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Saturday, December 31, 2011

Open Mic Saturday

Good morning all, and welcome to Open Mic Saturday. This is the place to share your news and perhaps do a little bragging. If you're writing a novel: how much progress did you make this week? If you're writing short stories: did you finish anything or submit anything this week? If you've sold or published anything recently, when is it coming out and where can we find it? In short, as a writer, what kind of progress did you make this week?

Or what else is on your mind, that you feel like sharing with the group here?



Update 9:00 CST, by brb: With all due respect to M, this being the last post of the year and all, it seems to call for something a bit more dramatic than the usual Saturday "Open Mic" call. It's a day that calls for reflection; for taking stock; for looking ahead. What are your thoughts about the year now ending? What are your hopes for the year to come?

Me, I'd like to take a moment now to shout a big "THANK YOU!" to M, Henry, Kersley, Vidad, and Arisia, for going far above and beyond the obligations of mere friendship, for keeping the Friday Challenge going while my attention has been focused elsewhere, and for midwifing the birth of STUPEFYING STORIES. It's been a challenging year—especially for Henry and his family—but with three books loose in the world and a fourth about to be released, I think you will agree, we've accomplished something pretty cool here, and we have done it together. I'd never have made it beyond the daydreaming stage without you. THANK YOU.

Next, I'd like to express a moment of thanks that we live in the 21st Century, where things like Positron emission tomography are daily working realities and not merely visions of what might be. Thanks to a half-century of slow and steady scientific research and the efforts of doctors, nurses, and medical technicians too numerous to name, my wife and I now have a future to look forward to together. Whatever your other doubts and complaints about the 21st Century may be—yes, Henry, we all know, you still want your flying car—it is a marvelous time to be alive, and miracles do still happen.

As for my hopes for 2012: I'll just come back to what I call STUPEFYING STORIES 1.4 and everyone else is calling the January issue.* The crew has really come together, the contents have really come together, and we're on the home stretch to releasing it soon. As I look at it and everything that's in the queue behind it, I can't help but feel very optimistic about 2012. Upward and onward! Per aspera ad astra!

Here's hoping all of you are looking forward to a bigger, brighter, and better New Year!

Kind regards,
Bruce Bethke

* P.S. To clear up any confusion, since we've now published four volumes of STUPEFYING STORIES, one in 2010 and three in the last quarter of 2011, and since we pay actual cash money to contributors, STUPEFYING STORIES can now be considered a Semiprozine. I don't see this as making a difference in our operations or philosophy, but apparently this is a distinction of great significance to people who think about categories and awards, and I certainly wouldn't object to adding a few more of the latter to my collection.

Friday, December 30, 2011

The Friday Challenge — 12/30/2011

This week in The Friday Challenge:

The January issue of STUPEFYING STORIES is moving along at full steam, for a first-week-of-the-year launch! What? So soon after our December release? Yessssss, my precious...

Bruce Bethke gives folks a free teaser, because he's just swell that way. Keep your eyes peeled for the forthcoming Rampant Loon Press collection, Will Write for Food: Twenty Years of Short Stories by Bruce Bethke. • Join the discussion...

Bruce Bethke doesn't have much to say fills a page with quibbles about Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows. • Join the discussion...

The Holidays interrupt our normal judging schedule, but the results for our “And now, for the next century and a half...” challenge will still be posted in the next few days, once the merry-making settles down a bit. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as the fifteen days of Christmahanukwanzakastivus span Make Up Your Mind Day, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.


“And now, for the next century and a half...”

As a reminder, the following entries are under consideration for our previous challenge:

If you have not yet left feedback for this “Thunderdome: Christmas Edition” challenge, there's no time like the unopened present.


Higglety Pigglety Pop!

As of this morning, we have received the following entry entries for our current challenge:

Since we are, as the challenge stated, “in the midst of the most wonderfully hectic time of the year,” this isn't a terribly surprising turn of events. Rather than treat Tom's entry as a sole contender Tom and Tyler's entries as the only contenders, we are extending Higglety Pigglety Pop! by a week, and making it the first official Friday Challenge of 2012. Here is a recap:

As a young child, one of my favorite books was Maurice Sendak's Higglety Pigglety Pop! or There Must Be More to Life, layered with multiple meanings, poetic prose, and darkly detailed depictions of the more that there must be. (Suffice it to say, I was an odd child, and I doubt any of you are surprised by that revelation.)

You may be familiar with that book, or you may not; for the purposes of this challenge, it really doesn't matter. The thing to remember is that this week's writing must be a bit higglety pigglety (since we are, after all, in the midst of the most wonderfully hectic time of the year!), and it must “Pop!” Multiple meanings, poetic prose, and darkly detailed depictions are entirely optional... but including them certainly won't hurt your chances of being declared our weekly winner.

I'll only allow 120 words. Pop!


You may post your entries as comments below, post on your personal blog and give a link below, or add to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group in our current directory.



Anyone can enter, with no restrictions, and you may enter as many times as you wish.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 6 January 2012. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 8 January 2012 (and since I shan't be celebrating Kim Jong-un's birthday, there shouldn't be any reason to deviate from that schedule!).

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

What? One more more thing? Oh, yes:

From all of us, to all of you, Happy New Year! All the best for 2012, and may you be safe, warm, and with those you love.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

Deadline Reminder

NOTE: We haven’t forgotten about the previous challenge (“And now, for the next century and a half...”), but we didn’t think through the logistics of Christmas week.

At the moment, the reindeer are all kvetching about the unseasonable lack of wintry precipitation at this latitude, and the elves miss their frostbite. We’re in the process of banishing packing them away for another year, so we can get on with mo’ better challenge judging in 2012, and all the other Stupefying hijinks we have planned.





The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — Higglety Pigglety Pop! — is 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 30 December 2011... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 6 AM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 1 January 2012 (or thereabouts!).


Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Ultimate Geek Fu

It's the Wednesday after Christmas. Half the Friday Challenge crew is out on the road somewhere, and the rest of us are still recovering from the holiday. I personally am up to my armpits in trying to pull the January STUPEFYING STORIES together. And still you want an Ultimate Geek Fu?

Okay, let's see: did anyone get any good books for Christmas? I mean, aside from Jimi Plays Dead, by yours truly, which is still available for free on Amazon for one more day?

As for electronic media: the last time I had the TV on was to watch the Packers beat the Bears—honestly, even though they're Da Bears, by the 4th quarter, I was feeling sorry for them—and the next time I anticipate having the TV on will be to watch the Packers play the Lions. So I really have nothing to say re TV this week.

The last movie I saw in the theater was Sherlock Holmes: Game of Shadows —which was good enough, for a big-budget CGI-heavy December blockbuster, but really more of a steampunked-up Indiana Jones Meets The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen than a Sherlock Holmes story. Chase scene, fight scene, chase scene, fight scene, comic relief breather, chase scene, fight scene, D.S. al coda...

Some quibbles:

1. The palette ran the entire range from dark blue to brown to gray to black, with most of the film looking like grubby gray actors on black sets shot through blue filters. Even the gypsy camp was oddly monochromatic. Would it have hurt to put some color in the thing?

2. Can we please declare a moratorium on the "shifting film speed" chase scene gimmick? You know, where most of the scene is run at slightly faster-than-normal frame rates to give a sense of frenetic action, but then it drops into super slow-motion to show a bullet just creasing a character or shattering a tree? We've seen that one enough. Come up with a new visual cliche, please.

3. Downey's riff on Heath Ledger's "Joker" really is just awful. Pulls you completely out of this movie and makes you realize you wish you were watching The Dark Knight instead.

4. As a story, the biggest problem with this one was that this version of Professor Moriarty felt like a complete lightweight. I've said it before and I'll continue to say it: the quality of the villain determines the value of the hero. In the Holmes canon, Moriarty is supposed to be "the Napoleon of Crime." This guy was more of a cheese Danish.

5. Finally, the whole film could have been redeemed by one image: if, while Holmes and Watson were prowling around Moriarty's "secret weapons factory" and discovering all these "futuristic" weapons with which Moriarty was planning to bring death and destruction to the world (e.g., broomhandle Mausers, Vickers machine guns, Skoda cannons), they had rounded a corner, and Downey's Holmes had found himself looking at a steampunked-up Edwardian "Iron Man" suit. That moment would have made this movie. But it wasn't in this movie.

Hmm. Guess I had more to say about this movie than I thought.

Anyway, there's your UGF roundup for this Wednesday morning. I don't believe I've said anything controversial, but since it has become our traditional conclusion, I will conclude with:

Let the arguments begin!

Sunday, December 25, 2011

And the winner is...

... not going to be announced on Christmas day, after all! It was overly ambitious to even think doing so was possible.

See you all tomorrow! May you be safe and warm, with those you love.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Jingle Bell Rock!

For the next five days only, for Kindle only, and just because I'm such a wonderfully nice guy—and also because I've been playing around with Amazon's "Promotions Manager" function, and I want to see how well it works—I am giving away, absolutely free, this handsome little e-book, JIMI PLAYS DEAD!



Download it today! Tell your friends! Tell your friends' friends! Tell the people who aren't really such good friends of yours after all but you wouldn't turn down having a beer with them, if they were buying! Tell everyone!

And may you and yours have a Happy Christmas!
~brb

P.S. If you don't have a Kindle, you can always download the free Kindle Reading App for PC, Mac, iPhone, iPad, Blackberry, Android, etc., etc., etc...

Open Mic Saturday

Good morning all, and welcome to Open Mic Saturday. This is the place to share your news and perhaps do a little bragging. If you're writing a novel: how much progress did you make this week? If you're writing short stories: did you finish anything or submit anything this week? If you've sold or published anything recently, when is it coming out and where can we find it? In short, as a writer, what kind of progress did you make this week?

Or what else is on your mind, that you feel like sharing with the group here?

Friday, December 23, 2011

The Friday Challenge — 12/23/2011

This week in The Friday Challenge:

The December issue of STUPEFYING STORIES is released! • Buy a copy at Amazon, Apple or Barnes & Noble...

Henry Vogel ponders upon the way “fans” are percieved. • Join the discussion...

Lady Quill wins our A Reindeer to Remember challenge, by being beautiful. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as the fifteen days of Christmahanukwanzakastivus get underway, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.


“And now, for the next century and a half...”

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:


An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and a winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 25 December 2011 (or as close thereto as can be reasonably managed, given travel and a borrowed computer).


Higglety Pigglety Pop!

And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, inflicted by M:

As a young child, one of my favorite books was Maurice Sendak's Higglety Pigglety Pop! or There Must Be More to Life, layered with multiple meanings, poetic prose, and darkly detailed depictions of the more that there must be. (Suffice it to say, I was an odd child, and I doubt any of you are surprised by that revelation.)

You may be familiar with that book, or you may not; for the purposes of this challenge, it really doesn't matter. The thing to remember is that this week's writing must be a bit higglety pigglety (since we are, after all, in the midst of the most wonderfully hectic time of the year!), and it must “Pop!” Multiple meanings, poetic prose, and darkly detailed depictions are entirely optional... but including them certainly won't hurt your chances of being declared our weekly winner.

I'll only allow 120 words. Pop!


You may post your entries as comments below, post on your personal blog and give a link below, or add to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group in our current directory.



Anyone can enter, with no restrictions, and you may enter as many times as you wish.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 30 December 2011. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 1 January (yes, on New Year's Day!) 2012.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Deadline Reminder

NOTE: Friday morning's post will be closer to noon, due to holiday travel and a borrowed computer! (Anyone contemplating an entry has roughly six additional hours in which to compose 200 words.)


The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — “And now, for the next century and a half...” — is 12 PM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 23 December 2011... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 12 PM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 25 December 2011.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Ultimate Geek Fu

Many, many years ago, back in the mid 1980s, I went to a local comedy show with my wife and a group of her friends. The show featured three comedians, none of whom any of us had ever heard of. The most unknown guy came on and was pretty funny. It helped that he had less time on stage than anyone else, allowing him to stick with his best material.

The middling unknown guy had a completely different style from the first guy and was struggling to make a connection with the audience. He was trying really hard but wasn't getting much feedback from the audience. At some point, he called out something to the audience, looking for some response. When none came, I took pity on him.

"Yeah!" I called out.

Of course, that brought me to his attention. Finally having some with whom he could interact, the comedian singled me out with the standard question comedians ask members of the audience.

"You sir," he called. "What do you do for a living?"

I paused, thinking the guy really needed a "typical" response such as salesman or lawyer or something he could use as a jumping off point to make fun of me.

I said, "I write comic books."

There was a long pause as the guy just stared at me. So did most of the audience. Then the guy threw up his arms and said, "Great, I pick the one guy in the audience with a better job than me!"

That got him the laughs he hadn't been getting. For the rest of the show, when things got slow, he came back to me, using every cliché associated with comic book and science fiction fandom, trying to draw laughs from my unexpected response to his question. I didn't mind because the look I got when I told him I wrote comic books was worth the price of admission and his attempts to make fun of me. If it hadn't been for that stunned look, I probably wouldn't have taken it quite so well.

The story isn't a perfect intro to today's geek fu topic, but it's good enough. The topic is the way science fiction and comic book fans are portrayed in the media. As an example, finding an article about comic books in a mainstream media publication was a mixed blessing. Comic book fans liked seeing outside interest in comic books but hated the way headline writers always wrote something like "Biff! Pow! Local Duo Publishes Comic Book!" Science fiction fans always hated that the photos and the quotes from a convention were always from the guy who spent the entire convention dressed as a Klingon or wearing Spock ears, ignoring the fans who would give thoughtful quotes and whose photo would not frighten the mothers of young fans.

We here at Geek Fu Central are interested in positive, or at least gently appreciative, portrayals of fandom. To keep this from wandering all over the place, we're going to limit ourselves to movies. Offhand, Bruce and I could only think of two movies in which science fiction fans were portrayed appreciatively.

I added a model of the spaceship from one of those movies to my desk at work just last week; the N.S.E.A. Protector. For those who don't recall, that's the ship from the best, most-loving science fiction spoof ever made -- Galaxy Quest. The fans were obviously modeled after Star Trek fans, but the movie treated them kindly. The people who ridiculed the fans were shown as obnoxious. The fans, while sometimes overly zealous, were shown in a positive light. Watching the movie, the fans reminded me of actual fans I'd met while appearing as a guest at conventions. They were excited to be at the convention, excited to be meeting people associated with something they loved, and generally likable.

The other movie, one which Bruce has just recently seen, is Paul, which I reviewed back in March. The movie opens at the San Diego Comic Con, where the fans are shown in a positive light. This is probably because the movie was written by and stars two certified geeks; Nick Frost and Simon Pegg. These two guys met when one of them overheard the other one doing a stand-up comedy routine all about Star Wars. Their geek cred is solid and, while they don't mind making fun of geeks, you know they're poking fun at themselves and us. In other words, it's actually funny.

Can you think of some other movies which treat our kind as gently as these two movies? And, what the heck, let's toss it open to TV, too.

Let the arguments begin!

Monday, December 19, 2011

And the winner is (Special Holiday/Youth Edition!)...

“You know Dasher, and Dancer, and Prancer, and Vixen; Comet, and Cupid, and Donner, and Blitzen... but do you recall, that Reindeer that no one ever talks about?”

If any of you are able to take a second look at your own work, and see ways in which to improve a concept so that it can be more successfully developed, the effort will be worthwhile.

Those of you who vote are allowed to assign a range of “0” to “3” points, per entry. Since challengers may not vote for their own stories, a bonus of 2 points is given to a participant's highest-ranked work, if that participant also takes the time to numerically vote on the other entries.

Official judges receive a 30 point allocation, to assign as they see fit. The only restriction is that at most, only half of those points may be given to any single entry (unless there is only one entry, in which case the silly restriction is lifted!), and there is no requirement for a judge to use the entire 30 point allocation.

M is about to put on the “Editor Hat.” It's sort of like the “Sorting Hat” they use at Hogwarts (“Oh, Rudolph... you aren't really Gryffindor material! Now get off the Quidditch field.”), but a little less sarcastic.


A Reindeer to Remember

“Bucktooth the Redneck Reindeer” by Triton

M: It is to your credit that I could imagine Jeff Foxworthy delivering this piece. Aaaannnd, that's about all I'll say about this one.

M_Nicole_Cunningham: 0 / Ryan Jones: 1.5 / Tyler Tork: 1.5 / xdpaul: 1
M: 3
Total: 7



“Gander” by M_Nicole_Cunningham

M: Beautiful, captivating, and even a bit lyrical. Unfortunately, I don't quite understand the last two lines. (Were you going for ambiguous clarity, or clear ambiguity?)

M_Nicole_Cunningham: voted! / Ryan Jones: 3 / Tyler Tork: 2.5 / xdpaul: 2
M: 6
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 15.5



“Hreinn Larsen, Santa's Stable Keeper” by Ryan Jones

M: You could probably get a profitable children's story out of this one. I like it.

M_Nicole_Cunningham: 1 / Ryan Jones: voted! / Tyler Tork: 2 / xdpaul: 2
M: 4
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 11



“Vanish, The White-hued Reindeer” by xdpaul

M: Pure description isn't necessarily a bad thing, but you weren't playing to your strengths, here. Sadly, I have to disqualify you for burying us in an avalanche of words. (If they had been really, really short words and equalled the approximate number of letters in some of the other entries, I could have been swayed.)

M_Nicole_Cunningham: 0 / Ryan Jones: 2.5 / Tyler Tork: 0 / xdpaul: voted!
M: 0
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 4.5



“Cavil, the Dissident Reindeer” by Tyler Tork

M: With tongue planted firmly in cheek, you've succinctly eviscerated the jolly old elf of any redeeming qualities. One suspects that sweat shops and patent violations are only the tip of the icicle...

M_Nicole_Cunningham: 2 / Ryan Jones: 2 / Tyler Tork: voted! / xdpaul: 1
M: 5
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 12



“The Mother of All Reindeer” by Lady Quill

M: As with Ryan's work, you could easily spin this one into a fondly-remembered children's tale. Or, you could spin it into a rant about how aliens should be more careful when expelling their spent antigrav rods, and a celebration of Tonna's fortuitous discovery of Babel fish in the frozen tundra...

Arisia: + / M_Nicole_Cunningham: 2 / Ryan Jones: 3 / Tyler Tork: 1.5 / xdpaul: 3
M: 6
Total: 15.5+



“Reynaldo, the Norm Peterson of Reindeer” by Allan Davis

M: If you reworked this gag as a single-panel illustration, you could probably sell it to a greeting card company and sell a bazillion copies each December. Then George Wendt would hunt you down and kill you.

M_Nicole_Cunningham: 3 / Ryan Jones: 2 / Tyler Tork: 2.5 / xdpaul: 2
M: 6
Total: 15.5



And in the Junior Division:

“The 4 Leg Reindeer” by the six year old

M: I have the strong impression that your reindeer is equally likely to take up the manufacture of poisoned apples, or spinning wool from homeless cats. The word that comes to mind is mglw'nafh, but since I'm guessing your parents haven't explained that one to you yet, I'll go with "evocative."

M_Nicole_Cunningham: “very interesting structure” / Ryan Jones: “full of implications” / Tyler Tork: “most existential” / xdpaul: “awesome”
M: “evocative”



“Artemis Boomer” by the nine year old

M: Even at a young age, you've already learned the power of a surprise ending. I did not see this one coming. Of course, neither did the reindeer.

M_Nicole_Cunningham: “a definite future in writing” / Ryan Jones: “could be the hook” / Tyler Tork: “interesting protagonist” / xdpaul: “Pushcart Prize”
M: “surprise ending”



“School Bus Reindeer” by the ten year old

M: Has your father already introduced you to a little series called Axe Cop, by chance? When/if he does, here's another word you might want to keep in mind: "collaboration." Just make sure you don't forget that other magic word ("royalties"), when you spring it on him.

M_Nicole_Cunningham: “very original” / Ryan Jones: “mastered the use of understatement” / Tyler Tork: “Deep.” / xdpaul: “complex”
M: “collaboration/royalties”




Wrap-up...

And the numbers don't lie. We have... a three-way tie?

1st Place: 15.5 points — “Gander” by M_Nicole_Cunningham
1st Place: 15.5+ points — “The Mother of All Reindeer” by Lady Quill
1st Place: 15.5 points — “Reynaldo, the Norm Peterson of Reindeer” by Allan Davis

Oh, wait! Arisia cast a characteristic tie-breaking, non-numeric endorsement, with that little “+" beside “The Mother of All Reindeer.” Congratulations, Lady Quill!


Afterword...


As a reminder, over the next few weeks we are trying something a little different, as we engage in a few smaller, lighter challenges, while the holidays swirl us about, higgledy-piggledy and piggledy-pop. (Yes, that still might just be a subtle hint about the next challenge, since it turned out to not be a hint about the one we just proposed...)

So rest your creative faculties, but if a challenge intrigues you during this holiday interval, then by all means join the fun! Our current challenge is: “And now, for the next century and a half...”

Sunday, December 18, 2011

And the winner is...

... going to be announced tomorrow. I'd originally planned to schedule the results to post later this evening, since I'll very shortly be schmoozing with the stars at a Christmas party. But since a few folks voted this week, rather than prematurely ending the fun, I'm giving everyone else a little longer to add their own comments and scores (and earn participation bonuses, for those so inclined).

To hold you over, here is a peek what we've been working on. That's right... the December issue is finally about to be released!





Saturday, December 17, 2011

Open Mic Saturday

Good morning all, and welcome to Open Mic Saturday. This is the place to share your news and perhaps do a little bragging. If you're writing a novel: how much progress did you make this week? If you're writing short stories: did you finish anything or submit anything this week? If you've sold or published anything recently, when is it coming out and where can we find it? In short, as a writer, what kind of progress did you make this week?

Or what else is on your mind, that you feel like sharing with the group here?

Friday, December 16, 2011

The Friday Challenge — 12/16/2011

This week in The Friday Challenge:

Bruce Bethke paraphrases Samuel Clemens, in the latest addition to our “Slushpile Survival Guide.” • Join the discussion...

Henry Vogel shares the story of his geekiest Christmas gift ever (and this one wasn't it, just in case anyone was wondering). • Join the discussion...

Kersley Fitzgerald becomes a quivering mass of mucous, but still finds the time to share a valuable PSA. • Join the discussion...

Guy Stewart wins our Parklife challenge, by bringing a truly invasive species into the greenhouse. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as the proximity of National Ding-a-Ling Day and National Chocolate Covered Anything Day suggests permutations too bizarre to discuss in a family-friendly forum, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.


A Reindeer to Remember

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:


An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and a winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 18 December 2011.


“And now, for the next century and a half...”

And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, inflicted by M:

Last night I stayed up until 3 AM, to meet a submission deadline. This morning I attended my daughter's Christmas program... and after lunch, we attended another program, put on by one of the schools we are contemplating once she starts kindergarten.

Now, in getting out the door this morning, I only managed a single cup of coffee. Normally I'm a three-cups-to-start-the-day man. If I don't get it, I won't get a lot of other things, either. I mention this, because it is undoubtedly the source of this week's challenge.

The second program we attended was A Christmas Carol, acted out by a half dozen elementary students from a local Montessori school. Production values were a few notches below those of William Hartnell-era Doctor Who, but the kids were expressing an admirable degree of creativity and enthusiasm, and pulled off a respectable degree of memorization, given their ages.

As my attention — compounded by the aforementioned deficiency of caffeine — drifted, I realized that although I've grown to resent this annual infliction of Dickens' lesser work (and all the myriad retellings that infest popular culture under the guise of public domain interpretation), it is a notable example of our genre subtly infusing the public consciousness, to the degree that it is difficult to imagine any displacement.

You see, despite the hokum that Robert Zemeckis tried to foist on the public with his mo-cap travesty a few years ago, A Christmas Carol really is science fiction. Sure, it's fantasy, too... and a bit of horror, for good measure. The narrative is filled with time travel, voyeuristic spirits, and dire warnings from beyond the grave, and if it wasn't for the fact that I encounter handfuls of pallid, uncreative variations on the same theme every winter, I'd probably think it was the most brilliant thing ol' Chuck D. ever wrote.

What bothered me was that, in over a century and a half of imitation, no one has managed to do better.

Now, you all know the basic plot well enough to verbally sketch it in under 200 words, and brevity of concept is part of what makes A Christmas Carol such an appealing tradition, for young and old alike! So 200 words is what I'll give you, to sketch out the essence of your own SF/F/H-holiday tale. You must have elements of all three genres, and at least one lovable character... and you may not borrow from anything recognizably Dickensian.


You may post your entries as comments below, post on your personal blog and give a link below, or add to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group in our current directory.



Anyone can enter, with no restrictions, and you may enter as many times as you wish.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 23 December 2011. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 25 December (yes, on Christmas Day!) 2011.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Deadline Reminder

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — A Reindeer to Remember — is 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 16 December 2011... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 6 AM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 18 December 2011.


UPDATE: Friday morning's post will be closer to noon four... so you all have a few extra hours in which to pay tribute to that "special" reindeer!

Critical Sneezing

I'm sick. I think I'm slowly dissolving into some kind of gelatinous snot monster. And my in-laws come today. And I have an elementary school concert tonight. "Pity the Gelf!"

All my brain cells have turned to phlegm, so I leave you with this public service announcement. Please, star folk, remember who the enemy is.



Ignore the placement of his head in comparison to the painting's crotch.


George Takei is one of only ten actors to have appeared in both the Star Trek and Star Wars franchises (he's a voice on the Clone Wars cartoon.) Deep Roy is the only actor to have appeared in Star Trek, Star Wars, and Doctor Who.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Ultimate Geek Fu

I'm sure everyone has noticed that a major holiday is approaching; one associated with the giving of gifts. I'm sure we've all gotten our share of odd and inappropriate gifts over the years. Those range from clothes given to you when you were a little kid and only interested in receiving toys to, um, clothes given to you when you were ostensibly an adult and still only interested in receiving toys. This column is about "geek fu," though, so I have another kind of gift in mind.

What is the geekiest gift you've ever received?

I don't even have to think all that hard to come up with my geekiest gift. It was 1997, back in the halcyon days before the Star Wars prequels had been released. Back in the days when our only complaint was that George Lucas had screwed up the scene between Han and Greedo in the Mos Eisley Cantina. Yes, we all screamed "Han shot first!" but at least Jar Jar Binks was still in the future. The upshot of all of this is that Star Wars merchandise was more plentiful than it had ever been before and a lot of it was aimed at adults.

That brings me around to my geekiest gift ever. On Christmas morning, a beautifully wrapped box was handed to me. Just holding the box, it felt like clothes. There was just something about the weight and the type of box that gave it away. Now, I have reached the point where I don't really mind getting clothes for Christmas (being responsible for buying your own clothes will do that to you), but unless I'm getting a geeky t-shirt, clothing still doesn't make my heart leap with joy. So, with a carefully pasted on look of anticipation, I opened the box. I was right, it was clothing. A jacket, to be exact; something I most definitely did need. But it wasn't just any jacket.

It was an authentic, exact replica of the jacket worn by Luke Skywalker in The Empire Strikes Back. I've always liked that jacket, so it was cool beyond belief to me. It was equally fun to wear it to work after the holidays and note who recognized it (three other geeks).

The jacket no longer fits, but I still have it. To this day, it is my geekiest gift ever. Can you top that?

Let the arguments begin!

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The Slushpile Survival Guide

For this week's Slushpile Survival Guide, I asked our intrepid slushpile readers to come up with a list of the stories that they've seen enough of already and would be perfectly happy to never see again. Unfortunately it proved impossible to shorten and clean up their responses enough to fit it into a single column, so instead, this week I'd like to talk about Mark Twain's Rules for Writing — which, to judge by the last hundred stories or so I've rejected, are no longer being taught in schools.

Perhaps the title is somewhat misleading. As far as I can tell Twain never actually wrote a serious article on how to write fiction. Rather, his Rules appear in the context of his famous essay, "Fennimore Cooper's Literary Offences", which is composed of equal parts literary criticism and hatchet job. Twain cites his Rules en passant
"There are nineteen rules governing literary art in the domain of romantic fiction*—some say twenty-two."
and then proceeds to list only 18, some of which appear to be made up on the spot, solely for the purpose of abusing Mr. Cooper's work.

(* It is also worth noting that at the time Twain wrote this essay, all novels were romantic fiction. Even H. G. Wells called his early novels such as The War of the Worlds and The Time Machine "scientific romances." The term romance did not become synonymous with "Harlequin bodice-ripper" until the post-WWII paperback publishing boom.)

Some of Twain's rules are stylistic in nature and simply the rules of good writing, period. E.g.,
These require that the author shall:

12. Say what he is proposing to say, not merely come near it.

13. Use the right word, not its second cousin.

14. Eschew surplusage.

15. Not omit necessary details.

16. Avoid slovenliness of form.

17. Use good grammar.

18. Employ a simple and straightforward style.
However, the rules I've seen violated most egregiously and often in the stories I've been reading lately fall into the range of the first eleven, and require some extraction from Twain's wholesale slagging of Cooper. Taking the liberty of editing and elliding Mr. Twain's words, then; the rules of fiction require:
1. That a tale shall accomplish something and arrive somewhere.

2. That the episodes of a tale shall be necessary parts of the tale and shall help to develop it.

3. That the personages in the tale shall be alive, except in the case of corpses, and that the reader shall be able to tell the corpses from the others.

4. That the personages in a tale, both dead and alive, exhibit sufficient cause for being there.

5. (Skipped. Too complex to simplify.)

6. That when the author describes the character of a personage in his tale, the conduct and conversation of that personage shall justify said description.

7. That when a personage talks like an illustrated, gilt-edged, tree-calf, hand-tooled, seven-dollar Friendship's Offering in the beginning of a paragraph, he shall not talk like a negro minstrel in the end of it.

8. That crass stupidities shall not be played upon the reader.

9. (Skipped. Not entirely relevant to SF/F.)

10. That the author shall make the reader feel a deep interest in the personages of his tale and in their fate.

11. (Skipped. Debatable.)
In music, these are what we call rudiments: the most fundamental and basic skills you need to get down cold before you can even start to think about doing anything more complicated. This isn't an all-inclusive guide, but it's a good start.

Hope this helps. Will write more next week.

~brb

Sunday, December 11, 2011

And the winner is...

Oh how sweet, to be a vegetable...

If any of you are able to take a second look at your own work, and see ways in which to improve a concept so that it can be more successfully developed, the effort will be worthwhile.

Those of you who vote are allowed to assign a range of “0” to “3” points, per entry. Since challengers may not vote for their own stories, a bonus of 2 points is given to a participant's highest-ranked work, if that participant also takes the time to numerically vote on the other entries.

Official judges receive a 30 point allocation, to assign as they see fit. The only restriction is that at most, only half of those points may be given to any single entry (unless there is only one entry, in which case the silly restriction is lifted!), and there is no requirement for a judge to use the entire 30 point allocation.

Jack Calverley is about to put on the “Editor Hat.” It's sort of like the “Sorting Hat” they use at Hogwarts (“You'll enjoy Professor Rasthmussin's class on carnivorous plants. Oh, he's been eaten? I meant Professor Gornificall's class.”), but a little less sarcastic.


Parklife

“Chance Encounter” by Guy Stewart

Jack Calverley: First, thank you for submitting your story. I enjoyed reading it and it fits the bill exactly.

On starting, the story immediately imparts a sense of place and purpose. The plant is given character by placing it in opposition to the WheetAh, and by expressing its attitude to the WheetAh.

I like the reversal that someone formally educated in horticulture can only get a job in horticulture as a translator. It seems to me to reflect a truth about the human (or at least socitey's) condition.

Having earlier established the attitude to the WheetAh, that fact is neatly used to involve the reader via the expression: "the WheetAh begged" — the reader immediately understands how the plant will react to this.

I like the idea that the plant can control the chemicals it emits, and uses them to react to the human, revealing how it both deals with antagonism and lures its prey.

“The children!” is a nice touch.

I thought it might have been better to be more specific where the human says “...some skirmish thing...” or where the narrator says “the entire thing” (I suppose the word “thing” worries me). I think that naming the nitric acid specifically might have made the story more accessible to the non-chemist reader.

“It sloshed heavily” is a neat showing rather than telling.

Overall: a concise herbicide of invasive species.


Jack Calverley: 30
Total: 30


Wrap-up...

Again, an easy batch of numbers to tally:

1st Place: 30 points — “Chance Encounter” by Guy Stewart

Congratulations, Guy Stewart!


Afterword...


As a reminder, over the next few weeks we'll be trying something a little different. We'll be engaged in a few smaller, lighter challenges, while the holidays swirl us about, higgledy-piggledy and piggledy-pop. (Yes, that might just be a subtle hint about the next challenge...)

So rest your creative faculties, but if a challenge intrigues you during this holiday interval, then by all means join the fun! Our current challenge is: A Reindeer to Remember

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Open Mic Saturday

Good morning all, and welcome to Open Mic Saturday. This is the place to share your news and perhaps do a little bragging. If you're writing a novel: how much progress did you make this week? If you're writing short stories: did you finish anything or submit anything this week? If you've sold or published anything recently, when is it coming out and where can we find it? In short, as a writer, what kind of progress did you make this week?

Or what else is on your mind, that you feel like sharing with the group here?

Friday, December 9, 2011

The Friday Challenge — 12/09/2011

This week in The Friday Challenge:

Henry Vogel examines the true value of a cover letter. • Join the discussion...

Kersley Fitzgerald goes back to the beginning, and asks, “was it good?” • Join the discussion...

Guy Stewart sold a short story to Cast of Wonders: The YA Sci-fi & Fantasy Audio Magazine . • Listen to the podcast online, or download Ep20: Peanut Butter and Jellyfish by Guy Stewart (Part 1)...

Arisia wins The Tellurian Shower challenge, by showing, telling, and being brave enough to enter in the face of the holiday rush. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as M breaks in a new fountain pen on Letter Writing Day, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.


Parklife

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:


An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and a winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 11 December 2011.


A Reindeer to Remember

And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, inflicted by M:

We've had a few successively slow weeks. In fact, this is the fourth... and I think I know why! If, like me, your heart is ten sizes too small and you must annually force yourself into the holiday spirit with animated infusions of Christmas cheer, you probably haven't had an abundance of emotional energy to invest in writing/presenting that brilliant challenge entry that's been slowly percolating in the back of your head.

This week, we'll try something simple. An exercise for those atrophying green-and-red muscles, so to speak!

Give me a character sketch of a Reindeer.

“Wait,” I can hear you complain, “that's kind of limited! We only have enough for nine entries. There are Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen, Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen, and Sniffles.”

Not so fast, kids. If there's one thing the old Rankin/Bass stop-motion Animagic specials taught us (well, besides the fact that Santa is kind of an a$$hole), it's that there are a lot of Reindeer at the North Pole. They're sort of like the Three Stooges: Everyone can name Moe, Larry and Curly, although most of the world forgets about Shemp, Joe Palma, Joe Besser, Curly Joe, Emil Sitka, Purley Stebbins, and Hicky Burr.

But if Santa can remember all the naughty and nice kiddies in the whole wide world, the least we can do is acknowledge a few of the “supporting cast” Reindeer stuck in the less glamourous roles, at the North Pole. I want to hear about Rudolph's sister Natasha, who had a shiny red tail. I want to hear about Chlamydia the Reindeer, who absolutely hated his name. I want to hear about Venison the Reindeer, who... well, come to think of it, no one has seen Venison since the Donner party last Christmas. I wonder how he's doing?

At any rate, that is this week's challenge! Give me a character sketch, in 120 words or less, of a Reindeer your think we should remember.

You may post your entries as comments below, post on your personal blog and give a link below, or add to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group in our current directory.




Anyone can enter, with no restrictions, and you may enter as many times as you wish.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 16 December 2011. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 18 December 2011.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Deadline Reminder

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — Parklife — is 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 9 December 2011... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 6 AM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 11 December 2011.


M: Guy Stewart has already added an entry to the Yahoo Group, although not within the directory (since I hadn't yet created the directory when he posted it!). Guy, if you see this in time, feel free to re-post in the directory... but if you don't, no worries; I'll link to your entry wherever it is, when the results are posted tomorrow morning.

Critical Thinking: Beginnings

After reading a few dozen more stories in the slush pile, I thought I'd talk a little about story beginnings. That right there, was a terrible first line. It was boring. Lesson #1: don't use first lines like that one!

The beginning of a story may be the most important part. Some of the slushies don't read past the first couple of pages. That means you don't have 2000 words to wow them. You may not have 1000 words. You need to do it right away. You need to wow them, amaze them, draw them in—all while making sense. It's possible, but it's a delicate balancing act.

Orientation vs. too much detail. I mentioned it before—how important is the appearance of your character to the story? Would describing the character add to the story, or take away from the narrative flow? (And, please, try to find a term to use other than "frame," as in, "He folded his long frame into the trash compactor." It's not bad, per se. We just see it a lot.) It does help to know if this is a sci fi story or a swords and sandals or an Elvis mystery, but sometimes too much detail is just boring. Annie Proulx once spent hours with a guy who hand-makes knives. She learned about the metal and the forging and the hilt…everything there was to making a hand-made knife. After all those hours, she used that information in one line—about how a knife fit in a character's hand. She was fascinated by the entire process, but it wasn't appropriate for the narrative. And she'll probably use some of that information in another story.

Action vs. empathy. Many good writers with more experience than I'll ever have recommend you start in the middle of the action. Maybe even in the middle of a fight, although "action" could mean anything that causes tension. I recently read such a story. It opened right up with a man fighting a monster—and continued for many, many pages. Here's the hard part, though: who cares? The fight was exciting and very well-written, but it can be difficult (especially for a plot-based writer) to get through that first intense scene and still make the reader care about the character. Humor helps, although I'm beginning to realize that writing humor must be a very rare gift. How you do it exactly depends on the genre and tone of the story, as well as the characters in play. Beginning with some kind of tension is definitely a plus, but we better get through that first scene with some kind of empathy for the character.

Depth vs. info-dump. How many of you have seen the movie Dune? How many minutes passed before the narrator was finished explaining the characters and the political significance of blessed everything? How many of you fast-forwarded through that part the next time you watched it? Dune is 137 minutes long. One hundred thirty of those are narrated. You don't have the advantage of Kyle MacLachlan's hair and Sting's bod to keep people's attention. You may not have four pages. Some of the slushies can tell within a few sentences if the story's going to be good enough. Flashbacks/reminiscing/internal-dialogue-remembrances should be minimized in a short story, anyway. They certainly don't belong, in bulk, in the beginning of the story. It's fine to have an idea of where the story fits into a larger world, but keep it short, keep it tight, and keep it relevant to the moment.

The most entertaining slush stories I've read are those who begin the story at the beginning. The authors weren't so in love with their created world that they had to explain every detail. And they weren't so condescending to their audience that they felt they had to spoon-feed the relevant information. They just jumped right in and trusted the reader to follow. Once you have the reader's attention, and the reader's concern for the characters, you can afford to ease up on the throttle a bit. It's a balancing act, and it may take a lot of work to get it right, but it's worth it.


Kersley Fitzgerald is having a good time reading the slush pile. Except, perhaps, the stories from authors who don't read the submission guidelines and fill their story with ickiness. Because, you know, "ickiness" is a literary genre.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Ruminations of an Old Goat

So, you've finished writing a story and you're ready to submit for possible publication. Congratulations, you've done the easy part of being an author. Up until this point, all of your energy has gone into creation, which is fun. You still need to spend energy creating more stories, but you also have to put energy into selling your story. My plan with this column is to help make sure you don't waste the energy you expend trying to sell your story.

Other than the story itself, what's the first thing you need to have to submit your story? Maybe a top notch cover letter? Perhaps having a personal connection to a decision maker at your publication of choice? Nice though those things are, they aren't the most important thing you need to have. What you really, truly need to have is a clue. As in a clue about what you're doing.

What do I mean by that? I'll tell you.

You need to know your market. Better yet, you know to know who your market is. Your market is not the fan who will buy the magazine to which you are submitting your story. The fan is the market for the magazine. Your market is the editor who holds the power to accept or reject your story. If the editor likes your story, you've probably got a sale. (Not definitely, as the magazine may already have several stories similar to yours already.) So here's the clue you need to know:

Don't piss off the editor with your submission!

It seems pretty simple, doesn't it? I mean, really, is there anyone who would do such a thing? Of course there are. People do stupid stuff all the time. But I'm not here to warn against telling an editor your story is better than any of that crap he's been publishing for the last year. I'm not going to warn against sending an idiotic "do you know who I am" sort of letter. I think you're all smart enough to avoid those stupid mistakes without my help. I'm going to touch on some other things, most of them just common sense, but worth touching on anyway.

First off, read the submission guidelines for the publication. This is very simple and, I believe, done by almost every writer in the business. That's not to say there aren't fools who ignore this simple bit of advice, but I don't think any of you are among those fools.

Second, and far more important than merely reading the submission guidelines, pay attention to what the submission guidelines say. If the submission guidelines say, "We are not interested in publishing fantasy stories." believe them. I don't care if your story reads like the second coming of J.R.R. Tolkein, if your cover letter begins, "I know you don't want fantasy stories, but mine is different," you're going to piss off the editor.

Editors are busy people who have to read a whole lot of fair to poor to wretched stories to find the few gems that end up being accepted. On top of all of that reading, they have to set the contents for each issue, write acceptance and rejection letters, and generally deal with an amazing variety of silly details having little to do with stories but everything to do with publishing them. Even the few minutes required to open (be it an email or a snail mail submission) and read your cover letter (or start reading the story, if you did not mention that your story was fantasy in your cover letter), is time the editor could be spending doing useful work. Then there's the time the editor will spend adding your name to The List (editors always have lists of people who piss them off) and the foul mood your willful ignorance will have engendered in the editor.

So, read and believe the submission guidelines. The editor won't thank you for it because the editor expects you to do it. Don't be the author who fails to meet the editor's expectations in this regard.

Next, the best way to know what to send to an editor is to know what the editor has bought. This is the bit where I tell you to buy copies of the publication in question and read them. This is also one of those areas where many writers fall down. They're too busy writing to read. They can't find a copy locally. Whatever the reason, many writers just make sure what they're submitting isn't contrary to the submission guidelines and assume that's enough. And it just may be enough, provided you're lucky enough to have submitted what the editor likes to buy or if your story is so strong that the editor accepts it anyway. If you want to leave your success as a writer to luck, then by all means ignore this bit of advice. But remember that it may irritate the editor to receive a story that is obviously outside of what the editor usually buys even if it isn't technically violating the submission guidelines.

I'll touch, finally, on the cover letter. Cover letters are, in my experience, only important if you screw it up. There are a lot of things included in cover letters which don't need to be there:

Don't tell the editor all about your story. Let your story speak for itself. Don't list everything you've ever had published by title and publication. Unless it's a major publication within the field, you're not telling the editor anything useful. A simple statement such as "I have made xx professional sales" or "I wrote comic books professionally for ten years" should suffice.

Don't list awards you've won unless it's an award everyone will have heard of. If you win a Hugo, a Nebula, the Philip K. Dick award, the John Campbell new writer award, or something equally big in another genre, your awards aren't going to mean anything to the editor.

Don't delve into personal details. The editor doesn't need (or, most likely, want) to know why you wrote the story or what is happening in your life right now. The editor only cares how good your story is.

I suggest a cover letter along the lines of "Dear Editor, I am submitting my story entitled for your consideration. It is xxxx words in length. Thank you for your time. Sincerely, ." And, no, you don't need to include a mini-bio in your cover letter. If the editor needs one from you, rest assured they'll ask for it.

In other words, cover letters really don't make the editor more likely to buy your story, though they can make the editor less likely to buy it.

Like I said at the beginning, this should all be common sense to most of you. Unfortunately, we get submission every week which prove that there are many writers out there who need to learn these few lessons.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

And the winner is...

Show? Tell? Beuller?

If you are able to take a second look at your own work, and see ways in which to improve a concept so that it can be more successfully developed, the effort will be worthwhile.

Those of you who vote are allowed to assign a range of “0” to “3” points, per entry. Since challengers may not vote for their own stories, a bonus of 2 points is given to a participant's highest-ranked work, if that participant also takes the time to numerically vote on the other entries.

Official judges receive a 30 point allocation, to assign as they see fit. The only restriction is that at most, only half of those points may be given to any single entry (unless there is only one entry, in which case the silly restriction is lifted!), and there is no requirement for a judge to use the entire 30 point allocation.

Jack Calverley is about to put on the “Editor Hat.” It's sort of like the “Sorting Hat” they use at Hogwarts (“Tellurian shower, my ratty fringe! If those kids would start taking real showers, the Sorting Hat wouldn't smell so bad.”), but a little less sarcastic.


The Tellurian Shower

“The Tellurian Showers challenge” by Arisia

Jack Calverley: First, thank you for responding to the challenge. And thank you for responding so very thoroughly (and I like the framing device).

As I read I find five sentences of telling:
• two sentences tell the reader about emotional states
• one sentence tells the reader that people stop talking
• one sentence summarising a verbal exchange
• one sentence telling the reader of the narrator's attitude

And in the reworked text, I find:
• Maryann performs a specific action at a specific time for a specific purpose
• Maryann speculates about Dr Conrad's actions and praises him
• Allan shows (by smiling) his emotional state to the camera
• Allan speaks to us and tells us about a specific alien encounter and so on

To the effect that emotional states are shown through speech and actions, and the story events unfold by people (and aliens) doing things (including speaking).

As to the question "Is that really better?", my understanding of the conventional wisdom (and since I'm still learning, I may not have grasped this correctly) is that, by showing, the reader is placed in the middle of the scene, can engage more intimately with the story world, is more likely to see from the protagonist's viewpoint, and so becomes emotionally sympathetic to the protagonist i.e. emotionally involved in the story and care about what happens.

Although something which I haven't quite grasped is when to stop showing. Even in a scene which is shown, the reader is told many things in single sentences, e.g. "The TV showed a strange object sitting on a runway at an airport" tells us something, and in principle could we not expand that into the cameraman focusing on the object, or someone running away from the object? - and even then analyse the sentences used for showing the sub-scene, down into something else, and so on. Maybe I'm over-analysing but, thinking in terms of a tree diagram, we might have the original tell sentence as the trunk, which we break up into show sentences for each branch, but many of those branch sentences are themselves tell sentences and can be broken up yet further... Where does one stop or is someone about to tell me I've missed the point?

In any case, thank you Arisia for a very clear example and for making me think!


Jack Calverley: 30
Total: 30


Wrap-up...

This was easily the simplest job I've ever had, of scoring a challenge:

1st Place: 30 points — “The Tellurian Showers challenge” by Arisia

Congratulations, Arisia!


Afterword...

So what was the lesson of this challenge?

M: The lesson may be that we need to take a short holiday break, rather than proposing a new challenge this coming Friday. Quite a few schedules are in flux at the moment, and participation has been (predictably) down for a few weeks.

Discussion? Are there people who have been aching to enter a challenge, or propose a challenge, who have not yet had time or opportunity? Or is it better for us to take a brief respite to focus on the season, on our loved ones, and to allow a little back-of-the-stove literary simmering?

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Open Mic Saturday

Good morning all, and welcome to Open Mic Saturday. This is the place to share your news and perhaps do a little bragging. If you're writing a novel: how much progress did you make this week? If you're writing short stories: did you finish anything or submit anything this week? If you've sold or published anything recently, when is it coming out and where can we find it? In short, as a writer, what kind of progress did you make this week?

Or what else is on your mind, that you feel like sharing with the group here?


~brb adds: Looks like we're having problems Disqus again this morning. If you've got anything you're really eager to share, like the following post from Guy Stewart, you might also want to email it to the slushpile email address as a backup.

Guy Stewart writes:

My first REAL novel, INVADER'S GUILT has been searching for a home for a few years now. I loved the world and so I wrote a short story in the place. I sent the story out for a bit...and then all of a sudden a small market called CAST OF WONDERS bit and it sold. Well, the PODCAST of the story is up now at the link below. You can listen to it if you'd like, but I actually wrote it for young adults. If you could steer your kids toward it, I'd be REAL interested in hearing any comments they have...


http://www.castofwonders.org/episodes/

Friday, December 2, 2011

The Friday Challenge — 12/02/2011

Bruce Bethke balances je ne sais quoi against Sturgeon's Law, in this week's episode of the “Slushpile Survival Guide.” • Join the discussion...

Henry Vogel is emotionally involved with inanimate objects. • Join the discussion...

Guy Stewart sings the praises of cinematic grain and a high contrast ratio. • Join the discussion...

Jack Calverley wins our Where There's a Will challenge, by being the only one of us pentametic enough to go iambic. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as Red Planet Day reminds M of his favorite vacation spot, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.


The Tellurian Shower

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:


An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and a winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 4 December 2011.


Parklife

And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, courtesy of Jack Calverley:

The picture is from the musical Little Shop of Horrors (M: Specifically from the 1986 Frank Oz-directed film adaptation of the 1982 musical based on the 1960 Roger Corman-directed comedy that was probably based on a little-known 1932 short story by John Collier, not that any of that matters in this context.), and this week's challenge is to write a scene based on this picture. In no more than 2000 words tell the story of what has just happened, is happening, or is about to happen — but, of course, not set in the world of the musical. It could be in your protagonist's greenhouse, or the villain's greenhouse or a conversation between two extras in Galaxy Quest II, or wherever the mood takes you...



Anyone can enter, except for Jack Calverley. You may enter as many times as you wish, but each entry must be independent of the others, and you may not build on anyone else's work.

Everyone is asked to vote, and to say a few words about what they liked, and why. Or to say a few words about what they disliked, as the case may be; by submitting an entry, you implicitly agree to accept criticism, because there will probably be some handed out, and no one is immune. When voting, please rank a work as either “0” (not so good), “1” (not as bad), “2” (could have been better) or “3” (pretty good stuff!). If you give either a “0” or “3” vote, feel free to argue in support of your reasoning.

Don't like the negativity? Feel free to think of the levels as “0” (Not bad for a first attempt), “1” (Right on!), “2” (Holy cow, I wanna buy this now...) or “3” (Sweet mother of God, how did you write something this awesome?!!). The point is to clearly differentiate, and rank according to your own preference.

For the purposes of this challenge, Jack Calverley will be serving as Ye Olde High Marker, Voluntarily Walking th' Plank.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 9 December 2011. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 11 December 2011.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

Deadline Reminder ... and an “And the winner is...” update!

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — The Tellurian Shower — is 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 2 December 2011... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 6 AM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 4 December 2011.


M: Oops! I knew I was forgetting something, last night. Thanks to ~brb for covering this morning!

I had hoped a few folks would offer feedback for Jack Calverley's entry in the Where There's a Will challenge, but at this point it's best to simply admit that iambic pentameter is not generally our strongest suit, and the challenge — although well conceived — left a lot of us feeling slightly puzzled about how best to form an approach.

Here are the official judge's comments, from Tyler Tork:


I thought Jack's submission was very much in the spirit of my suggestion, and was artfully done. On reflection, I'm sorry I asked for 400 words, because I tried a little of that myself and it's hard! So I'm impressed that he stuck with it, and gave us a nice steam-themed entry with a good conflict of luddite sentiment from the existing power base. I'd probably try to condense it a little for a modern audience.

Congratulations, Jack Calverley! You get all the points. In the absence of anyone stating opposition to the result, that's an uncontested 30 point spread (also unrestricted, since there were no other challengers), combined with implicit “3” votes from every one of the regulars who would have voted, had they not still been in a turkey-induced comatose state.

Slushpile Survival Guide

Here it is, December 1st already, and as many of you have noticed, Stupefying Stories 1.3 is not being released today. We're running about a week behind schedule this month, and I will take full blame for that. (Memo to self: next year, don't even imagine you're going to get any useful work done while in a four-day turkey-induced tryptophan coma.)

Some interesting things to note: at the beginning of the month, we projected receiving about 200 new submissions this month. As of midnight last night, we'd actually logged in well over 300. (I don't have a final number yet.) This includes more than 100 received just in the last full week of the month alone.

The more submissions we receive, the more the ironclad truths of Sturgeon's Law and the 10-80-10 Rule are borne out. About ten percent of the submissions we receive are not even worth passing on to the first readers: either they're just plain so badly written you're left wondering what on Earth gave this person the delusion that he could write (and yes, almost invariably, the author in these cases is a "he"), or else the author can write, but apparently has significant reading comprehension problems. (Submission guidelines, people. Read the submission guidelines.)

The next eighty percent range from not bad, to okay, to pretty darn good. These get our full attention as we decide where they fit in the spectrum. Sometimes a merely not bad or okay story has the potential to be great, given one more rewrite, and as our time permits, we try to pass our thoughts back to the authors. But note that tricky expression: as our time permits. Much as we would love to send each and every story back with a detailed individual critique, there just plain isn't enough time to do so. Sorry.

It's the last ten percent -- the great-but-flawed to just plain great -- that make this job interesting. But even so, sometimes a story can be just plain great, and still not be right for us. You have to accept that making that final cut, to getting an acceptance letter and a publication contract, requires a certain je ne sais quoi composed of equal parts luck, hunch, and mood, and just because we reject a story doesn't mean it might not be perfect for the next market you submit it to.

I sent out thirty acceptances and contracts this week. Truth to tell, sending out acceptances is a lot more fun than sending out rejections.

Afterthought: As long as I'm fixing some tpyos in this morning's post, I may as well add this. The one-month turnaround time mentioned in our submission guidelines was based on an estimated 200 new submissions per month. Given the recent submissions landslide, we're running a bit behind that. If you're wondering what's happened to your story, it's okay to send a polite query, but the key word here is polite. Sending a surly or snotty query is a guaranteed proven way to get your story moved from "still thinking about it" to "reject it now!" status.

Hope this is useful to you. Will write more next week,
~brb

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Ultimate Geek Fu: A Novel and the FOUR Movies (and various and sundry other stuff) Made From IT…

Certainly it’s not a book that’s been made into a record number of movies – that would be 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea which has been screen-played ten times between 1916 and 2002. And no, it’s not Frankenstein, that’s only been done seven times between 1910 and 2004 (the REAL story that is – I’m not counting Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948) or I Was A Teenage Frankenstein (1957)).

I also recognize that my source site might be mistaken as it doesn’t list the correct number of one of my MOST favorite movies of all time: Invasion of the Body Snatchers. From Jack Finney’s (not a Nebula or Hugo winner, but not the worst book ever written, either) 1955 novel The Body Snatchers, Hollywood brought this story to the silver screen four times. In 1956, 1978, 1993 and 2007 this classic novel hit the theaters with varying responses.

Of the 1956 version: “In 1994, Invasion of the Body Snatchers was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant"”.

The 1978 version was hideous – despite the fact that Donald Sutherland and Leonard Nimoy starred in it. Really, really hideous and the only memorable moment is where Donald Sutherland becomes a pod person and walks and screams in a sorta-zombieoid-way. After I watched it once, I threw it away.

The production company and director chose to show the 1993 remake, titled The Body Snatchers (the same as the novel), at the Cannes Film Festival – where it was panned. It also received high praise from Roger Ebert who gave it four stars. Which just goes to show that movie reviews are simply personal opinion writ large. I didn’t like this version, either. They also didn’t mention that while it was certainly shown in the city of Cannes while the festival was taking place – it was shown practically in someone’s back yard…

The fourth version sank virtually without notice despite the star-drawing power of Nicole Kidman (whom I can only barely believe took the part of Carol Bennell) and has since become hard to find.

The only one worth remembering is the first black and white movie. Let me tell you why. It was without a doubt the most creepy film I have ever seen before or since because it made perfect use of Hitchcock’s and Romero’s penchant for understating horror so far that it becomes MORE horrible than the goriest, blood-spatteringest, slasherfest ever produced. Arguments: The Birds – a farmer with his eyes pecked out, slumped in the corner; Night of the Living Dead – the shadows at the foot of the basement stairs as the zombies attack one of the living…

In my humble opinion, it is because black-and-white film, coupled with understatement harkens back to the days of radio: it allows us to use our imaginations. While the remakes of Invasion of the Body Snatchers add blood, gore, sex and sound effects, nothing in them raises goosebumps like the sound of the fog horn/fire/earthquake/tornado/civil defense/air raid siren honking in the background as they flee the city (the scene depicted above).

While the strongest vehicle for imagination stimulation is reading a book (paper or e, I don’t care; reading is reading and requires the use of the mind to change words into pictures), if you’re going to deal with film, then black and white understatement makes for a better experience every time – it certainly did for me in Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Now as Bruce says: “Let the arguments begin!”

Image: http://nighthawknews.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/invasion4.jpg

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