiction require:

1. That a tale shall accomplish something and arrive somewhere.

2. That the episodes of a tale shall be necessary parts of the tale and shall help to develop it.

3. That the personages in the tale shall be alive, except in the case of corpses, and that the reader shall be able to tell the corpses from the others.

4. That the personages in a tale, both dead and alive, exhibit sufficient cause for being there.

5. (Skipped. Too complex to simplify.)

6. That when the author describes the character of a personage in his tale, the conduct and conversation of that personage shall justify said description.

7. That when a personage talks like an illustrated, gilt-edged, tree-calf, hand-tooled, seven-dollar Friendship's Offering in the beginning of a paragraph, he shall not talk like a negro minstrel in the end of it.

8. That crass stupidities shall not be played upon the reader.

9. (Skipped. Not entirely relevant to SF/F.)

10. That the author shall make the reader feel a deep interest in the personages of his tale and in their fate.

11. (Skipped. Debatable.)

In music, these are what we call rudiments: the most fundamental and basic skills you need to get down cold before you can even start to think about doing anything more complicated. This isn't an all-inclusive guide, but it's a good start.

Hope this helps. Will write more next week.

~brb

And the winner is...

2011-12-11T19:15:00.000-06:00

Oh how sweet, to be a vegetable...

If ~~any of~~ you are able to take a second look at your own work, and see ways in which to improve a concept so that it can be more successfully developed, the effort will be worthwhile.

Those of you who vote are allowed to assign a range of “0” to “3” points, per entry. Since challengers may not vote for their own stories, a bonus of 2 points is given to a participant's highest-ranked work, if that participant also takes the time to numerically vote on the other entries.

Official judges receive a 30 point allocation, to assign as they see fit. The only restriction is that at most, only half of those points may be given to any single entry (unless there is only one entry, in which case the silly restriction is lifted!), and there is no requirement for a judge to use the entire 30 point allocation.

Jack Calverley is about to put on the “Editor Hat.” It's sort of like the “Sorting Hat” they use at Hogwarts (“You'll enjoy Professor Rasthmussin's class on carnivorous plants. Oh, he's been eaten? I meant Professor Gornificall's class.”), but a little less sarcastic.

Parklife

“Chance Encounter” by Guy Stewart

Jack Calverley: First, thank you for submitting your story. I enjoyed reading it and it fits the bill exactly.

On starting, the story immediately imparts a sense of place and purpose. The plant is given character by placing it in opposition to the WheetAh, and by expressing its attitude to the WheetAh.

I like the reversal that someone formally educated in horticulture can only get a job in horticulture as a translator. It seems to me to reflect a truth about the human (or at least socitey's) condition.

Having earlier established the attitude to the WheetAh, that fact is neatly used to involve the reader via the expression: "the WheetAh begged" — the reader immediately understands how the plant will react to this.

I like the idea that the plant can control the chemicals it emits, and uses them to react to the human, revealing how it both deals with antagonism and lures its prey.

“The children!” is a nice touch.

I thought it might have been better to be more specific where the human says “...some skirmish thing...” or where the narrator says “the entire thing” (I suppose the word “thing” worries me). I think that naming the nitric acid specifically might have made the story more accessible to the non-chemist reader.

“It sloshed heavily” is a neat showing rather than telling.

Overall: a concise herbicide of invasive species.

Jack Calverley: 30
Total: 30

Wrap-up...

Again, an easy batch of numbers to tally:

1st Place: 30 points — “Chance Encounter” by Guy Stewart

Congratulations, Guy Stewart!

Afterword...

As a reminder, over the next few weeks we'll be trying something a little different. We'll be engaged in a few smaller, lighter challenges, while the holidays swirl us about, higgledy-piggledy and piggledy-pop. (Yes, that might just be a subtle hint about the next challenge...)

So rest your creative faculties, but if a challenge intrigues you during this holiday interval, then by all means join the fun! Our current challenge is: A Reindeer to Remember

Open Mic Saturday

2011-12-10T07:00:00.000-06:00

The Friday Challenge — 12/09/2011

2011-12-09T08:21:00.003-06:00

This week in The Friday Challenge:

Henry Vogel examines the true value of a cover letter. • Join the discussion...

Kersley Fitzgerald goes back to the beginning, and asks, “was it good?” • Join the discussion...

Guy Stewart sold a short story to Cast of Wonders: The YA Sci-fi & Fantasy Audio Magazine . • Listen to the podcast online, or download Ep20: Peanut Butter and Jellyfish by Guy Stewart (Part 1)...

Arisia wins The Tellurian Shower challenge, by showing, telling, and being brave enough to enter in the face of the holiday rush. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as M breaks in a new fountain pen on Letter Writing Day, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.

Parklife

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:

“Chance Encounter” by Guy Stewart

An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and a winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 11 December 2011.

A Reindeer to Remember

And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, inflicted by M:

We've had a few successively slow weeks. In fact, this is the fourth... and I think I know why! If, like me, your heart is ten sizes too small and you must annually force yourself into the holiday spirit with animated infusions of Christmas cheer, you probably haven't had an abundance of emotional energy to invest in writing/presenting that brilliant challenge entry that's been slowly percolating in the back of your head.

This week, we'll try something simple. An exercise for those atrophying green-and-red muscles, so to speak!

Give me a character sketch of a Reindeer.

“Wait,” I can hear you complain, “that's kind of limited! We only have enough for nine entries. There are Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen, and Sniffles.”

Not so fast, kids. If there's one thing the old Rankin/Bass stop-motion Animagic specials taught us (well, besides the fact that Santa is kind of an a$$hole), it's that there are a lot of Reindeer at the North Pole. They're sort of like the Three Stooges: Everyone can name Moe, Larry and Curly, although most of the world forgets about Shemp, Joe Palma, Joe Besser, Curly Joe, Emil Sitka, Purley Stebbins, and Hicky Burr.

But if Santa can remember all the naughty and nice kiddies in the whole wide world, the least we can do is acknowledge a few of the “supporting cast” Reindeer stuck in the less glamourous roles, at the North Pole. I want to hear about Rudolph's sister Natasha, who had a shiny red tail. I want to hear about Chlamydia the Reindeer, who absolutely hated his name. I want to hear about Venison the Reindeer, who... well, come to think of it, no one has seen Venison since the Donner party last Christmas. I wonder how he's doing?

At any rate, that is this week's challenge! Give me a character sketch, in 120 words or less, of a Reindeer your think we should remember.

You may post your entries as comments below, post on your personal blog and give a link below, or add to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group in our current directory.

Anyone can enter, with no restrictions, and you may enter as many times as you wish.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 16 December 2011. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 18 December 2011.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Deadline Reminder

2011-12-08T07:00:00.001-06:00

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — Parklife — is 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 9 December 2011... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 6 AM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 11 December 2011.

M: Guy Stewart has already added an entry to the Yahoo Group, although not within the directory (since I hadn't yet created the directory when he posted it!). Guy, if you see this in time, feel free to re-post in the directory... but if you don't, no worries; I'll link to your entry wherever it is, when the results are posted tomorrow morning.

Critical Thinking: Beginnings

2011-12-08T06:00:00.002-06:00

After reading a few dozen more stories in the slush pile, I thought I'd talk a little about story beginnings. That right there, was a terrible first line. It was boring. Lesson #1: don't use first lines like that one!

The beginning of a story may be the most important part. Some of the slushies don't read past the first couple of pages. That means you don't have 2000 words to wow them. You may not have 1000 words. You need to do it right away. You need to wow them, amaze them, draw them in—all while making sense. It's possible, but it's a delicate balancing act.

Orientation vs. too much detail. I mentioned it before—how important is the appearance of your character to the story? Would describing the character add to the story, or take away from the narrative flow? (And, please, try to find a term to use other than "frame," as in, "He folded his long frame into the trash compactor." It's not bad, per se. We just see it a lot.) It does help to know if this is a sci fi story or a swords and sandals or an Elvis mystery, but sometimes too much detail is just boring. Annie Proulx once spent hours with a guy who hand-makes knives. She learned about the metal and the forging and the hilt…everything there was to making a hand-made knife. After all those hours, she used that information in one line—about how a knife fit in a character's hand. She was fascinated by the entire process, but it wasn't appropriate for the narrative. And she'll probably use some of that information in another story.

Action vs. empathy. Many good writers with more experience than I'll ever have recommend you start in the middle of the action. Maybe even in the middle of a fight, although "action" could mean anything that causes tension. I recently read such a story. It opened right up with a man fighting a monster—and continued for many, many pages. Here's the hard part, though: who cares? The fight was exciting and very well-written, but it can be difficult (especially for a plot-based writer) to get through that first intense scene and still make the reader care about the character. Humor helps, although I'm beginning to realize that writing humor must be a very rare gift. How you do it exactly depends on the genre and tone of the story, as well as the characters in play. Beginning with some kind of tension is definitely a plus, but we better get through that first scene with some kind of empathy for the character.

Depth vs. info-dump. How many of you have seen the movie Dune? How many minutes passed before the narrator was finished explaining the characters and the political significance of blessed everything? How many of you fast-forwarded through that part the next time you watched it? Dune is 137 minutes long. One hundred thirty of those are narrated. You don't have the advantage of Kyle MacLachlan's hair and Sting's bod to keep people's attention. You may not have four pages. Some of the slushies can tell within a few sentences if the story's going to be good enough. Flashbacks/reminiscing/internal-dialogue-remembrances should be minimized in a short story, anyway. They certainly don't belong, in bulk, in the beginning of the story. It's fine to have an idea of where the story fits into a larger world, but keep it short, keep it tight, and keep it relevant to the moment.

The most entertaining slush stories I've read are those who begin the story at the beginning. The authors weren't so in love with their created world that they had to explain every detail. And they weren't so condescending to their audience that they felt they had to spoon-feed the relevant information. They just jumped right in and trusted the reader to follow. Once you have the reader's attention, and the reader's concern for the characters, you can afford to ease up on the throttle a bit. It's a balancing act, and it may take a lot of work to get it right, but it's worth it.

Kersley Fitzgerald is having a good time reading the slush pile. Except, perhaps, the stories from authors who don't read the submission guidelines and fill their story with ickiness. Because, you know, "ickiness" is a literary genre.

Ruminations of an Old Goat

2011-12-05T07:00:00.004-06:00

So, you've finished writing a story and you're ready to submit for possible publication. Congratulations, you've done the easy part of being an author. Up until this point, all of your energy has gone into creation, which is fun. You still need to spend energy creating more stories, but you also have to put energy into selling your story. My plan with this column is to help make sure you don't waste the energy you expend trying to sell your story.

Other than the story itself, what's the first thing you need to have to submit your story? Maybe a top notch cover letter? Perhaps having a personal connection to a decision maker at your publication of choice? Nice though those things are, they aren't the most important thing you need to have. What you really, truly need to have is a clue. As in a clue about what you're doing.

What do I mean by that? I'll tell you.

You need to know your market. Better yet, you know to know who your market is. Your market is not the fan who will buy the magazine to which you are submitting your story. The fan is the market for the magazine. Your market is the editor who holds the power to accept or reject your story. If the editor likes your story, you've probably got a sale. (Not definitely, as the magazine may already have several stories similar to yours already.) So here's the clue you need to know:

Don't piss off the editor with your submission!

It seems pretty simple, doesn't it? I mean, really, is there anyone who would do such a thing? Of course there are. People do stupid stuff all the time. But I'm not here to warn against telling an editor your story is better than any of that crap he's been publishing for the last year. I'm not going to warn against sending an idiotic "do you know who I am" sort of letter. I think you're all smart enough to avoid those stupid mistakes without my help. I'm going to touch on some other things, most of them just common sense, but worth touching on anyway.

First off, read the submission guidelines for the publication. This is very simple and, I believe, done by almost every writer in the business. That's not to say there aren't fools who ignore this simple bit of advice, but I don't think any of you are among those fools.

Second, and far more important than merely reading the submission guidelines, pay attention to what the submission guidelines say. If the submission guidelines say, "We are not interested in publishing fantasy stories." believe them. I don't care if your story reads like the second coming of J.R.R. Tolkein, if your cover letter begins, "I know you don't want fantasy stories, but mine is different," you're going to piss off the editor.

Editors are busy people who have to read a whole lot of fair to poor to wretched stories to find the few gems that end up being accepted. On top of all of that reading, they have to set the contents for each issue, write acceptance and rejection letters, and generally deal with an amazing variety of silly details having little to do with stories but everything to do with publishing them. Even the few minutes required to open (be it an email or a snail mail submission) and read your cover letter (or start reading the story, if you did not mention that your story was fantasy in your cover letter), is time the editor could be spending doing useful work. Then there's the time the editor will spend adding your name to The List (editors always have lists of people who piss them off) and the foul mood your willful ignorance will have engendered in the editor.

So, read and believe the submission guidelines. The editor won't thank you for it because the editor expects you to do it. Don't be the author who fails to meet the editor's expectations in this regard.

Next, the best way to know what to send to an editor is to know what the editor has bought. This is the bit where I tell you to buy copies of the publication in question and read them. This is also one of those areas where many writers fall down. They're too busy writing to read. They can't find a copy locally. Whatever the reason, many writers just make sure what they're submitting isn't contrary to the submission guidelines and assume that's enough. And it just may be enough, provided you're lucky enough to have submitted what the editor likes to buy or if your story is so strong that the editor accepts it anyway. If you want to leave your success as a writer to luck, then by all means ignore this bit of advice. But remember that it may irritate the editor to receive a story that is obviously outside of what the editor usually buys even if it isn't technically violating the submission guidelines.

I'll touch, finally, on the cover letter. Cover letters are, in my experience, only important if you screw it up. There are a lot of things included in cover letters which don't need to be there:

Don't tell the editor all about your story. Let your story speak for itself. Don't list everything you've ever had published by title and publication. Unless it's a major publication within the field, you're not telling the editor anything useful. A simple statement such as "I have made xx professional sales" or "I wrote comic books professionally for ten years" should suffice.

Don't list awards you've won unless it's an award everyone will have heard of. If you win a Hugo, a Nebula, the Philip K. Dick award, the John Campbell new writer award, or something equally big in another genre, your awards aren't going to mean anything to the editor.

Don't delve into personal details. The editor doesn't need (or, most likely, want) to know why you wrote the story or what is happening in your life right now. The editor only cares how good your story is.

I suggest a cover letter along the lines of "Dear Editor, I am submitting my story entitled for your consideration. It is xxxx words in length. Thank you for your time. Sincerely, ." And, no, you don't need to include a mini-bio in your cover letter. If the editor needs one from you, rest assured they'll ask for it.

In other words, cover letters really don't make the editor more likely to buy your story, though they can make the editor less likely to buy it.

Like I said at the beginning, this should all be common sense to most of you. Unfortunately, we get submission every week which prove that there are many writers out there who need to learn these few lessons.

And the winner is...

2011-12-04T18:00:00.000-06:00

Show? Tell? Beuller?

If you are able to take a second look at your own work, and see ways in which to improve a concept so that it can be more successfully developed, the effort will be worthwhile.

Those of you who vote are allowed to assign a range of “0” to “3” points, per entry. Since challengers may not vote for their own stories, a bonus of 2 points is given to a participant's highest-ranked work, if that participant also takes the time to numerically vote on the other entries.

Official judges receive a 30 point allocation, to assign as they see fit. The only restriction is that at most, only half of those points may be given to any single entry (unless there is only one entry, in which case the silly restriction is lifted!), and there is no requirement for a judge to use the entire 30 point allocation.

Jack Calverley is about to put on the “Editor Hat.” It's sort of like the “Sorting Hat” they use at Hogwarts (“Tellurian shower, my ratty fringe! If those kids would start taking real showers, the Sorting Hat wouldn't smell so bad.”), but a little less sarcastic.

The Tellurian Shower

“The Tellurian Showers challenge” by Arisia

Jack Calverley: First, thank you for responding to the challenge. And thank you for responding so very thoroughly (and I like the framing device).

As I read I find five sentences of telling:
• two sentences tell the reader about emotional states
• one sentence tells the reader that people stop talking
• one sentence summarising a verbal exchange
• one sentence telling the reader of the narrator's attitude

And in the reworked text, I find:
• Maryann performs a specific action at a specific time for a specific purpose
• Maryann speculates about Dr Conrad's actions and praises him
• Allan shows (by smiling) his emotional state to the camera
• Allan speaks to us and tells us about a specific alien encounter and so on

To the effect that emotional states are shown through speech and actions, and the story events unfold by people (and aliens) doing things (including speaking).

As to the question "Is that really better?", my understanding of the conventional wisdom (and since I'm still learning, I may not have grasped this correctly) is that, by showing, the reader is placed in the middle of the scene, can engage more intimately with the story world, is more likely to see from the protagonist's viewpoint, and so becomes emotionally sympathetic to the protagonist i.e. emotionally involved in the story and care about what happens.

Although something which I haven't quite grasped is when to stop showing. Even in a scene which is shown, the reader is told many things in single sentences, e.g. "The TV showed a strange object sitting on a runway at an airport" tells us something, and in principle could we not expand that into the cameraman focusing on the object, or someone running away from the object? - and even then analyse the sentences used for showing the sub-scene, down into something else, and so on. Maybe I'm over-analysing but, thinking in terms of a tree diagram, we might have the original tell sentence as the trunk, which we break up into show sentences for each branch, but many of those branch sentences are themselves tell sentences and can be broken up yet further... Where does one stop or is someone about to tell me I've missed the point?

In any case, thank you Arisia for a very clear example and for making me think!

Jack Calverley: 30
Total: 30

Wrap-up...

This was easily the simplest job I've ever had, of scoring a challenge:

1st Place: 30 points — “The Tellurian Showers challenge” by Arisia

Congratulations, Arisia!

Afterword...

So what was the lesson of this challenge?

M: The lesson may be that we need to take a short holiday break, rather than proposing a new challenge this coming Friday. Quite a few schedules are in flux at the moment, and participation has been (predictably) down for a few weeks.

Discussion? Are there people who have been aching to enter a challenge, or propose a challenge, who have not yet had time or opportunity? Or is it better for us to take a brief respite to focus on the season, on our loved ones, and to allow a little back-of-the-stove literary simmering?

Open Mic Saturday

2011-12-03T09:00:00.001-06:00

~brb adds: Looks like we're having problems Disqus again this morning. If you've got anything you're really eager to share, like the following post from Guy Stewart, you might also want to email it to the slushpile email address as a backup.

Guy Stewart writes:

My first REAL novel, INVADER'S GUILT has been searching for a home for a few years now. I loved the world and so I wrote a short story in the place. I sent the story out for a bit...and then all of a sudden a small market called CAST OF WONDERS bit and it sold. Well, the PODCAST of the story is up now at the link below. You can listen to it if you'd like, but I actually wrote it for young adults. If you could steer your kids toward it, I'd be REAL interested in hearing any comments they have...

http://www.castofwonders.org/episodes/

The Friday Challenge — 12/02/2011

2011-12-02T08:00:00.003-06:00

Bruce Bethke balances je ne sais quoi against Sturgeon's Law, in this week's episode of the “Slushpile Survival Guide.” • Join the discussion...

Henry Vogel is emotionally involved with inanimate objects. • Join the discussion...

Guy Stewart sings the praises of cinematic grain and a high contrast ratio. • Join the discussion...

Jack Calverley wins our Where There's a Will challenge, by being the only one of us pentametic enough to go iambic. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as Red Planet Day reminds M of his favorite vacation spot, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.

The Tellurian Shower

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:

“The Tellurian Showers challenge” by Arisia

An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and a winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 4 December 2011.

Parklife

And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, courtesy of Jack Calverley:

The picture is from the musical Little Shop of Horrors (M: Specifically from the 1986 Frank Oz-directed film adaptation of the 1982 musical based on the 1960 Roger Corman-directed comedy that was probably based on a little-known 1932 short story by John Collier, not that any of that matters in this context.), and this week's challenge is to write a scene based on this picture. In no more than 2000 words tell the story of what has just happened, is happening, or is about to happen — but, of course, not set in the world of the musical. It could be in your protagonist's greenhouse, or the villain's greenhouse or a conversation between two extras in Galaxy Quest II, or wherever the mood takes you...

Anyone can enter, except for Jack Calverley. You may enter as many times as you wish, but each entry must be independent of the others, and you may not build on anyone else's work.

Everyone is asked to vote, and to say a few words about what they liked, and why. Or to say a few words about what they disliked, as the case may be; by submitting an entry, you implicitly agree to accept criticism, because there will probably be some handed out, and no one is immune. When voting, please rank a work as either “0” (not so good), “1” (not as bad), “2” (could have been better) or “3” (pretty good stuff!). If you give either a “0” or “3” vote, feel free to argue in support of your reasoning.

Don't like the negativity? Feel free to think of the levels as “0” (Not bad for a first attempt), “1” (Right on!), “2” (Holy cow, I wanna buy this now...) or “3” (Sweet mother of God, how did you write something this awesome?!!). The point is to clearly differentiate, and rank according to your own preference.

For the purposes of this challenge, Jack Calverley will be serving as Ye Olde High Marker, Voluntarily Walking th' Plank.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 9 December 2011. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 11 December 2011.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Deadline Reminder ... and an “And the winner is...” update!

2011-12-01T10:00:00.002-06:00

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — The Tellurian Shower — is 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 2 December 2011... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 6 AM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 4 December 2011.

M: Oops! I knew I was forgetting something, last night. Thanks to ~brb for covering this morning!

I had hoped a few folks would offer feedback for Jack Calverley's entry in the Where There's a Will challenge, but at this point it's best to simply admit that iambic pentameter is not generally our strongest suit, and the challenge — although well conceived — left a lot of us feeling slightly puzzled about how best to form an approach.

Here are the official judge's comments, from Tyler Tork:

I thought Jack's submission was very much in the spirit of my suggestion, and was artfully done. On reflection, I'm sorry I asked for 400 words, because I tried a little of that myself and it's hard! So I'm impressed that he stuck with it, and gave us a nice steam-themed entry with a good conflict of luddite sentiment from the existing power base. I'd probably try to condense it a little for a modern audience.

Congratulations, Jack Calverley! You get all the points. In the absence of anyone stating opposition to the result, that's an uncontested 30 point spread (also unrestricted, since there were no other challengers), combined with implicit “3” votes from every one of the regulars who would have voted, had they not still been in a turkey-induced comatose state.

Slushpile Survival Guide

2011-12-01T09:00:00.086-06:00

Here it is, December 1st already, and as many of you have noticed, Stupefying Stories 1.3 is not being released today. We're running about a week behind schedule this month, and I will take full blame for that. (Memo to self: next year, don't even imagine you're going to get any useful work done while in a four-day turkey-induced tryptophan coma.)

Some interesting things to note: at the beginning of the month, we projected receiving about 200 new submissions this month. As of midnight last night, we'd actually logged in well over 300. (I don't have a final number yet.) This includes more than 100 received just in the last full week of the month alone.

The more submissions we receive, the more the ironclad truths of Sturgeon's Law and the 10-80-10 Rule are borne out. About ten percent of the submissions we receive are not even worth passing on to the first readers: either they're just plain so badly written you're left wondering what on Earth gave this person the delusion that he could write (and yes, almost invariably, the author in these cases is a "he"), or else the author can write, but apparently has significant reading comprehension problems. (Submission guidelines, people. Read the submission guidelines.)

The next eighty percent range from not bad, to okay, to pretty darn good. These get our full attention as we decide where they fit in the spectrum. Sometimes a merely not bad or okay story has the potential to be great, given one more rewrite, and as our time permits, we try to pass our thoughts back to the authors. But note that tricky expression: as our time permits. Much as we would love to send each and every story back with a detailed individual critique, there just plain isn't enough time to do so. Sorry.

It's the last ten percent -- the great-but-flawed to just plain great -- that make this job interesting. But even so, sometimes a story can be just plain great, and still not be right for us. You have to accept that making that final cut, to getting an acceptance letter and a publication contract, requires a certain je ne sais quoi composed of equal parts luck, hunch, and mood, and just because we reject a story doesn't mean it might not be perfect for the next market you submit it to.

I sent out thirty acceptances and contracts this week. Truth to tell, sending out acceptances is a lot more fun than sending out rejections.

Afterthought: As long as I'm fixing some tpyos in this morning's post, I may as well add this. The one-month turnaround time mentioned in our submission guidelines was based on an estimated 200 new submissions per month. Given the recent submissions landslide, we're running a bit behind that. If you're wondering what's happened to your story, it's okay to send a polite query, but the key word here is polite. Sending a surly or snotty query is a guaranteed proven way to get your story moved from "still thinking about it" to "reject it now!" status.

Hope this is useful to you. Will write more next week,
~brb

Ultimate Geek Fu: A Novel and the FOUR Movies (and various and sundry other stuff) Made From IT…

2011-11-30T04:00:00.004-06:00

Certainly it’s not a book that’s been made into a record number of movies – that would be 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea which has been screen-played ten times between 1916 and 2002. And no, it’s not Frankenstein, that’s only been done seven times between 1910 and 2004 (the REAL story that is – I’m not counting Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948) or I Was A Teenage Frankenstein (1957)).

I also recognize that my source site might be mistaken as it doesn’t list the correct number of one of my MOST favorite movies of all time: Invasion of the Body Snatchers. From Jack Finney’s (not a Nebula or Hugo winner, but not the worst book ever written, either) 1955 novel The Body Snatchers, Hollywood brought this story to the silver screen four times. In 1956, 1978, 1993 and 2007 this classic novel hit the theaters with varying responses.

Of the 1956 version: “In 1994, Invasion of the Body Snatchers was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant"”.

The 1978 version was hideous – despite the fact that Donald Sutherland and Leonard Nimoy starred in it. Really, really hideous and the only memorable moment is where Donald Sutherland becomes a pod person and walks and screams in a sorta-zombieoid-way. After I watched it once, I threw it away.

The production company and director chose to show the 1993 remake, titled The Body Snatchers (the same as the novel), at the Cannes Film Festival – where it was panned. It also received high praise from Roger Ebert who gave it four stars. Which just goes to show that movie reviews are simply personal opinion writ large. I didn’t like this version, either. They also didn’t mention that while it was certainly shown in the city of Cannes while the festival was taking place – it was shown practically in someone’s back yard…

The fourth version sank virtually without notice despite the star-drawing power of Nicole Kidman (whom I can only barely believe took the part of Carol Bennell) and has since become hard to find.

The only one worth remembering is the first black and white movie. Let me tell you why. It was without a doubt the most creepy film I have ever seen before or since because it made perfect use of Hitchcock’s and Romero’s penchant for understating horror so far that it becomes MORE horrible than the goriest, blood-spatteringest, slasherfest ever produced. Arguments: The Birds – a farmer with his eyes pecked out, slumped in the corner; Night of the Living Dead – the shadows at the foot of the basement stairs as the zombies attack one of the living…

In my humble opinion, it is because black-and-white film, coupled with understatement harkens back to the days of radio: it allows us to use our imaginations. While the remakes of Invasion of the Body Snatchers add blood, gore, sex and sound effects, nothing in them raises goosebumps like the sound of the fog horn/fire/earthquake/tornado/civil defense/air raid siren honking in the background as they flee the city (the scene depicted above).

While the strongest vehicle for imagination stimulation is reading a book (paper or e, I don’t care; reading is reading and requires the use of the mind to change words into pictures), if you’re going to deal with film, then black and white understatement makes for a better experience every time – it certainly did for me in Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Now as Bruce says: “Let the arguments begin!”

Image: http://nighthawknews.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/invasion4.jpg

Ruminations of an Old Goat

2011-11-28T07:00:00.004-06:00

I'm back after slightly more than a month. My wife's bone marrow transplant is going extremely well, so I'm trying to get back into the swing of things here at the Friday Challenge. Despite the early appearance that this column is about video games, it's actually about writing.

Despite being an Old Goat, I've been known to pick up a video game controller if a game looks particularly interesting to me. As a pencil and paper role playing gamer of long standing, I find myself drawn to video game RPGs when I've got a controller in my hands. The last video RPG I settled down to play was a science fiction epic called Mass Effect. Yes, that game is several years old now. What makes it worse is that I didn't get around to starting on Mass Effect 2, which has been out for about a year and a half, until Saturday morning. (The Boy, of course, has long since played the game through to completion.) I'm not going to go into any descriptions of game play or the story line, so those of you uninterested in video games have nothing to fear. I am going to discuss a couple of scenes as a way of introducing my topic.

The first game ends with the main character, Shepherd, having saved the civilized galaxy. For most of that game, Shepherd and his team flew about the galaxy in a prototype starship called the Normandy. The second game begins with the destruction of the Normandy. Only a few scenes into the game, Shepherd is put in command of the new Normandy. It's this scene which suggested the topic of this column.

When Shepherd is shown to the new Normandy, the game music swells, the game camera pans around the ship, and the player is left with no doubt at all that this is supposed to an emotional scene. There's only one problem; it's not an emotional scene. There was no stirring in my breast, no faster beating heart, no goosebumps. I just wanted to scene to hurry up and end so the story could move. That started me thinking about why the scene failed to stir any emotion besides boredom.

First and foremost, I felt no emotional connection to the original Normandy. It was a neat ship and I certainly wouldn't mind having a little model of it to add my collection of desktop starships at work, but the ship was nothing more than a means of transportation within the game world to me. The reason for that is because the first Mass Effect game did not contain anything to make me think otherwise of the ship. The original game did a good job of building a bond with other characters in the story, but none of those characters acted toward the ship as if it was anything other than a big machine used to get from point A to point B. Since there was no emotion in my breast to stir, the swelling music and camera pans about the new Normandy merely took up game time.

Second, even if I had some emotional connection to the original Normandy, the replacement ship followed too closely on the heels of the loss of the original. There was no time to "mourn" the loss of a beloved ship. There had actually not even been a need to have a star ship available prior to the introduction of the new Normandy. At the very least, the hero needs to suffer some from the loss of the original before the replacement is made available. Yet in Mass Effect 2 the new Normandy was introduced just as the hero was about to head out on his first mission.

If you want an example of how to handle the loss of a thing properly, you need only look as far as Star Trek III: The Search For Spock. Obviously, by the time that movie was released, Star Trek fans had already developed a love of the U.S.S. Enterprise. That love was developed because of the devotion the characters had for the ship. It was common knowledge that Kirk was "married" to his ship. Scotty would get into fights if someone insulted his ship. It was obvious the Enterprise was more than just a means of transportation to the characters. That's why the destruction of the Enterprise in Star Trek III held an emotional impact for the viewers. Something they cared about was gone forever and it stirred emotions within them.

After losing the Enterprise, Kirk and company had to make do with a Klingon Bird of Prey for the rest of the movie and for all of the following movie. There was uncertainty as to how the Klingon ship would handle time travel and whether it could go fast enough to return to the 22nd century while also carrying a pair of whales. The crew suffered physically during both trips in time. In other words, they met the requirement to suffer as a result of the loss of the Enterprise. Finally, at the end of Star Trek IV, the crew rode in a space shuttle toward their new ship. A large, new ship loomed before them, leading the audience and the characters to believe this was the ship. Then the shuttle swept past the large ship and the new Enterprise came into view. Across two movies, the audience shared in the feeling of loss and rebirth for Enterprise.

Star Trek is hardly the only science fiction series to engender feelings for a starship. George Lucas found out just how much Star Wars fans loved the Millennium Falcon when he ran his first audience test for Return of the Jedi. In the original, Lando and the Falcon did not escape the destruction of the second Death Star and the test audience was not pleased. The response was so negative that the movie was changed so the Falcon just managed to get clear. While I'm sure viewers wanted Lando to survive, I'm sure they wanted the Falcon to survive even more. Joss Whedon did an even better job with the ship Serenity in the TV show Firefly and then in the movie Serenity.

The point of all of this is to help you avoid the mistake made in the video game. The lesson is that your readers (or viewers, or players) must have an emotional connection to the person or thing lost before the return of the person or item can have an emotional impact on them. That kind of connection takes time to develop. Then it takes time for the loss to sink in for the characters and audience. Only after the characters and audience have connected and suffered can they react emotionally to the return.

And the winner is...

2011-11-27T19:00:00.000-06:00

... going to be announced sometime tomorrow! (Still waiting on the official judge's report, and I'm about to crash for the night.)

Okay, realistically we all know that Jack Calverley won. His was the only valid entry, after all... but lest we forget why we are doing this: The Friday Challenge isn't necessarily about winning, or losing, or even how your own entry scores in relation to all the others (when there are others, that is). The Friday Challenge is about helping you to become a better writer, and hone your craft, and learn to give and receive criticism so that you will be better prepared to boldly send your work into the world.

Even on the occasions when someone wins by default, there are still lessons to be learned... for you, for the individual brave enough to enter the challenge, and yes, even for those of us entrusted with keys to the madhouse.

If you have not yet weighed in, please take a moment and read Jack's entry. Tell us how you think he did with “The First Age of Steame,” in our Where There's a Will challenge.

Open Mic Saturday

2011-11-26T07:00:00.001-06:00

The Friday Challenge — 11/25/2011

2011-11-25T12:21:00.002-06:00

This week in The Friday Challenge:

Anne McCaffrey has gone between. Dragons the world over are keening. • Join the discussion...

The Drink Tank celebrates a milestone, with a contribution from one of our own. • Join the discussion...

Kersley Fitzgerald asks whether holidays are organic, relevant, undercooked, or well done. • Join the discussion...

Jack Calverley wins our Limbo! (a.k.a., "How Low Can You Go?") challenge, by being the last man standing. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as the Tetrarchy gives thanks for your participation, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.

Where There's a Will...

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:

“The First Age of Steame” by Jack Calverley

Yes, we are in the midst of our annual holiday slump, and participation is a little lower right now. We're looking at it as a way to catch our breath.

An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and a winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 27 November 2011.

The Tellurian Shower

And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, courtesy of Jack Calverley:

We are always being told, “show, don't tell.” Well, now is your opportunity to show “show, don't tell.”

This week's challenge is to write a single scene, in two radically different ways: one telling, and one showing.

The two versions of the scene, taken together, should add up to no more than 2000 words, but the length of each version of the scene is entirely up to you. (e.g., You may show your scene in one sentence and tell it in fifty... or show it in fifty and tell it in one.)

Anyone can enter, except for Jack Calverley. You may enter as many times as you wish, but each entry must be independent of the others, and you may not build on anyone else's work.

Everyone is asked to vote, and to say a few words about what they liked, and why. Or to say a few words about what they disliked, as the case may be; by submitting an entry, you implicitly agree to accept criticism, because there will probably be some handed out, and no one is immune. When voting, please rank a work as either “0” (not so good), “1” (not as bad), “2” (could have been better) or “3” (pretty good stuff!). If you give either a “0” or “3” vote, feel free to argue in support of your reasoning.

Don't like the negativity? Feel free to think of the levels as “0” (Not bad for a first attempt), “1” (Right on!), “2” (Holy cow, I wanna buy this now...) or “3” (Sweet mother of God, how did you write something this awesome?!!). The point is to clearly differentiate, and rank according to your own preference.

For the purposes of this challenge, Jack Calverley will be serving as Ye Olde High Marker, Voluntarily Walking th' Plank.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 2 December 2011. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 4 December 2011.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Deadline Reminder

2011-11-24T13:05:00.000-06:00

Tomorrow morning's Friday Challenge will be a few hours later than usual, due to holiday preparations. (Celebrating Thanksgiving with family... which means you have a few extra hours to work on your iambic pentameter. Heck, with all that extra time you could even look up what iambic pentameter means, or amuse yourselves by faking it, while you stand in those unpleasant Black Friday queues... assuming anyone here is ~~foolish~~ brave enough to face the crowds.)

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — Where There's a Will... — is 11:59 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 25 November 2011... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 27 November 2011.

Critical Thinking

2011-11-24T06:00:00.002-06:00

First off, you're supposed to be spending time with your friends and family. What are you doing here?

Oh. It's Friday? And you're avoiding the crowds? Fair enough.

As I write this on Wednesday night, listening to Maj Tom and the Creature playing Wii, my thoughts turn to the obscene amount of food we will ingest tomorrow. Which makes me think about holidays. And holidays in novels.

The most immediate that comes to mind is the titular event of the Hunger Games Trilogy—probably because I just finished it, for the second time, yesterday. The series is centered on an annual "game" wherein two children from each district are taken to an arena and left until only one remains alive. "The Capital" hosts the event, calling it punishment for a revolution that occurred seventy-four years prior. It's a combination of Big Brother and gladiator fights, if an eleven-year-old girl can be considered a gladiator.

Anne McCaffrey used social events quite a bit in the Pern books. Gathers are periodic open-air markets where people can meet and sell and buy. When a clutch of dragon eggs are set to hatch, dignitaries are flown in from around the world to watch. The commission of a new lord is also a social affair. All of these events are great plot tools. People who don't normally interact are thrust together. Characters have the opportunity to spy and sneak in new places. Deals can be made and broken, and carry the plot along nicely.

JRR Tolkien was a bit more traditional. Bilbo Baggins's birthday is an elaborate affair that serves to reintroduce Gandalf and allow Bilbo to disappear. Similarly, the children in CS Lewis's The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe receive their gifts from Father Christmas.

I think holidays in stories, whether made up or traditional, need two essential elements: they must be organic to the culture and relevant to the plot. Gathers are essential to the social structure of Pern because the relatively small population is held hostage by the thread of thread—silvery ribbons that fall from another planet and eat all living things they came in contact with. Hatchings are a genuine celebration because more dragons mean the planet is better able to fight thread. The hunger games are directly linked to the culture as a way for the Capital to continue to suppress the districts. Of course, the games are also relevant to the plot because the story is that of a girl who goes through the games.

I'm not sure about Bilbo's birthday. It certainly covers several points, including Gandalf's arrival, Bilbo's vanity, and the Hobbits' penchant for celebration, but do those points deserve the weight of the huge birthday celebration? It's possibly justified by the fact that the LOTR is such a saga, which gives it more permission to go off on tangents. Santa in TLTWTW is less weighty and yet more relevant to the story. The points of Santa's coming are to show the witch's hold on the weather is slipping and grant the kids' their necessary weapons—weapons they would use throughout several books. But the scene is short and remains in the context of their flight from the witch.

How about you? What comes to mind when you think of celebrations and holidays in novels? Who has done it well? Who hasn't? How would you change it?

For more, check out the video here.

And Happy Thanksgiving!

Ultimate Geek Fu

2011-11-23T08:00:00.007-06:00

Today's scheduled Ultimate Geek Fu has been preempted by the sad news of the passing of Anne McCaffrey. If you want a UGF question to debate: what's your favorite Anne McCaffrey novel or story, and why?

Comments are being taken on this thread: .

Loss

2011-11-22T16:49:00.000-06:00

Anne McCaffrey has gone between. Dragons the world over are keening.

The Drink Tank #300

2011-11-22T00:00:00.000-06:00

Christopher J Garcia and I met in Reno, barely an hour or so after The Drink Tank won the 2011 Hugo Award for Best Fanzine. Within moments of running into each other, Chris was telling me about his plans for issue #300... and invited me to contribute, if I had anything "fannish" to offer.

Less than twenty-four hours later, on the flight home, I wrote most of "When the Pupil Is Ready," which was, this evening, included as #250 (pp. 183-184) in the special issue. Congratulations to a remarkable fanzine, on a remarkable milestone! Thank you for allowing me to be involved.

Visit the page on eFanzines.com, or click here to read the latest issue of The Drink Tank (#300):

And the winner is...

2011-11-20T20:41:00.001-06:00

In a traditional limbo contest, you keep lowering the bar until only one person can shimmy under it, without falling over or bumping the bar. In a non-traditional limbo contest, you start with a bottle of baby oil, a fifth of tequila, and... uh, never mind.

If ~~any of~~ you are able to take a second look at your own work, and see ways in which to improve a concept so that it can be more successfully developed, the effort will be worthwhile.

Those of you who vote are allowed to assign a range of “0” to “3” points, per entry. Since challengers may not vote for their own stories, a bonus of 2 points is given to a participant's highest-ranked work, if that participant also takes the time to numerically vote on the other entries.

Official judges receive a 30 point allocation, to assign as they see fit. The only restriction is that at most, only half of those points may be given to any single entry (unless there is only one entry, in which case the silly restriction is lifted!), and there is no requirement for a judge to use the entire 30 point allocation.

J.M. Perkins is about to put on the “Editor Hat.” It's sort of like the “Sorting Hat” they use at Hogwarts (“In the first draft, I was written as a set of ‘Sorting Earmuffs.’”), but a little less sarcastic.

Limbo! (a.k.a., "How Low Can You Go?")

“First Novel, First Chapter (First Section)” by Jack Calverley

J.M. Perkins: Jack, thank you so much for participating: you get all the points! I know it can feel like a hollow victory when nobody else participates; but you've obviously put a lot of effort and thought into reworking your First chapter. You've obviously improved, and what I think is most interesting is how your process has changed in the _ years since you first wrote these words: ie your use of a synopsis and the change in tense.

xdpaul: 1 / Jack Calverley: thanked xdpaul for feedback!
J.M. Perkins: 30
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 33

Wrap-up...

“There can be only one.” That would make a good movie quote, wouldn't it? Only one entered, so that one won, but the victory is no less deserving of recognition simply because everyone else was slacking off:

1st Place: 33 points — First Novel, First Chapter (First Section)” by Jack Calverley

Congratulations, Jack Calverley! As a recent winner, you have the option of proposing next week's challenge, scheduled to be announced the morning of Friday, 25 November 2011, or of offering a chance to wear the “Editor Hat” to a challenger of your choice.

Afterword...

So what was the lesson of this challenge?

J.M. Perkins: I find, that while I had an awesome imagination for world and critical technologies/magical elements back in the day, I didn't really understand character; probably still don't. I can revisit the world the spun about in my young head, but I can't bring myself to retell the same old stories “peopled” with person shaped facsimiles pushed around by the needs of the plot I'd cobbled together to show off whatever “gee whiz” element I wanted to demo.

Which brings me to my next point: without knowing it, I kinda, sorta, maybe made an impossible challenge. Because we are not merely better writers (hopefully), we are better story tellers and so rewriting one section alone misses the point. Or — barring any sense of improvement — we are different writers, different story tellers. Some common threads remain but I — at least — am not telling the stories I used to tell. Improvement in the nuts and bolts of prose is well and good, but the bigger question is how we approach character, pacing and the thousands telling details to inspire empathy and concern in readers for the shit we make up.

Open Mic Saturday

2011-11-19T07:00:00.000-06:00

The Friday Challenge — 11/18/2011

2011-11-18T07:00:00.000-06:00

This week in The Friday Challenge:

Bruce Bethke continues the “Slushpile Survival Guide,” and guess what? There really are reasons for all those submission guidelines (especially Rule 86!). • Join the discussion...

Bruce Bethke presents 2011: The Year in ReFu, which is, by all accounts, a long-established tradition in these parts. Really, it is. Take our word for it. • Join the discussion...

Somebody forgets to post any other content this week! We're not pointing any fingers... but you know that article you said you were writing? You're welcome. • ~~Join the discussion...~~

Tyler Tork wins our Ambrosia Manna Gruel challenge, by picking pomegranates to pieces. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as between Sadie Hawkins Day and National Adoption Day lots of single fellahs find themselves family men, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.

Limbo! (a.k.a., "How Low Can You Go?")

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:

“First Novel, First Chapter (First Section)” by Jack Calverley

An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and a winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 13 November 2011.

Where There's a Will...

And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, courtesy of Tyler Tork:

If you ask people to name a great writer, you're likely to hear one name a lot: William Shakespeare. Old Bill did a lot of cool stuff, and he was very versatile. Comedy, tragedy, nihilism — oh wait, that was some other guy. But anyway, one thing a lot of his work has in common is that it was written in iambic pentameter, generally unrhymed. Your challenge for this week is to emulate Mr. S. and write a scene of some dialogue in iambic pentameter. Include stage directions and brief descriptions of the characters if you like, but there should be at least 400 words of actual dialogue. Make us laugh, make us cry, make us wonder — whatever — but do it in the classic meter. Rhyme or not, as you choose and as suits your theme.

Anyone can enter, except for Tyler Tork. You may enter as many times as you wish, but each entry must be independent of the others, and you may not build on anyone else's work.

Everyone is asked to vote, and to say a few words about what they liked, and why. Or to say a few words about what they disliked, as the case may be; by submitting an entry, you implicitly agree to accept criticism, because there will probably be some handed out, and no one is immune. When voting, please rank a work as either “0” (not so good), “1” (not as bad), “2” (could have been better) or “3” (pretty good stuff!). If you give either a “0” or “3” vote, feel free to argue in support of your reasoning.

Don't like the negativity? Feel free to think of the levels as “0” (Not bad for a first attempt), “1” (Right on!), “2” (Holy cow, I wanna buy this now...) or “3” (Sweet mother of God, how did you write something this awesome?!!). The point is to clearly differentiate, and rank according to your own preference.

For the purposes of this challenge, Tyler Tork will be serving as Ye Olde High Marker, Voluntarily Walking th' Plank.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 25 November 2011. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 27 November 2011.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Deadline Reminder

2011-11-17T07:00:00.000-06:00

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — Limbo! (a.k.a., "How Low Can You Go?") — is 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 18 November 2011... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 6 AM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 20 November 2011.

Ultimate Geek Fu

2011-11-16T07:00:00.201-06:00

My goodness, look at the calendar. Only 40 shopping days left until Hanuramakwanzmas, and you know what that means. Yes, it's time once again* for 2011: The Year in ReFu!

* At least, it would be again, if we'd remembered to do it last year.

Meaning that today, and for the next few Wednesdays, we're going to be revisiting Great Moments in Geek Fulery from the year now rapidly drawing to a close, with an eye towards helping you pick out those great gifts that will look so wonderful when wrapped in the traditional Tyvek and burlap and placed under your family's Hanuramakwanzmas pencil cactus, and when given and opened will warm the little atrial chambers of your favorite Geek's heart!

Today's list: MOVIES! And the nominees are:

Top 5 Sci-Fi/Superhero Movies of 2011
1. Captain America. It's exciting! It's fun! It's patriotic, in a safely distant way! It's full of sly little cross-references to Iron Man, Thor, and a whole lot of other obscure bits of the Marvel universe (the Howlin' Commandos and Dr. Phineas Horton's Synthetic Man, anyone?), and evidence that Marvel is currently in the process of building a sprawling multi-generational saga the likes of which George Lucas can only dream of creating. Buy it today!

2. Battle: Los Angeles. It's everything Independence Day and the Tom Cruise version of War of the Worlds aspired and failed to be. It's a great modern-day sci-fi alien invasion splat-'em-up with real heart and soul, and none of the insubordination and "relationship issues" nonsense that Hollywood always seems to think belongs in a military movie. If you're looking for an example of good, taut, tight, action/adventure storytelling, this is the movie to watch and study. Plus, a whole lot of #$*& blows up, and best of all: no Will Smith!

3. Um.... Uh... Er..... Did I say five? I meant two. The Top 2 Sci-Fi/Superhero Movies of 2011! (What, you want to nominate Cowboys & Aliens? Why not Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid, while you're at it?)

Most Disappointing Sci-Fi/Superhero Movie of 2011
Oh, this is a toughie, but I'll have to go with Green Lantern. To be disappointing a movie must engender some hope that it might be good, first, but I never had any hope that Super 8 would do anything but suck and as soon as I saw that The Green Hornet starred Seth Rogen, I knew it was a write-off. Any other nominees?

Most Truly 21st Century Sci-Fi/Superhero Movie Actor
Hands down, the winner must be Andy Serkis, who follows up his starring roles as Gollum in The Lord of the Rings and the eponymous big ape in King Kong with his remarkable performance as Caesar in Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Except, when you're not actually on-camera yourself, but rather are providing the physical motion-capture modeling for a CGI creature, is it acting, or puppetry, or stunt work, or... just what the heck is it?

Whatever it is, it's terrific, and just as soon as they get the skin texture and "dead eyes" issues solved, we can expect to begin seeing CGI Angelina Jolie and the rest of her ilk to live on in movies for centuries to come. Scary thought, innit?

Most Ignored Movie of 2011
I dunno. The Adjustment Bureau? Apollo 18? I have no idea; I ignored them. Did anyone else go see any of these movies?

Most Trepidation
That would have to be reserved for The Adventures of Tintin, which is slated for a U.S. release in late December. I mean, just look at the cast: Daniel Craig. Jamie Bell. Andy Serkis (not an ape, this time). Simon Pegg. Nick Frost. Cary Elwes. It should be great.

But then, look at the director. If anyone can take Tintin, suck every last bit of life and fun out of the original material, and turn it into a painful, plodding, overwrought, overblown, and epic botch, it's... Oh, I can't even say it.

Anyway, those are my picks. How about you?

Let the arguments begin!

The Slushpile Survival Guide

2011-11-15T16:00:00.012-06:00

Continued from last week...

Something I've begun to notice, as I read the something-hundredth cover letter, is just how many of them end with some variation on, "I hope you enjoy my story!"

Allow me to let you in on a little secret. You don't hope we enjoy your story even half as much as we hope we enjoy it.

This is not school, or even your writing group. We don't read stories to find nits to pick, reasons to dock you points, or excuses to write rejections. We read stories to find ones we want to accept for publication, and begin reading each new submission with the hope that this story is going to be one that's so good that by the time we finish it, we'll be champing at the bit to share it with the world.

So why do most stories end up being rejected?

To some extent it's a numbers game. In any given month we receive about 200 submissions and can publish about 10, so of necessity some pretty aggressive winnowing must take place. However, there are also a number of fudge factors and inventory level issues that come into play, which I don't feel like explaining now, but suffice to say your story must rank in the top quintile to have a realistic chance of being accepted.

Lest you feel daunted, though, remember that this also is a dynamic and competitive ranking, and after you take a good look at the competition, you'll see that making it into the top quintile is not nearly as difficult as the raw numbers might suggest.

Here's why.

The first point of failure for many writers comes either from not reading the submission guidelines or else from imagining they don't apply to you. Believe it or not, publishers do not post submission guidelines just to be officious prigs. We really are trying to give you the information you need in order to help you decide, before you send the submission, whether this is really the right place to be sending this particular story.

So if a publisher's guidelines state something like, say, "Absolutely no coprophagia stories," it very likely means they don't publish coprophagia stories, and not that they simply have not yet known the joy of reading your brilliant paean to the pleasures of coprophagia. I mean, do you really think that Catholic Digest is the right place to send your paranormal erotica story that features an explicit sex scene in which a vampire priest sodomizes an acolyte with a lit altar candle?

Apparently about ten-percent of aspiring authors do, because that's roughly how many of our submissions get rejected on receipt for egregious violations of Rule 86. They don't even make it as far as the slushpile. Another ten-percent slip through the initial screening and get into the slushpile, but immediately trigger the gag reflex of the first person who pulls it out and actually begins reading it.

So that takes care of the lowest quintile.

The second point of failure usually becomes evident only after we have finished reading the submission and made the frustrating discovery that it wasn't actually a story. We see this most often with flash fiction, but have seen it in manuscripts up to 10,000 words in length. The material might be most of a story. It might even be the fascinating wreckage of a story. But a story, by definition, has an ending.

As an editor, one of the most frustrating things to see is a near-story that is simply brilliant for the first twenty pages, and then collapses into a puddle of formless goo in the last paragraphs before the author declares "The End" on page 21. As a reader, one of the most frustrating things to see is a story that stops abruptly in mid-air and leaves you asking, "Hey! Where's the rest of it?"

This is closely coupled to the third failure mode, in which the story actually is complete and does have an ending, but the ending consists of the author's suddenly upending a Gatorade bucket full of despair and nihilism on the reader's head.

Tragic endings are okay. Some of the most powerful stories in all literature have heart-rendingly tragic endings. But pointless tragedy is too much like the morning paper or the evening news, and it's not what people read fiction for. That weird Goth chick who edited your college's literary magazine may have really gotten off on reading bleak and gloomy stories that wallowed in the ugly existential meaninglessness of it all, but no one else does.

Remember, when you ask someone to read your fiction, you are asking them to give you something very precious: their time. Therefore you have an obligation to your readers to use their time well, and to bring your story to a conclusion that leaves them feeling the time they spent reading it was worthwhile. Of all the feelings it is possible to leave a reader with at the end of a story, the absolutely worst one is, "Well, there went an hour of my life that I'll never get back again."

Thus, taken together, the non-ending and the pointless and depressing ending knock off the next two quintiles. So what differentiates the top two quintiles, and separates the merely good from the really great?

Well, I need to have something to write about in the next column, don't I?

Hope this is useful to you. Will write more next week,
~brb

And the winner is...

2011-11-13T21:30:00.000-06:00

Some stories are savory. Some are sweet. And some? Well, those last few you probably wouldn't want to put in your mouth.

If any of you are able to take a second look at your own work, and see ways in which to improve a concept so that it can be more successfully developed, the effort will be worthwhile.

Those of you who vote are allowed to assign a range of “0” to “3” points, per entry. Since challengers may not vote for their own stories, a bonus of 2 points is given to a participant's highest-ranked work, if that participant also takes the time to numerically vote on the other entries.

Official judges receive a 30 point allocation, to assign as they see fit. The only restriction is that at most, only half of those points may be given to any single entry, and there is no requirement for a judge to use the entire 30 point allocation.

Jack Calverley is about to put on the “Editor Hat.” It's sort of like the “Sorting Hat” they use at Hogwarts (“What this one needs is a little paprika...”), but a little less sarcastic.

Ambrosia Manna Gruel

“70 Percent Monsters” by xdpaul

Jack Calverley: I think this is a great story. It has a consistent and individual narrative voice, and the story unfolds at a good pace. I am effortlessly drawn into the setting, with enough clues to “get it” but without any laboured descriptions. My interested is piqued by the intrigue around Mack — and who is not curious to know what happened to those who leave their home town and apparently “make it” in the big city? — it is schadenfreude waiting to happen. And ultimately, of course, the story is also the story of how it got written, which is a nice touch.

It is hard to pinpoint areas which might be improved by reworking. Thinking about the characters:

The protagonist has no prospects, he is a self-confessed loser and may be about to lose even his job. So why isn't he *really* keen to make some kind of story out of this, to find or even create an angle? OK, possibly, because he is a loser, and all his life has failed to do just that. And yet he has this sharp dry wit, which should come through in his journalism, and, like this story, be very readable. I suppose I'm worrying about why he is the loser he is, and why he is not more worried about his job; because, on the face of it, he comes across as normal and competent.

It wasn't clear to me why both the girl and Mack were so eager to explain what happened, even though their stories differed slightly, I presume they are both werewolves (or she's a werebear?), but would they not want to keep the truth hidden?

And what possessed the narrator to say “no way”? Aside from its being ill-advised at that moment, it also offered the chance of a big story that would make the front page (or electronic equivalent) and perhaps save his job and attract interest in the newspaper.

But these are minor quibbles because I felt the story had a momentum which kept it going to the end. Although, in the end, the story was one missed meal away (him) from being about food.

J.M. Perkins: 0 (but “Totally dug this story...”) / Tyler Tork: 2 / xdpaul: voted!
Jack Calverley: 9
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 13

“Cabbage Heads” by Tyler Tork

Jack Calverley: I think this is another great story. And a good title too, serving (as the story does) both a descriptive and metaphorical purpose. I am straight away in the valley with the main character. I think the names and titles are effective and provide information as well as atmosphere. I think the whole scheme of the story — of impetuous youth against the wisdom of experience (with, prima facie, not very good odds) — is an efficiently told allegory. I am drawn into the story and caught in the intrigue of how on earth the old man is going to win. I especially like the way I am shown, by the Witness casually picking apart the pomegranate, that she knows what is going to happen, that the outcome is sadly inevitable. And the last line brings the story to a neat conclusion.

Again, I am struggling to find aspects of the story of which to be critical, or, constructive in an alternate way. Just possibly, some tension might have been introduced early on, after the old man sees the visitors on the road, when perhaps he should worry more about getting back to the house before them so he can prepare properly; correct preparation contributes to keeping him alive.

And the story does of course, quite clearly pivot around food.

J.M. Perkins: 1.5 / Tyler Tork: voted! / xdpaul: 3
Jack Calverley: 12
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 18.5

“The Banquet” by J.M. Perkins

Jack Calverley: Another great story: the arriviste and his djinn. I thought this was well written and engaging. We have solid motivation in jealousy and revenge. I really like descriptions such as “brown grass crackling into ash”. I think the echo of Alice in Wonderland “Eat Me” is an interesting way to develop the story - possibly the food need not have been labeled nor Carroll mentioned, I think it would have been sufficient merely to show the effects as they occurred. In this respect, I would have liked to have seen more of what went on. Why did the guests go on their trips (if I may call them that)? Was it just to feel different, or were there other consequences. I would have liked to have seen this explored a little.

I like the fact that the djinn was a wedding gift and Brian was in fact mostly show. I do wonder whether, since the motivation of the djinn is key to the plot, there might have been some foreshadowing of the motivation right at the start of the story, so that the key to making the world right was always present.

Somehow, I did feel the story ended rather abruptly. I guess it means: happy ever after, but somehow I didn't feel satisfied. It is almost as if this were half the story and I needed to see what happens next, with the expectation that it is not going to go to plan (why trust the djinn?). I can't quite put my finger on why this is the case. The story in itself is complete. Perhaps if I had learned more about Ethan's thoughts, doubts and insights as he struggled with his decision to take the seed, then I might have felt that he had changed, grown or matured, by the mere fact of making the decision, and his life would be different the next time round. That, in a sense, he had earned it. And my seeing him earn it would occupy sufficient story real-estate to make his emotional journey strong and real and the taking of the seed would be a full stop to the decision process rather than showing me the decision itself.

J.M. Perkins: voted! / Tyler Tork: 1.5 / xdpaul: 2
Jack Calverley: 9
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 14.5

Wrap-up...

When all the scores were tallied, we wound up with the following tasteful ranking of our challengers:

3rd Place: 13 points — “70 Percent Monsters” by xdpaul

2nd Place: 14.5 points — “The Banquet” by J.M. Perkins

1st Place: 18.5 points — “Cabbage Heads” by Tyler Tork

Congratulations, Tyler Tork! As winner, you are hereby invited to propose next week's challenge, scheduled to be announced the morning of Friday, 18 November 2011.

Afterword...

So what was the lesson of this challenge?

Jack Calverley: I think the question of how stories develop is an interesting one. IMHO creativity is often inversely proportional to the constraints imposed on a narrator. In these terms a simple what-if? is a constraint, and perhaps asking for food to play a pivotal role in the plot is somewhat looser (and perhaps, on reflection, less helpful). I liked all the stories this week and thought they were all well written (ignoring any oddities/typos that might be mopped up if edited with a fresh eye in a few days' time). I find it difficult to score them absolutely, so my scoring is essentially a ranking, and for me the deciding factors became: the question of the challenge, balance in the plot/structure, and the relationship between the story and any themes. Although, just maybe, I am rationalising away gut reaction ;)

Open Mic Saturday

2011-11-12T07:00:00.001-06:00

The Friday Challenge — 11/11/2011

2011-11-11T07:00:00.004-06:00

This week in The Friday Challenge:

~~... will be posted a little later in the morning! Re-writing the time stream ain't like it used to be...~~

Bruce Bethke presents a second episode of the “Slushpile Survival Guide,” in which our hero learns to see in the dark. • Join the discussion...

Bruce Bethke assures us that sometimes it's more effective to fling strawberry jam at a window. • Join the discussion...

Kersley Fitzgerald commiserates over the plight of chaste elves. • Join the discussion...

J.M. Perkins wins our CTRL+ALT+DELDELDEL...∞ challenge, by being bewildering, powerless and alone. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as Veteran's Day reminds us that freedom isn't really free, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.

Ambrosia Manna Gruel

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:

An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and a winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 13 November 2011.

Limbo! (a.k.a., "How Low Can You Go?")

And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, courtesy of J.M. Perkins:

So here's my prompt for this week. Find a passage from your oldest and shittiest work you have access to (your first 16 year old short story, your first novel, that thing you wrote right after Jennie dumped you) and rewrite it. With luck, this will give everyone a sense of encouragement about just how far we've come as writers.

M: Sounds interesting, right? I did a little digging through my own files, in search of the most execrable prose ever vomited from my pen:

Sammy was a skunk. He was a good skunk but he stunk. He played in the road and a car almost ran over him but the driver said something smell's bad and turned the car. That is why it is good that skunks smell bad.

I've typed that exactly as it was written, thirty-one years ago, in blunt pencil upon faded construction paper.

Doing so left me feeling conflicted about the challenge. My head was filled with visions of Friday Challengers ransacking the refrigerator-magnet mementos of ages past, for victims.

But surely, the notion of rewriting a work to salvage it is noble, right?

Sammy was a skunk. He was a good skunk but he stunk...

All right, I could rewrite that. Spacefaring skunk-boy is saved from becoming a handful of strawberry jam, flung at the nearest window, when the careless driver of a flying car realizes methyl and butyl thiols shouldn't be detectable in the upper troposphere.

Maybe not.

But maybe you'll have better luck than I did?

Anyone can enter, except for J.M. Perkins. You may enter as many times as you wish, but each entry must be independent of the others, and you may not build on anyone else's work.

Everyone is asked to vote, and to say a few words about what they liked, and why. Or to say a few words about what they disliked, as the case may be; by submitting an entry, you implicitly agree to accept criticism, because there will probably be some handed out, and no one is immune. When voting, please rank a work as either “0” (not so good), “1” (not as bad), “2” (could have been better) or “3” (pretty good stuff!). If you give either a “0” or “3” vote, feel free to argue in support of your reasoning.

Don't like the negativity? Feel free to think of the levels as “0” (Not bad for a first attempt), “1” (Right on!), “2” (Holy cow, I wanna buy this now...) or “3” (Sweet mother of God, how did you write something this awesome?!!). The point is to clearly differentiate, and rank according to your own preference.

For the purposes of this challenge, J.M. Perkins will be serving as Ye Olde High Marker, Voluntarily Walking th' Plank.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 18 November 2011. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 20 November 2011.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Fitz of Distraction

2011-11-10T14:48:00.002-06:00

Kersley's sorry she's late. She got distracted. No, not making owls.

Drawing baby krakens.

Deadline Reminder

2011-11-10T07:00:00.000-06:00

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — Ambrosia Manna Gruel — is 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 11 November 2011... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 6 AM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 13 November 2011.

Ultimate Geek Fu

2011-11-09T08:30:00.140-06:00

What, it's Wednesday morning already and no one has posted an Ultimate Geek Fu?

All right then, here's a quickie. The weekend before last, on a hunch, we rented and watched Attack the Block, and loved all 88 minutes of it. Here's why.

Attack the Block is a low-budget British sci-fi/action/horror/comedy thing that came out a few months ago and pretty much sank without a ripple, which is a shame. It's exciting. It's fun. It's a movie with all the brio of a 1950s sci-fi drive-in scarer brought up to 21st century standards, without all the self-referential winks and smirks that contemporary screenwriters can't seem to resist throwing in, and without an insane amount of money being spent on redoing in CGI effects that worked better with models and puppets. It's proof that sometimes the most effective special effect is just to have a character step out of view of the camera, scream once, and then fling a handful of strawberry jam at the window.

Or to put it another way: if you were disappointed by the latest remake of The Thing, you'll love Attack the Block.

In terms of science fiction plotting, there's nothing terribly new and original about this one. Murderous alien invaders land in South London on Guy Fawkes night, the incessant fireworks neatly providing cover for their landing and initial depredations. A bunch of teenagers are the only ones who see the landing and recognize the threat, but no one will believe them, so they decide it's up to them to defend their block—their housing project, in American terms—from the invasion. From there the action unfolds in a variety of clever but not wildly original ways, until it reaches a very satisfying conclusion.

This film is definitely not for everyone. These teens aren't your standard American rebels-with-hearts-of-gold, and they definitely aren't the Cosby Kids; they're housing project thugs, who we first meet as they're mugging the woman who turns out to be the female lead. The language, when you can understand it, is relentlessly foul. (Most of the characters speak a sort of South London ghetto patois that is only technically English. We watched about half the film with the subtitles switched on.) There are a lot of drug references and drug humor, the drug users and dealers quite naturally being the only ones who are equipped, emotionally and materially, to deal with hostile aliens. There is a lot of violence, although by American standards, there was only one one-second flashed image that was actually graphic.

But if you can get past all that, and accept the idea that sometimes it might take a bunch of (mostly) black housing-project kids to save the world, it's a fast-paced and fun film with a good heart, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

How about you? Are there any overlooked films from the past few months that you would recommend going out of your way to find?

Let the arguments begin.

The Slushpile Survival Guide

2011-11-08T08:00:00.149-06:00

Continued from last week...

One more thing I want to add to last week's column on file format, and I really can't believe I have to say this: but after you've written your story; after you've poured your heart and soul out onto the page; after you have (it is devoutly to be wished) proofread and polished your words to the shining pinnacle of perfection; after you have written the perfect obsequious and ingratiating cover letter; as you are poised at the very moment of submission, with your virtual finger hovering over the virtual Send button—

Take one more look, to make certain your manuscript file is attached to your cover letter, before you hit Send.

Hard to believe, I know, but roughly every other day we receive a cover letter without an attached submission. It is true that we editors have incredible powers, bordering on the superhuman, but even we can't read and comment on a story that you haven't actually sent.

Today, I'd like to take a minute or two to talk about point of view. Not in the traditional writing group sense of, "Is it better to use first-person or third-person?," or anything like that. As far as that goes, I say, go ahead: use whichever point of view you think works for the way you want to tell your story. Heck, tell it all in second-person future tense, if you think that works best for this story and believe you can pull it off.

But once you pick a point of view, use it consistently.

Again, no, not in the writing group sense of "Never shift point of view." Third-person limited, alternating point of view, can work. Even alternating first-person and third-person can work. And sometimes, a sudden dramatic shift to a different point of view is the only way to really carry the ending off with impact.

But in the moments when you are seeing the story unfold from a given character's perspective, really think about what that character can actually see and hear in that moment.

Your point of view character is stumbling through a pitch-black cave, his torch has gone out, and suddenly he feels a deadly Brown Recluse spider crawling up the back of his neck? Whoa, wait. It's pitch-black. How can he possibly know what species it is? How can he even be certain it's a spider?

We see this sort of thing often. Characters routinely see things with the naked eye that they couldn't possibly see without a telescope, a microscope, night-vision gear, or high-speed slow-motion photography. Conversations revealing key plot points take place after the point-of-view character has left the room. Characters have information that they could not possibly have, given where they were and what they could see and hear at the time the event in question took place.

It's a cinematic story-telling technique, and you can get away with it, in a script. When it comes to movies and TV programs, we are all used to the idea of being that all-seeing invisible giant eyeball that's floating around the set, looking into whatever seems interesting at the moment. In fact, when filmmakers try to shoot from the first-person point of view, it's an obtrusive effect that really calls attention to itself and is tolerable only in small doses.

But our brains process stories presented in images differently from stories presented in written words, and in print, it's these superhuman flashes of momentary omniscience that become obtrusive and pull the reader out of the story. And whatever other effects you may be trying to achieve with your writing, one thing you don't want to do is to make the reader stop reading, step back from the story, and ask, "Huh? What the heck is [author name] trying to pull, here?"

Hope this is useful to you. Will write more next week,
~brb

And the winner is...

2011-11-06T19:00:00.000-06:00

What would your life be like if you woke up and learned there was no such thing as The Friday Challenge, and never had been? Now there's a scary notion...

If any of you are able to take a second look at your own work, and see ways in which to improve a concept so that it can be more successfully developed, the effort will be worthwhile.

Those of you who vote are allowed to assign a range of “0” to “3” points, per entry. Since challengers may not vote for their own stories, a bonus of 2 points is given to a participant's highest-ranked work, if that participant also takes the time to numerically vote on the other entries.

Official judges receive a 30 point allocation, to assign as they see fit. The only restriction is that at most, only half of those points may be given to any single entry, and there is no requirement for a judge to use the entire 30 point allocation.

Arisia is about to put on the “Editor Hat.” It's sort of like the “Sorting Hat” they use at Hogwarts (“Don't tell me there's no such thing as magic! I remember magic.”), but a little less sarcastic.

Arisia: Having pondered on these stories for almost two days, I am still having trouble figuring out how to allot my points. Both are potential candidates for the SSS (Stupefying Stories slushpile).

CTRL+ALT+DELDELDEL...∞

“The Blink of the Quantum Eye” by Jack Calverley

Arisia: Jack's story is the thought-provoking kind, written in a classic, British style reminiscent of 1984 and other "What are we doing to ourselves?" novels. It makes the reader take a hard look at society, ethics, and human motivation. There are enough bits of humor sprinkled in to keep us from ending up totally depressed. I found myself thinking of the Judge Dredd movie. That had similar unexpected and humorous consequences of life being suddenly different.

It seemed a little long for a short story. It could become a novella, or it could benefit from cutting some out. It could also benefit from more excitement. There was too much mundane and not enough adventure.

Jack Calverley: voted! / J.M. Perkins: 3
Arisia: 14
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 19

“Untitled” by J.M. Perkins

Arisia: John's story is more the emotion-provoking kind. The reader is pulled into feeling the characters' bewilderment, aloneness, powerlessness, and hopelessness. It is a study in experiencing loss. The ending is very good, and also unusual, in that it just accepts loss and lets go. Most SF stories are about triumphing over whatever is happening.

The attempts at explaining what was going on were distracting to me. They seemed a little far fetched or unrelated to believe. If you were trying to depict denial, then it was not quite clear enough.

Jack Calverley: 3 / J.M. Perkins: voted! / miko: (tilted!)
Arisia: 15
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 20

Wrap-up...

In a beautifully choreographed display of memory and loss, our challengers emerge as follows:

2nd Place: 19 points — “The Blink of the Quantum Eye” by Jack Calverley

1st Place: 20 points — “Untitled” by J.M. Perkins

Congratulations, J.M. Perkins! As winner, you are hereby invited to propose next week's challenge, scheduled to be announced the morning of Friday, 11 November 2011.

Afterword...

So what was the lesson of this challenge?

Arisia: In the end, I assigned points based on my reaction as a reader. I was more engaged in John's story. Slightly more. But both did a good job at creating a fascinatingly different universe and showing possible reactions to it.

Open Mic Saturday

2011-11-05T09:00:00.003-05:00

The Friday Challenge — 11/04/2011

2011-11-04T07:00:00.006-05:00

This week in The Friday Challenge:

The November issue of STUPEFYING STORIES is revealed, and then released! • Buy it at Amazon (MOBI) or Barnes & Noble (ePub) (Other stores coming soon!)

Bruce Bethke presents the first installment of our “Slushpile Survival Guide.” • Join the discussion...

Daniel Eness expresses admiration for flying monkeys and rubber-suited monsters. • Join the discussion...

Kersley Fitzgerald skips NaNoWriMo to make owls. • Join the discussion...

Realms of Fantasy closes its eyes, perchance to dream. • Join the discussion...

Jack Calverley wins The Third Annual (whaaaaaat??!) Halloween Story Challenge challenge, with the mother of all submissions. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as M harvests his annual crop of pumpkin seeds, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.

CTRL+ALT+DELDELDEL...∞

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:

“The Blink of the Quantum Eye” by Jack Calverley
“Untitled” by J.M. Perkins
(Note: This one was posted in DOCX format. Normally we prefer DOC, RTF or TXT, since DOCX occasionally causes problems for some challengers.)

An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and a winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 6 November 2011.

Ambrosia Manna Gruel

And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, courtesy of Jack Calverley:

This week's challenge: to write a story where some aspect of the production, preparation, consumption or anything else of food plays a pivotal role in the plot. The story may be mythic, historic, futuristic, fantasy or anything else so long as it is not set in present day reality.

I suggest at least 500 words but no upper limit other than bearing in mind that if it is headed for the 5000 word mark, unless truly compelling, fewer people may read it and offer feedback and a score.

Anyone can enter, except for Jack Calverley. You may enter as many times as you wish, but each entry must be independent of the others, and you may not build on anyone else's work.

Everyone is asked to vote, and to say a few words about what they liked, and why. Or to say a few words about what they disliked, as the case may be; by submitting an entry, you implicitly agree to accept criticism, because there will probably be some handed out, and no one is immune. When voting, please rank a work as either “0” (not so good), “1” (not as bad), “2” (could have been better) or “3” (pretty good stuff!). If you give either a “0” or “3” vote, feel free to argue in support of your reasoning.

Don't like the negativity? Feel free to think of the levels as “0” (Not bad for a first attempt), “1” (Right on!), “2” (Holy cow, I wanna buy this now...) or “3” (Sweet mother of God, how did you write something this awesome?!!). The point is to clearly differentiate, and rank according to your own preference.

For the purposes of this challenge, Jack Calverley will be serving as Ye Olde High Marker, Voluntarily Walking th' Plank.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 11 November 2011. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 13 November 2011.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Another one bites the dust...

2011-11-03T08:00:00.012-05:00

Big, beautiful, award-winning magazine Realms of Fantasy announced yesterday that they're ending the show and striking the tents. Read all about it.

This, following the shutdown of Weird Tales last month, means either we've picked exactly the right time to launch STUPEFYING STORIES or else we're out of our frickin' gourds. I sure hope it's the former.

Deadline Reminder

2011-11-03T07:00:00.000-05:00

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — CTRL+ALT+DELDELDEL...∞ — is 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 4 November 2011... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 6 AM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 6 November 2011.

Critical Thinking

2011-11-03T06:00:00.001-05:00

Kersley Fitzgerald

It is November in Colorado. Maj. Tom (USAF, Ret.) is another year older. The weather in Colorado can't decide if it's going to snow or be seventy degrees. Or both. And I, once again, inexplicably, have my craft on. This year, the theme is steampunk. So far it's three purses, two coatracks made out of plumbing connections, and an abstract owl.

What's different about this November is I am determined to skip NaNoWriMo. Too, too busy. In part, reading the amazing submissions that come in to Stupefying Stories. And, in another part, making owls out of discarded hardware. (I have no idea why. It seemed a good idea at the time.)

When our fearless leader posted his proposed line-up for this month, I blinked hard and thought to myself, "Another one? On time? What's gotten into us?" Then I took one look at the titles and declared it more bipolar than the Colorado weather. For every funny, often irreverent story, there's another quiet contemplation about life and what we're willing to do to protect it. When I brought this up, he was quick to point out that he had deliberately given a sampling from men and women. Looking at the stories again, I realized that of the stories I had read, the tone parted exactly down gender lines. Is the Mars/Venus thing true? Are our natures polar opposites? You'll have to decide after you read this month's edition.

I do know that Sarah Frost's "Borrowed Feathers" blew me away the first time I read it. The imagery was so clear that I could see everything the main character experienced. "The King of Ash and Bones," by Rebecca Roland, is similarly poignant. And it was obvious to me from reading "The Bamboo Garden" that Clare Deming knows little kids.

In the blue corner, Aaron Starr's "First Impressions" left me laughing out loud. And our own Henry Vogel's "Watch This!" made me homesick. I grew up with these guys! (Yes, Oregon has rednecks, too!)

For now, I leave you to November. To shortening days, turkey sandwiches, and long nights of plumping up that NaNo word count. But, as the Christmas holidays approach, I also leave you with one thought:

Wouldn't a year's worth of short stories make an excellent stocking stuffer?

IT'S ALIVE!

2011-11-02T08:41:00.002-05:00

The November STUPEFYING STORIES hits the Kindle store.

Ultimate Geek Fu

2011-11-02T07:00:00.002-05:00

The late 1800s/early 1900s gave birth to a number of science-fiction special effects that are worth noting.

Reverse Motion was used to frightening effect in the creation of Frankenstein's monster in 1910s Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. Contrary to the more popular conception of Universal's lightning-strike laboratory, in the original movie, the monster is a result of strange alchemy. The body self-constructs from a vat of dust through Viktor's arcane arts.

At around the 3 minute mark, the monster takes shape .

That same year, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz premiered.

Of note: although it was a silent film it was based on the 1902 stage musical of the same name, which was, of course, based on the Baum book. You may notice that the famous arm-in-arm "skipping" dance between Dorothy and her friends did not originate in the now more famous MGM musical from the 1930s, but in its silent predecessor (and, before that I would bet, in the earlier stage adaptation.)

I like two of the three special effects employed in this version: the flying witch and monkeys use stage rigging, but are done at such speed over a short space (and duration) that my eye falls for it better than the now elaborate flight scenes from films like Harry Potter.

The second one is the use of actors in costumes to portray live animals. In contrast to the flying bits, this is completely and obviously unbelievable to the eye, but, in terms of f/x being used to advance characters, it works. This now completely discarded art reached its height (or depth, depending on your aesthetic) with the "rubber suit monster movies" like Godzilla.

Even as a six-year-old in a dark matinee, I could tell that Godzilla was a dude stomping on a toy set, but also knew that I cared about the "fakey-looking" characters more than I would ever care about their latter-day, better designed, "more realistic" counterparts.

The third effect in Oz which was crummy, even for the primitive film standards before The War, was its stop-camera "disappearance" effect, so the less said about that, the better.

What's one (or two or three or eight) of your favorite sci-fi special effects, and how has its use changed (or not) over time?

More importantly, is that change a good thing, or bad?

Let the arguments begin.

The Slushpile Survival Guide

2011-11-01T07:00:00.295-05:00

Welcome to the first installment in what promises to be a very long series. Eventually this feature will take up permanent residence on the STUPEFYING STORIES web site, when we find enough free time to develop that site, but for now, it works just as well here.

The object of this feature is to pass on some of the lessons we're learning as we slog through the vast and trackless midden that is the STUPEFYING STORIES slushpile. With luck, you might learn something here that you can apply immediately, to help your story rise above the common lithic debitage.

And so, without further ado...

Today, I want to talk about file formats. Not manuscript format—although, while we don't insist on it, it certainly doesn't hurt to become familiar William Shunn's guide to Proper Manuscript Format. But today, let's concentrate on the actual electronic file that you will use to send your story to a publisher, assuming the publisher accepts electronic submissions.

As to which tool to use to write your story, the answer is, unfortunately, very simple: Microsoft Word, or something that produces Word-compatible files. Love it or hate it (and for me, personally, "hate" doesn't begin to describe how I feel about it), Word is the current de facto standard, and the most universally readable and editable file format is the Word .doc format—or as Microsoft now calls it, "Word 97-2003 Document" format.

Depending on which version of Word you use, you may need to use the "Save as" option on the File menu in order to save your file in this format, as more recent versions of Word default to the .docx format, which is somewhat problematic.

For a time, we thought Rich Text Format (.rtf) might be a better choice than .doc, as it's technically somewhat more portable, but that's turned out to be an illusion. Rich Text Format files do work very nicely when they arrive intact, but some bizarre interaction between certain email client programs and our email server makes that intact arrival uncertain. In particular, we've noticed that .rtf files sent from Hotmail accounts always—always—get turned into something that looks like this:

{\rtf1\adeflang1025\ansi\ansicpg1252\uc1\adeff0\deff0\stshfdbch0\stshfloch37\stshfhich37\stshfbi37\deflang1033\deflangfe1033\themelang1033\themelangfe0\themelangcs0{\fonttbl{\f0\fbidi \froman\fcharset0\fprq2{\*\panose 02020603050405020304}Times New Roman;}{\f34\fbidi \froman\fcharset0\fprq2{\*\panose 02040503050406030204}Cambria Math;} {\f37\fbidi \fswiss\fcharset0\fprq2{\*\panose 020f0502020204030204}Calibri;}{\f38\fbidi \fswiss\fcharset0\fprq2{\*\panose 020b0604030504040204}Tahoma;}{\flomajor\f31500\fbidi \froman\fcharset0\fprq2{\*\panose 02020603050405020304}Times New Roman;}

Remarkably, we can make sense of these files. But it's not fun.

Secondly, make sure you have a good anti-virus program installed on your working computer, and keep it up to date and run virus scans religiously. If you can, make certain you scan your .doc file before you send it. There is no kiss of death more instantly fatal to your submission than sending the publisher a file that is infected with a virus, or one of the old malignant Word macros that is still floating around out there. Yes, this has already happened to us. More than once.

Third—and I can't believe I actually have to say this—at the very least, make certain your name and email address are in the actual document file you send. Stories frequently get separated from the cover letters that accompany them, and sometimes cover letters get lost. If we lose your email address, we have no way to contact you regarding your submission, short of hoping we get lucky with a Google search on your name. But if we don't even have a name on the manuscript—and yes, I do have one pathetic orphaned manuscript sitting here that I would like to send back to its proper home, if only I knew who to send it back to...

Finally, we know that everyone has their own preferences and work habits, but it really helps to give your file a unique and descriptive name. Giving it the same name as the title of the story is a good start. Giving it some combination of your name and the key words from the story title is better; for example:

Scribbler-Night of the Iguanadon.doc

Giving your story file a name that clearly means something terribly clever to you but nothing at all to anyone else (e.g., badadoop.doc) is a mistake, but not the worst one. We actually have received stories in files named newstory.docx.

Conclusion: The slushpile is a fearsome and ugly place, filled with stories fighting tooth and claw to be noticed. STUPEFYING STORIES does not even rise to the level of being a second-tier market, and yet on average we receive six new submissions daily, seven days a week. In a typical month we can at best publish ten of those stories. Do the math.

But after you've done the math, don't despair. Because the truth is, most of what distinguishes the top 10-percent of submissions from the rest is just a matter of learning and applying some very simple things, and the more I dig through the slushpile, the more clearly I see just how simple these things are.

Okay, I've got to get back to shoveling now. Will write more next week,
~brb

And the winner is, part deux...

2011-10-31T11:00:00.001-05:00

They're creepy and they're kooky, mysterious and... well, some are more "ooky" than others, but this is Halloween!

If any of you are able to take a second look at your own work, and see ways in which to improve a concept so that it can be more successfully developed, the effort will be worthwhile.

Those of you who vote are allowed to assign a range of “0” to “3” points, per entry. Since challengers may not vote for their own stories, a bonus of 2 points is given to a participant's highest-ranked work, if that participant also takes the time to numerically vote on the other entries.

Official judges receive a 30 point allocation, to assign as they see fit. The only restriction is that at most, only half of those points may be given to any single entry, and there is no requirement for a judge to use the entire 30 point allocation.

Arvid Macenion is about to put on the “Editor Hat.” It's sort of like the “Sorting Hat” they use at Hogwarts (“Brainnnns... are not easily found among Hufflepuffs, are they?”), but a little less sarcastic.

Arvid Macenion: I've always wanted to have a Halloween story challenge, as I joined last summer and the 2010 Halloween challenge was preempted by other concerns. I've always appreciated the Halloween Holiday, the night of ghouls and candy. I was sad when, at the tender age of 15 I was informed that I might be getting old for it. The smiles and the candy are put aside, for the contemplation of the dark evils that exist beyond the reach of light. Sometimes I wish I could go back to those days of carefree ghouling, when Halloween nights meant candy and fun.

My Friend-and-rival Carmine has often said of me that its not that I want to know What lies beyond the dark mask, its that I want to know that something IS. It's the unknown that I feel prickling my neck hairs; its the unidentifiable mutterings hanging just in my hearing. Goblins and Boggarts, Werewolves, and Vampires, Demons and Devils I can fight. Its the darkness itself I cannot strike. So I set this challenge to see what it was to see what IS behind these tales... you, authors of The Friday Challenge. And you did not disappoint...

The Third Annual (whaaaaaat??!) Halloween Story Challenge

“Our Favorite Holiday” by Larian

Arvid Macenion: Oooh... a very tastefully done story of horrific Halloween intrigue. Mature it may have been, but I thought it carefully described to the point where I wouldn't call it X-rated. There may have been a few spelling errors or the like but I could see the story for what it was. I have often wondered what the daily life of the oft-depicted Halloween horrors would be, and whether they only existed on the day or whether it was merely a fun holiday for them as it is for us humans. I do agree however that the specific naming of their species at the end was probably unnecessary, although I myself didn't see the Rex reference until it was mentioned by another commenter. I also like the interplay between the three when it came to the reaction to our protagonist's father and mother; makes me want to know more about how their species' society functions. Overall a delightful tale; twisted and sensual without necessarily being dark.

Arisia: 0 / Jack Calverley: 3 / miko: +- / Tyler Tork: 1.5
Arvid Macenion: 7
Total: 11.5+-

“Legal Recourse” by Tyler Tork

Arvid Macenion: Heh... precedents. Its good to see that some still follow the older ways. I liked the protagonist although, naturally I expect, I still don't know exactly who or what he is. I was expecting a spook but his closing line made that unlikely. An old man, knowledgeable of the old laws, forced to live beside a family of religious yuppies. Rough. A great story, from an interesting perspective. I just hope that Reese's are considered Treats so that no children will mark my house.

Arisia: 2 / Jack Calverley: 2 / miko: ++ / Tyler Tork: voted!
Arvid Macenion: 6
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 12++

“A Holiday for Howard” by miko

Arvid Macenion: A touching tale of the season. I feel for Howard. For so many sickness or injury is a glancing blow; either you get better and reach levels at or near your previous experience, or the damage is too extensive and you die. But for those who fall into that valley in-between, life can become a chore, a matter of endurance. The story was touching and heartfelt, well versed and everything I expect from you Miko. Love it.

Arisia: 1.5 / Jack Calverley: 1 / miko: voted! / Tyler Tork: 2
Arvid Macenion: 5
Participation bonus: +-
Total: 9.5+-

“Reunion” by Vidad

Arvid Macenion: The Life of an Avenger is such a hollow thing. It can fester below the surface leaving not a ripple on the surface until the moment comes. The revenge may be a seething pit of fire, consuming everything, or it can by a tiny flame, never forgotten long enough to go out, steadily burning up everything else inside the shell over years and years. Poor Daniel. I loved the structure, the development and how you demonstrated the progression of his disease. However, I don't really see any Halloween in this story. I may just be missing it, but after several read-throughs, I'm afraid that if it is present, it is simply nor prominent enough.

Arisia: 2.5 / Jack Calverley: 1 / miko: +- / Tyler Tork: 2
Arvid Macenion: 4
Total: 9.5+-

“The Road to Odinmorden” by Jack Calverley

Arvid Macenion: A change and a challenge she wanted, and never did she think what a challenge might mean. Her mother's apparition was right; be careful what you wish for. Because a challenge is not a challenge without the potential to lose. This story really had the Halloween, "deep dark places" vibe to it, and I really liked how the truth behind the dark grey backdrop is never truly revealed. Haunting, scary, and with just that edge of the beyond to it. If the skitter upon the roof was not so deft in catching itself from rolling off the edge, she might not have made it as far as she did.

Arisia: 2 / Jack Calverley: voted! / miko: +- / Tyler Tork: 2.5
Arvid Macenion: 8
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 14.5+-

Wrap-up...

This week's winner skitters into first place, with a runner-up in hot pursuit:

2nd Place: 12++ points — “Legal Recourse” by Tyler Tork

1st Place: 14.5+- points — “The Road to Odinmorden” by Jack Calverley

Congratulations, Jack Calverley! As winner, you are hereby invited to propose next week's challenge, scheduled to be announced the morning of Friday, 4 November 2011.

Afterword...

So what was the lesson of this challenge?

Arvid Macenion: Halloween season has always been somewhat of an enigma to me. Perhaps because of the duality of how it is seen by children and then adults. Perhaps its because it has become the focus for all the darkness we can conceive of. Who is to know? The stories this week certainly brought forward many different viewpoints. Halloween is many things to many people. So perhaps knowing Who is behind the darkness is just as useful as What is in the darkness...

And the winner is...

2011-10-30T22:25:00.004-05:00

... going to be announced as soon as I have Arvid's official analysis in hand. In the interval, any of our challengers, visitors or regular participants who have not yet taken the opportunity to offer their own feedback and votes are encouraged to do so.

We should know more by mid-day(-ish) tomorrow.

But to hold you over, how about a sneak-peek at something neat?

Open Mic Saturday

2011-10-29T07:00:00.001-05:00

The Friday Challenge — 10/28/2011

2011-10-28T08:00:00.002-05:00

This week in The Friday Challenge:

Kersley Fitzgerald shows how a submission can stand out from the rest in our STUPEFYING STORIES slushpile. • Join the discussion...

Guy Stewart finally gets a Lexus. • Join the discussion...

Allan Davis puts a serious dent in his daily word count, just by talking about how he's going to maintain a daily word count. • Join the discussion...

Bruce Bethke says we've gone mainstream. • Join the discussion...

Arisia wins our Zero (point?) challenge, by maintaining a tightly focused, consistent POV! • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as xdpaul enjoys a happy “National Mole Day”, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.

The Third Annual (whaaaaaat??!) Halloween Story Challenge

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:

An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and a winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 30 October 2011.

CTRL+ALT+DELDELDEL...∞

And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, courtesy of Arisia:

What if you woke up tomorrow and found that an important part of your life had never existed? You could remember it, but no one else could. What would you do? (Or, what would your main character do?)

For example, what if you remember that yesterday you were a jeweler with your own jewelry design business, but today there's no such thing as jewels or jewelry. No diamonds, no gold bracelets, not even wedding rings. Would you try to introduce the concept of jewelry into your world—try to convince people that digging up a chunk of rock and hanging it on a string around their neck is really cool? Or would you adjust and go with what does exist—get into the booming business of designing modesty gourds? Or maybe you would give lectures on how everyone had been brainwashed. That choice might get you put into a psych ward. If they still exist.

Anyone can enter, except for Arisia. You may enter as many times as you wish, but each entry must be independent of the others, and you may not build on anyone else's work.

Everyone is asked to vote, and to say a few words about what they liked, and why. Or to say a few words about what they disliked, as the case may be; by submitting an entry, you implicitly agree to accept criticism, because there will probably be some handed out, and no one is immune. When voting, please rank a work as either “0” (not so good), “1” (not as bad), “2” (could have been better) or “3” (pretty good stuff!). If you give either a “0” or “3” vote, feel free to argue in support of your reasoning.

Don't like the negativity? Feel free to think of the levels as “0” (Not bad for a first attempt), “1” (Right on!), “2” (Holy cow, I wanna buy this now...) or “3” (Sweet mother of God, how did you write something this awesome?!!). The point is to clearly differentiate, and rank according to your own preference.

For the purposes of this challenge, Arisia will be serving as Ye Olde High Marker, Voluntarily Walking th' Plank.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 4 November 2011. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 6 November 2011.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Deadline Reminder

2011-10-27T07:00:00.001-05:00

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — The Third Annual (whaaaaaat??!) Halloween Story Challenge — is 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 28 October 2011... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 6 AM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 30 October 2011.

Critical Thinking

2011-10-27T06:00:00.001-05:00

Kersley Fitzgerald

I recommended a Stupefying Stories submission the other day.

Not because it was good. I mean, it was okay. Needed some editing. Okay, quite a bit of editing. But I approved it because it was a story. And after reading twelve manuscripts filled with telling, back-story, and ambiguous endings, a mere 3000 words with a beginning, middle, and resolution filled me with joy.

When I ask writer-friends to submit a story, of course the first words out of their mouths are "What are you looking for." Well, folks, here's what I'm looking for. And bear in mind that this whole thing is so subjective. All of us have different criteria based on our own interests and backgrounds.

Story. Not a message—although the story can contain a message. Not the summary of a novella. Not a detailed background of the setting and characters. A story. One of those things with a beginning that sets the stage and gets me interested, a middle that adds intriguing details along the way, and an end that wraps things up in a relatively logical fashion. It's amazing how few of the entries we've seen fit this criteria.

Resolution. ~brb gets on me for my short endings, so I say this with admitted chagrin. A resolution is an ending that is relevant to the plotline. It may reveal something that is important to the characters or it may be a logical outcome of the plot. It does not have to tie up every single loose end. In fact, the story may be more interesting if it doesn't. But it should bring the scene to a credible close. A resolution is not an abrupt ending mid-scene, a completely out-of-character twist, or a vague fade-away. It's okay to leave the reader wanting more, but not so okay to leave the reader completely confused or unfulfilled.

Empathy. I would like to care about the characters. I know this is a classic plot-based/character-based writer issue, but if all the characters are certified pickle heads or vile and nasty or just boring, I'm not going to care about the plot. And if they just are vile, hopefully they can at least be funny.

Depth. I don't mind short little tales that have a cute surprise ending. We have a surprise-ending story coming up, possibly in the next issue. It's really cute. And although I had an inkling of the resolution, I didn't get what was really happening until it was revealed. But only slightly less irritating than the story with no end is the story whose end is obvious too early on—if the surprise ending is the point. If the ending is obvious, as in Marc's "Don't Eat the Piano Player" (Hmm…it sounds as if something is trying to eat a piano player…), that's fine as long as the story is compelling by its own right (which his is, of course). In fact, for the most part, I'd prefer a deep, interesting story to one that ends in a one-liner.

Taste. Here is where the SS crew varies widely. I was able to look past the giant, quivering…uh…thingy…to see the sweet story of a man who's afraid to be a first-time dad. The lads weren't. I don't like stories about demons; they're fine with it. Bear in mind that Vidad is front and center in this whole process, so there is definitely room for creativity. And we're all good little Americans who have no problem with violence that is appropriate to the plot. But none of us were able to stomach what that one character did with a driving glove. *shiver*

Deliberateness. I am all for breaking the rules if it's intentional. What I don't like is sloppiness. I am a long-time fan of Douglas Adams, and I can usually understand what the Monty Python guys are saying, so I'm all about random and absurd. But those characteristics should be deliberate. Submitted work should be gone over with a fine-toothed comb, washed, blow-dried, and then gone over again. Contradictions in an absurd story are funny. Contradictions in a straight story are annoying.

Narrative. These are short stories. In general, back-story, info-dumps, and flashbacks should be kept to a minimum. Of course, some background information is necessary, but there's a great chance for creativity, here. No characters standing in front of a mirror describing themselves (is their appearance really that important?), no detailed information on things that aren't relevant, and no boring conversations that are obviously just an excuse to lay down a lot of information that could be better relayed in a more entertaining manner. If you're trying to pad the word-count to earn more money, you're probably submitting to the wrong anthology!

Having said all that, there is a time to throw all the guidelines to the four winds and see what happens. We have a story coming up that's quiet, confusing, out-of-sequence, and terribly lacking in emotional closure. It's also brilliant. When done well, these types of stories really shine. But it's like the chocolate mousse at the end of the meal—really rich and often emotionally draining. There's even more need for a big, meaty, juicy steak-of-a-story that makes you sit back at the end of the reading, satisfied. That's the type of story I'm really looking for.

As the wife of a marketing major, Kersley wants to know: what do you want to see in a short story?

Ultimate Geek Fu

2011-10-26T08:00:00.018-05:00

As we continue to wrangle about genres, sub-genres, micro-genres, and so on and so on, ad infinitum, a simple but powerful idea keeps coming to me. One of the problems with writing genre fiction in general, and fantastic fiction is particular, is the extraordinarily permeable nature of the boundary that separates the genre from the mainstream. If the tropes, conventions, conceits, idioms, vocabulary, etc. of the genre are successful enough, they invariably become mainstream.

So that's today's Ultimate Geek Fu question. What's your favorite example of a science fiction, fantasy, horror, or other SF/F genre idiom that was clearly SF/F, say, ten or twenty years ago, but is centered squarely in the middle of popular culture today?

Let the arguments begin.

World Enough, and Time

2011-10-25T10:11:00.000-05:00

Yes, it's that time of year again...that time when we all reach up over our heads, yank the zipper cartoon-character style, and tear away the masks we use to hide who we really are from the rest of the world. Time to quit pretending we are anything other than who and what we are, and display it proudly.

No, I'm not talking about Halloween, or your local midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. I'm talking about Nano.

Yes, it is I, your favorite ~~serial perennial glutton-for-punishment masochist~~ Nano participant, dropping in to touch bases and see who else is up for the ~~fun-filled form of self-flagellation~~ writing challenge to end all writing challenges.

Nano is short for NanoWriMo, and NanoWriMo...um...I'm feeling some serious deja vu here. Hold on. Grab your coffee, take a deep breath, and spend a few moments to review the original Glutton for Punishment Nano intro, here.

Oh, wow, you actually came back?

I have tried my hand at Nano every year since 2005, and every year, I have come up short. Most of those years, my total word count is somewhere under ten thousand; my worst year I think I barely made it to 2500 total. My best year? Two years ago. That year, I came a mere five thousand words from reaching the goal, but more importantly, I actually reached the end of my story.

Most years, I have no idea what the story is about until it starts flowing out of my fingertips and into the keys. Okay, okay, maybe "flowing" isn't the right word; it's more like a slow drip, smearing the keyboard with a light coating of prose, as opposed to hosing out with enough force to blast the keyboard off the desk. I generally start with a line or two of general info and a semi-solid mental image of my lead character.

This year, my subconscious mind is clearly getting geared up for Nano. I have had six or seven dreams over the last three weeks that interrelate. I've got a strangely clear picture of what I'm going to write. Well...strangely clear for me, anyway. I know my story involves Lovecraftian beasties, a lost book of black magic, a man with multiple personalities, his therapist, and Shroedinger's Cat. Oh, and the destruction of the world. Of course.

Every year, during Nano, I snag a few favorite scenes from my past Nano attempts and plop them onto my blog.

The Zombie Wrangler

Dragon Nightmare

Undying

Tangler 2

Tangler 1

While other people might consider this a form of showing off--as in, "here, everyone check out some writing I'm really proud of!"--that's not it at all. It's meant more as a slap in my own face. "Look, you cranked out something THIS cool two years ago. Stop whining at yourself about lack of time, lack of sleep, dead cars, horrible jobs, idiot employers, and that six hour drive home in a blizzard, and get back to writing!"

Surely I'm not the only glutton for punishment in the room. No doubt there are others out there, others like me, who also feel ready for the coming writing challenge...?

Actually, I'm not sure there is such a thing as "ready for Nano." Getting ready is more like spasmodically strapping on a crash helmet while desperatly hunting for seat belts that don't exist while forward momentum rapidly approaches 88 miles an hour with the flux capacitor glowing menacingly behind you...

Who else is--like me--deluding themselves into believing they are actually "ready" for Nano...? What are you planning on writing this year, and what are your strategies for heroically facing Otogu and keeping the demon at bay for as many minutes as necessary to reach that fifty-thousand word finish line...?

Please feel free to connect with me on www.nanowrimo.org; my username there is AlDavis.

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Allan Davis is a writer, photographer, and programmer hailing from the rocky windswept crags of lower Nebraskaland. In his copious spare time, he manages to read half a page of a novel or squeeze out seventeen or eighteen words on his latest work-in-progress...wait...what did "copious" mean again...?

WRITING STUFF FOR BIG AND LITTLE KIDS 6: FIRST PRO-SALE TO “THE LEXUS OF CHILDREN’S MAGAZINES” – “Mystery On Space Station Courage”

2011-10-24T04:22:00.001-05:00

In these articles (about once a month on the third or fourth Monday), I’ll be sharing with you what I’ve learned in the past fifteen years from first trying to get short stories and articles published in the non-adult market to publishing pretty much whenever I submit a short story, article or essay to a non-adult market. I’m going to do this chronologically so that those of you who are beginning your journey can learn what I did as I did. This will also tend to make me more coherent as I cast back to those first days – and I won’t make assumptions about what I did and didn’t know…

This sale was perhaps my first real brush with the wisdom of remaining persistent in sending out manuscripts.

It was also my first serious attempt at writing SF for children – unfortunately one I haven’t managed to repeat, so there’s probably a lesson there or something.

First of all, the appellation above “The Lexus of Children’s Magazines” was coined by Marianne Carus, founder and executive editor of the CRICKET Magazine Group. That was in response to a comment I made in a letter to the then editor of CRICKET Magazine, Deborah Vetter. She’s not in that position any more, replaced by Lonnie Plecha (whom I hear speak at a recent Minnesota SCBWI Conference). The appellation is completely true when I factor in the notion that the Group pays $ 0.25 PER WORD.

I’d written “Mystery On Space Station Courage” for HIGHLIGHTS FOR CHILDREN Magazine after brainstorming on a torn sheet of paper I still have down in the paper file for this story. It involved an communication antenna on a space station that has a maintenance compartment underneath it. That was it. The original idea was boring. So I added some excitement and a condition.

A worker gets trapped, his oxygen is running out and the compartment is shielded against stray radiation. He starts banging on the nearest bulkhead in Morse Code (everyone in the station learns it in case of malfunctions)..

Still traumatized by the death of her father, Candace Mooney – all full of attitude and grief – is confined to quarters by her frustrated and equally hurting mother. She is also grounded from the ship’s “internet”. When she hears the banging, she has to do a 911 call to get her mother’s attention. The astronaut is rescued and she and her mother have a chance to do some healing.

Needless to say, the story wasn’t THIS brilliant when it first arrived on Ms. Vetter’s desk. Working with her through a re-write and a subsequent “editing for house style”, the story was published two YEARS later (two more stories later, I came to realize that this is SOP with CRICKET).

This was not my first attempt at writing SF for young people. Checking my files, I see that it was my eleventh attempt with one other published piece called “Test” (see previous entry at http://thefridaychallenge.blogspot.com/2011/05/first-semi-pro-test.html). I did know that CRICKET was the golden ring of writers. I tilted for it and hit it on my fifth try. After that, while I haven’t batted anywhere near 1000, I get a personal rejection almost every time I submit and am rejected by the Group. I have a piece there right now and another will be on its way, soon.

What I Learned #6: “I KNOW we all know this but this is another anecdotal story to encourage you to KEEP SENDING THINGS OUT TO THE TOP MARKETS! You have to break that ceiling someday!” (Law of Averages and all that, you know: “In illustration of the law of averages…as the number of trials increases, the percentage of successes approaches the expected percentage of successes while the difference between the observed and expected number of successes increases.”)

image: http://www.palmbeach.k12.fl.us/congressms/GAAjazz/what.bmp