Story-a-Day

Kersley Fitzgerald

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And yet more Overheards

"That was hydro-dramatic."

- The Creature

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Scene: in the car. This actually happened twice.

Creature: Can I have your cement?
Me: My what?
Creature: Your cement.
Me: What's a cement?
Creature: You know, your cement. That we got with the spaghetti.
Me: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Creature: The cement! By your arm. With the sugar!
Me: Huh--ohhh. The peppermint?
Creature: Yes. The peppermint!

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"No. You do not climb up the stairs while in a tent."

- Me

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Scene: Jack and I are talking about how he voted for Obama at school.

Jack: Yooohooo! Obama won! Yeah!
Me: Congratulations, Buddy, but you don't know anything about him.
Jack: I don't know him, but I like him.
Me: Yeah, you and sixty million other people...

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The creature has been learning how to type in PowerPoint. Here's his version of a Birthday party invitation.

"I no some of you will come to my birthday I no one of you will not come to my birthday but I want your mom or dad can come to my birthday if you ask mom if you can come. If they say no well then do not come to my birthday if they say yes then come to my birthday but I don't car how many friends that can come."

He was most disappointed I wouldn't let him hang it on the front door.

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Setting: walking to the car after seeing the latest Batman.

Me: You know how some people go on and on about the cold villains? Like the White Witch in Narnia or Joker here. How they say they're scarier because they're so cold and don't show any emotion? I don't get it. I thought the White Witch was kinda silly and I thought the Joker was funny. Hannibal Lector scared me, though.
Him: Who has electronic fingernails?
Me: Huh? No, Hannibal Lector scares me.

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Setting: Thursday, some old friends of ours came through on their way from Montana to Texas. The next morning, Tom, Jack and I were sitting with "the dad" and their youngest son (J), probably 8 or 9 years old. I think we were talking about Jack's weight.

Friend: Yeah, N (their oldest son) is underweight, too. He just doesn't sit still long enough to eat. A (their middle and largest son) is actually average.
Me: I used to be underweight. Then I got married.
J: And now you're...right on track?
[Everyone starts laughing, and I walk over and kiss him on the top of his head.]
Me: You get points, boy!
Friend: That was a very nice thing to say, J.
J: What else can I ask to get points?

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Story-a-Day is an attempt to bring a small bit of humor and amusement to Mrs. ~brb and Audrey as they fight very serious illnesses. If you have a short, amusing story, please send it to kersley.fitz at yahoo dot com. If you'd prefer, you can drop it in the drop.io (password: challenge) and email me to let me know it's there.