Ultimate Geek Fu

 
24!

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Okay folks, a simple one this week. The new season of 24 has begun. Did you catch the two-hour premiere last Sunday? What did you think of it?

For my money the series has not merely jumped the shark, it's jumped the shark while performing a flawless triple salchow and a toe loop. I've watched 24 with fannish dedication for years, but last Sunday evening Otogu called, and I was happy to answer. I think I cleaned the bathroom instead.

SFX:      cell phone rings, Jack answers.
BAUER:    Bauer.
BUCHANAN: Jack, this is Bill. What's your ETA?
BAUER:    Damned if I know. I'm still stuck on in
          a traffic jam on highway 5.
          (off mike) C'MON DAMMIT, MOVE!

As to why this is in Ultimate Geek Fu: let's face it. Jack Bauer is a superhero, and probably close kin to Frank Castle. He never eats, he never sleeps, he never misses when he shoots, he never catches a quick nap or even yawns, he takes abuse and wounds no human could tolerate and bounces back an hour later, he never has to go to the bathroom; and the most amazing thing to anyone who's ever lived in Los Angeles, he never once gets stuck in traffic.

SFX:      cell phone rings,  Jack answers.
BAUER:    Bauer.
CHLOE:    Jack, this is Chloe. Where are you?
BAUER:    Stuck in the drive-through at the Del Taco 
          on Pico. I dunno, I think they had to go
          kill a cow or something.

Worse, in the last season he contracted "fast-acting weaponized prion disease", and then—of course—received the cure with scant minutes to spare. Which for me, at least, blew away the last thin scrim of whatever meager verisimilitude the show may once have possessed.

SFX:      cell phone rings,  Jack answers.
BAUER:    Bauer.
BUCHANAN: Jack, this is Bill. Where are you?
          We need you!
BAUER:    FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, BILL, I'M JUST
          DOWN THE HALL, IN THE CAN! EVEN *I*
          HAVE TO TAKE A DUMP *SOMETIME*!

So that's today's topic: Jack Bauer and the new season 24, or if you haven't watched it, 24 in general. Good, bad, ugly, or fugly?

Let the arguments begin.

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ULTIMAGE GEEK FU runs every Wednesday. Have a question that's just bugging the heck out of you about Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate, Battlestar Gallactica, Farscape, Firefly, Fringe, Heroes, The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Smallville, The X-Files, X-Men, The Man From Atlantis, or pretty much any other SF-flavored media property? Send it to slushpile@thefridaychallenge.com with the subject line, "Geek Fu," and we'll stuff it in the queue.