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Thursday, January 19, 2012

Critical Thinking

Inconsequential things

I was perusing the children's section of the ol' B&N the other day, waiting for the Creature to realize he is 10 and therefore legally allowed to read novels with fewer than one picture per page, when a book caught my eye--Wildwood. I think I noticed it because the illustration looks a bit like Edward Gorey. So I opened the cover and read:

Prue McKeel’s life is ordinary. At least until her baby brother is abducted by a murder of crows. And then things get really weird.

Kidnapped by crows is good.

Then I read:

You see, on every map of Portland, Oregon, there is a big splotch of green on the edge of the city labeled “I.W.” This stands for “Impassable Wilderness.” No one’s ever gone in—or at least returned to tell of it...

Serious? Portland? Impassable Wilderness? That could only mean Forest Park, across the river from where I grew up!

So I flipped to the map section. There it all is--Forest Park, the Arboretum (all renamed). But also the railroad bridge? Wait, is that St. Johns? Nobody knows St. Johns. Look more closely.

The protagonist's house is literally four blocks from my childhood home. The library she frequents is my library. The "Park" is the playground of my grade school.

So I did what I had to do. I went home and bought it on my Kindle.

Writing isn't the greatest, but who cares?! It's a very singular experience to read a book and know exactly where everything is. Has that every happened to you?

Dear Stupefying Stories contributors,

If I have to read one more story with the plot "nerd meets beautiful woman; nerd and woman make passionate love; woman turns into a monster that kills/enslaves/sucks the life force out of man," it had darn well be the most brilliantly written story every written. There are other venues for such stories. But I think you have to change the first line to, "I never thought something like this would happen to me..."

Your Slushie

In other news, SyFy channel has a new show out. It's called Lost Girl. It's about a woman who discovers she's Fae. Then she discovers she's a Succubus. Explains why every time she has an "encounter," the guy winds up dead. Really? Really?


How cool is that?
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