Ultimate Geek Fu: A Novel and the FOUR Movies (and various and sundry other stuff) Made From IT…

Certainly it’s not a book that’s been made into a record number of movies – that would be 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea which has been screen-played ten times between 1916 and 2002. And no, it’s not Frankenstein, that’s only been done seven times between 1910 and 2004 (the REAL story that is – I’m not counting Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein (1948) or I Was A Teenage Frankenstein (1957)).

I also recognize that my source site might be mistaken as it doesn’t list the correct number of one of my MOST favorite movies of all time: Invasion of the Body Snatchers. From Jack Finney’s (not a Nebula or Hugo winner, but not the worst book ever written, either) 1955 novel The Body Snatchers, Hollywood brought this story to the silver screen four times. In 1956, 1978, 1993 and 2007 this classic novel hit the theaters with varying responses.

Of the 1956 version: “In 1994, Invasion of the Body Snatchers was selected for preservation in the United States National Film Registry by the Library of Congress as being "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant"”.

The 1978 version was hideous – despite the fact that Donald Sutherland and Leonard Nimoy starred in it. Really, really hideous and the only memorable moment is where Donald Sutherland becomes a pod person and walks and screams in a sorta-zombieoid-way. After I watched it once, I threw it away.

The production company and director chose to show the 1993 remake, titled The Body Snatchers (the same as the novel), at the Cannes Film Festival – where it was panned. It also received high praise from Roger Ebert who gave it four stars. Which just goes to show that movie reviews are simply personal opinion writ large. I didn’t like this version, either. They also didn’t mention that while it was certainly shown in the city of Cannes while the festival was taking place – it was shown practically in someone’s back yard…

The fourth version sank virtually without notice despite the star-drawing power of Nicole Kidman (whom I can only barely believe took the part of Carol Bennell) and has since become hard to find.

The only one worth remembering is the first black and white movie. Let me tell you why. It was without a doubt the most creepy film I have ever seen before or since because it made perfect use of Hitchcock’s and Romero’s penchant for understating horror so far that it becomes MORE horrible than the goriest, blood-spatteringest, slasherfest ever produced. Arguments: The Birds – a farmer with his eyes pecked out, slumped in the corner; Night of the Living Dead – the shadows at the foot of the basement stairs as the zombies attack one of the living…

In my humble opinion, it is because black-and-white film, coupled with understatement harkens back to the days of radio: it allows us to use our imaginations. While the remakes of Invasion of the Body Snatchers add blood, gore, sex and sound effects, nothing in them raises goosebumps like the sound of the fog horn/fire/earthquake/tornado/civil defense/air raid siren honking in the background as they flee the city (the scene depicted above).

While the strongest vehicle for imagination stimulation is reading a book (paper or e, I don’t care; reading is reading and requires the use of the mind to change words into pictures), if you’re going to deal with film, then black and white understatement makes for a better experience every time – it certainly did for me in Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Now as Bruce says: “Let the arguments begin!”

Image: http://nighthawknews.files.wordpress.com/2010/01/invasion4.jpg

Ruminations of an Old Goat

I'm back after slightly more than a month. My wife's bone marrow transplant is going extremely well, so I'm trying to get back into the swing of things here at the Friday Challenge. Despite the early appearance that this column is about video games, it's actually about writing.

Despite being an Old Goat, I've been known to pick up a video game controller if a game looks particularly interesting to me. As a pencil and paper role playing gamer of long standing, I find myself drawn to video game RPGs when I've got a controller in my hands. The last video RPG I settled down to play was a science fiction epic called Mass Effect. Yes, that game is several years old now. What makes it worse is that I didn't get around to starting on Mass Effect 2, which has been out for about a year and a half, until Saturday morning. (The Boy, of course, has long since played the game through to completion.) I'm not going to go into any descriptions of game play or the story line, so those of you uninterested in video games have nothing to fear. I am going to discuss a couple of scenes as a way of introducing my topic.

The first game ends with the main character, Shepherd, having saved the civilized galaxy. For most of that game, Shepherd and his team flew about the galaxy in a prototype starship called the Normandy. The second game begins with the destruction of the Normandy. Only a few scenes into the game, Shepherd is put in command of the new Normandy. It's this scene which suggested the topic of this column.

When Shepherd is shown to the new Normandy, the game music swells, the game camera pans around the ship, and the player is left with no doubt at all that this is supposed to an emotional scene. There's only one problem; it's not an emotional scene. There was no stirring in my breast, no faster beating heart, no goosebumps. I just wanted to scene to hurry up and end so the story could move. That started me thinking about why the scene failed to stir any emotion besides boredom.

First and foremost, I felt no emotional connection to the original Normandy. It was a neat ship and I certainly wouldn't mind having a little model of it to add my collection of desktop starships at work, but the ship was nothing more than a means of transportation within the game world to me. The reason for that is because the first Mass Effect game did not contain anything to make me think otherwise of the ship. The original game did a good job of building a bond with other characters in the story, but none of those characters acted toward the ship as if it was anything other than a big machine used to get from point A to point B. Since there was no emotion in my breast to stir, the swelling music and camera pans about the new Normandy merely took up game time.

Second, even if I had some emotional connection to the original Normandy, the replacement ship followed too closely on the heels of the loss of the original. There was no time to "mourn" the loss of a beloved ship. There had actually not even been a need to have a star ship available prior to the introduction of the new Normandy. At the very least, the hero needs to suffer some from the loss of the original before the replacement is made available. Yet in Mass Effect 2 the new Normandy was introduced just as the hero was about to head out on his first mission.

If you want an example of how to handle the loss of a thing properly, you need only look as far as Star Trek III: The Search For Spock. Obviously, by the time that movie was released, Star Trek fans had already developed a love of the U.S.S. Enterprise. That love was developed because of the devotion the characters had for the ship. It was common knowledge that Kirk was "married" to his ship. Scotty would get into fights if someone insulted his ship. It was obvious the Enterprise was more than just a means of transportation to the characters. That's why the destruction of the Enterprise in Star Trek III held an emotional impact for the viewers. Something they cared about was gone forever and it stirred emotions within them.

After losing the Enterprise, Kirk and company had to make do with a Klingon Bird of Prey for the rest of the movie and for all of the following movie. There was uncertainty as to how the Klingon ship would handle time travel and whether it could go fast enough to return to the 22nd century while also carrying a pair of whales. The crew suffered physically during both trips in time. In other words, they met the requirement to suffer as a result of the loss of the Enterprise. Finally, at the end of Star Trek IV, the crew rode in a space shuttle toward their new ship. A large, new ship loomed before them, leading the audience and the characters to believe this was the ship. Then the shuttle swept past the large ship and the new Enterprise came into view. Across two movies, the audience shared in the feeling of loss and rebirth for Enterprise.

Star Trek is hardly the only science fiction series to engender feelings for a starship. George Lucas found out just how much Star Wars fans loved the Millennium Falcon when he ran his first audience test for Return of the Jedi. In the original, Lando and the Falcon did not escape the destruction of the second Death Star and the test audience was not pleased. The response was so negative that the movie was changed so the Falcon just managed to get clear. While I'm sure viewers wanted Lando to survive, I'm sure they wanted the Falcon to survive even more. Joss Whedon did an even better job with the ship Serenity in the TV show Firefly and then in the movie Serenity.

The point of all of this is to help you avoid the mistake made in the video game. The lesson is that your readers (or viewers, or players) must have an emotional connection to the person or thing lost before the return of the person or item can have an emotional impact on them. That kind of connection takes time to develop. Then it takes time for the loss to sink in for the characters and audience. Only after the characters and audience have connected and suffered can they react emotionally to the return.

And the winner is...

... going to be announced sometime tomorrow! (Still waiting on the official judge's report, and I'm about to crash for the night.)

Okay, realistically we all know that Jack Calverley won. His was the only valid entry, after all... but lest we forget why we are doing this: The Friday Challenge isn't necessarily about winning, or losing, or even how your own entry scores in relation to all the others (when there are others, that is). The Friday Challenge is about helping you to become a better writer, and hone your craft, and learn to give and receive criticism so that you will be better prepared to boldly send your work into the world.

Even on the occasions when someone wins by default, there are still lessons to be learned... for you, for the individual brave enough to enter the challenge, and yes, even for those of us entrusted with keys to the madhouse.

If you have not yet weighed in, please take a moment and read Jack's entry. Tell us how you think he did with “The First Age of Steame,” in our Where There's a Will challenge.

Open Mic Saturday

Good morning all, and welcome to Open Mic Saturday. This is the place to share your news and perhaps do a little bragging. If you're writing a novel: how much progress did you make this week? If you're writing short stories: did you finish anything or submit anything this week? If you've sold or published anything recently, when is it coming out and where can we find it? In short, as a writer, what kind of progress did you make this week?

Or what else is on your mind, that you feel like sharing with the group here?

The Friday Challenge — 11/25/2011

This week in The Friday Challenge:

Anne McCaffrey has gone between. Dragons the world over are keening. • Join the discussion...

The Drink Tank celebrates a milestone, with a contribution from one of our own. • Join the discussion...

Kersley Fitzgerald asks whether holidays are organic, relevant, undercooked, or well done. • Join the discussion...

Jack Calverley wins our Limbo! (a.k.a., "How Low Can You Go?") challenge, by being the last man standing. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as the Tetrarchy gives thanks for your participation, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.


Where There's a Will...

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As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:

• “The First Age of Steame” by Jack Calverley
  

Yes, we are in the midst of our annual holiday slump, and participation is a little lower right now. We're looking at it as a way to catch our breath.

An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and a winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 27 November 2011.


The Tellurian Shower

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And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, courtesy of Jack Calverley:

We are always being told, “show, don't tell.” Well, now is your opportunity to show “show, don't tell.”

This week's challenge is to write a single scene, in two radically different ways: one telling, and one showing.

The two versions of the scene, taken together, should add up to no more than 2000 words, but the length of each version of the scene is entirely up to you. (e.g., You may show your scene in one sentence and tell it in fifty... or show it in fifty and tell it in one.)

Anyone can enter, except for Jack Calverley. You may enter as many times as you wish, but each entry must be independent of the others, and you may not build on anyone else's work.

Everyone is asked to vote, and to say a few words about what they liked, and why. Or to say a few words about what they disliked, as the case may be; by submitting an entry, you implicitly agree to accept criticism, because there will probably be some handed out, and no one is immune. When voting, please rank a work as either “0” (not so good), “1” (not as bad), “2” (could have been better) or “3” (pretty good stuff!). If you give either a “0” or “3” vote, feel free to argue in support of your reasoning.

Don't like the negativity? Feel free to think of the levels as “0” (Not bad for a first attempt), “1” (Right on!), “2” (Holy cow, I wanna buy this now...) or “3” (Sweet mother of God, how did you write something this awesome?!!). The point is to clearly differentiate, and rank according to your own preference.

For the purposes of this challenge, Jack Calverley will be serving as Ye Olde High Marker, Voluntarily Walking th' Plank.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 2 December 2011. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 4 December 2011.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Deadline Reminder

Tomorrow morning's Friday Challenge will be a few hours later than usual, due to holiday preparations. (Celebrating Thanksgiving with family... which means you have a few extra hours to work on your iambic pentameter. Heck, with all that extra time you could even look up what iambic pentameter means, or amuse yourselves by faking it, while you stand in those unpleasant Black Friday queues... assuming anyone here is foolish brave enough to face the crowds.)

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — Where There's a Will... — is 11:59 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 25 November 2011... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 27 November 2011.

Critical Thinking

First off, you're supposed to be spending time with your friends and family. What are you doing here?

Oh. It's Friday? And you're avoiding the crowds? Fair enough.

As I write this on Wednesday night, listening to Maj Tom and the Creature playing Wii, my thoughts turn to the obscene amount of food we will ingest tomorrow. Which makes me think about holidays. And holidays in novels.

The most immediate that comes to mind is the titular event of the Hunger Games Trilogy—probably because I just finished it, for the second time, yesterday. The series is centered on an annual "game" wherein two children from each district are taken to an arena and left until only one remains alive. "The Capital" hosts the event, calling it punishment for a revolution that occurred seventy-four years prior. It's a combination of Big Brother and gladiator fights, if an eleven-year-old girl can be considered a gladiator.

Anne McCaffrey used social events quite a bit in the Pern books. Gathers are periodic open-air markets where people can meet and sell and buy. When a clutch of dragon eggs are set to hatch, dignitaries are flown in from around the world to watch. The commission of a new lord is also a social affair. All of these events are great plot tools. People who don't normally interact are thrust together. Characters have the opportunity to spy and sneak in new places. Deals can be made and broken, and carry the plot along nicely.

JRR Tolkien was a bit more traditional. Bilbo Baggins's birthday is an elaborate affair that serves to reintroduce Gandalf and allow Bilbo to disappear. Similarly, the children in CS Lewis's The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe receive their gifts from Father Christmas.

I think holidays in stories, whether made up or traditional, need two essential elements: they must be organic to the culture and relevant to the plot. Gathers are essential to the social structure of Pern because the relatively small population is held hostage by the thread of thread—silvery ribbons that fall from another planet and eat all living things they came in contact with. Hatchings are a genuine celebration because more dragons mean the planet is better able to fight thread. The hunger games are directly linked to the culture as a way for the Capital to continue to suppress the districts. Of course, the games are also relevant to the plot because the story is that of a girl who goes through the games.

I'm not sure about Bilbo's birthday. It certainly covers several points, including Gandalf's arrival, Bilbo's vanity, and the Hobbits' penchant for celebration, but do those points deserve the weight of the huge birthday celebration? It's possibly justified by the fact that the LOTR is such a saga, which gives it more permission to go off on tangents. Santa in TLTWTW is less weighty and yet more relevant to the story. The points of Santa's coming are to show the witch's hold on the weather is slipping and grant the kids' their necessary weapons—weapons they would use throughout several books. But the scene is short and remains in the context of their flight from the witch.

How about you? What comes to mind when you think of celebrations and holidays in novels? Who has done it well? Who hasn't? How would you change it?

For more, check out the video here.

And Happy Thanksgiving!

Ultimate Geek Fu

Today's scheduled Ultimate Geek Fu has been preempted by the sad news of the passing of Anne McCaffrey. If you want a UGF question to debate: what's your favorite Anne McCaffrey novel or story, and why?

Comments are being taken on this thread: .

Loss

Anne McCaffrey has gone between. Dragons the world over are keening.

The Drink Tank #300

Christopher J Garcia and I met in Reno, barely an hour or so after The Drink Tank won the 2011 Hugo Award for Best Fanzine. Within moments of running into each other, Chris was telling me about his plans for issue #300... and invited me to contribute, if I had anything "fannish" to offer.

Less than twenty-four hours later, on the flight home, I wrote most of "When the Pupil Is Ready," which was, this evening, included as #250 (pp. 183-184) in the special issue. Congratulations to a remarkable fanzine, on a remarkable milestone! Thank you for allowing me to be involved.

Visit the page on eFanzines.com, or click here to read the latest issue of The Drink Tank (#300):

And the winner is...

In a traditional limbo contest, you keep lowering the bar until only one person can shimmy under it, without falling over or bumping the bar. In a non-traditional limbo contest, you start with a bottle of baby oil, a fifth of tequila, and... uh, never mind.

If any of you are able to take a second look at your own work, and see ways in which to improve a concept so that it can be more successfully developed, the effort will be worthwhile.

Those of you who vote are allowed to assign a range of “0” to “3” points, per entry. Since challengers may not vote for their own stories, a bonus of 2 points is given to a participant's highest-ranked work, if that participant also takes the time to numerically vote on the other entries.

Official judges receive a 30 point allocation, to assign as they see fit. The only restriction is that at most, only half of those points may be given to any single entry (unless there is only one entry, in which case the silly restriction is lifted!), and there is no requirement for a judge to use the entire 30 point allocation.

J.M. Perkins is about to put on the “Editor Hat.” It's sort of like the “Sorting Hat” they use at Hogwarts (“In the first draft, I was written as a set of ‘Sorting Earmuffs.’”), but a little less sarcastic.


Limbo! (a.k.a., "How Low Can You Go?")

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“First Novel, First Chapter (First Section)” by Jack Calverley

J.M. Perkins: Jack, thank you so much for participating: you get all the points! I know it can feel like a hollow victory when nobody else participates; but you've obviously put a lot of effort and thought into reworking your First chapter. You've obviously improved, and what I think is most interesting is how your process has changed in the _ years since you first wrote these words: ie your use of a synopsis and the change in tense.

xdpaul: 1 / Jack Calverley: thanked xdpaul for feedback!
J.M. Perkins: 30
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 33


Wrap-up...

---

“There can be only one.” That would make a good movie quote, wouldn't it? Only one entered, so that one won, but the victory is no less deserving of recognition simply because everyone else was slacking off:

1st Place: 33 points — First Novel, First Chapter (First Section)” by Jack Calverley

Congratulations, Jack Calverley! As a recent winner, you have the option of proposing next week's challenge, scheduled to be announced the morning of Friday, 25 November 2011, or of offering a chance to wear the “Editor Hat” to a challenger of your choice.


Afterword...

---

So what was the lesson of this challenge?

J.M. Perkins: I find, that while I had an awesome imagination for world and critical technologies/magical elements back in the day, I didn't really understand character; probably still don't. I can revisit the world the spun about in my young head, but I can't bring myself to retell the same old stories “peopled” with person shaped facsimiles pushed around by the needs of the plot I'd cobbled together to show off whatever “gee whiz” element I wanted to demo.

Which brings me to my next point: without knowing it, I kinda, sorta, maybe made an impossible challenge. Because we are not merely better writers (hopefully), we are better story tellers and so rewriting one section alone misses the point. Or — barring any sense of improvement — we are different writers, different story tellers. Some common threads remain but I — at least — am not telling the stories I used to tell. Improvement in the nuts and bolts of prose is well and good, but the bigger question is how we approach character, pacing and the thousands telling details to inspire empathy and concern in readers for the shit we make up.

Open Mic Saturday

Good morning all, and welcome to Open Mic Saturday. This is the place to share your news and perhaps do a little bragging. If you're writing a novel: how much progress did you make this week? If you're writing short stories: did you finish anything or submit anything this week? If you've sold or published anything recently, when is it coming out and where can we find it? In short, as a writer, what kind of progress did you make this week?

Or what else is on your mind, that you feel like sharing with the group here?

The Friday Challenge — 11/18/2011

This week in The Friday Challenge:

Bruce Bethke continues the “Slushpile Survival Guide,” and guess what? There really are reasons for all those submission guidelines (especially Rule 86!). • Join the discussion...

Bruce Bethke presents 2011: The Year in ReFu, which is, by all accounts, a long-established tradition in these parts. Really, it is. Take our word for it. • Join the discussion...

Somebody forgets to post any other content this week! We're not pointing any fingers... but you know that article you said you were writing? You're welcome. • Join the discussion...

Tyler Tork wins our Ambrosia Manna Gruel challenge, by picking pomegranates to pieces. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as between Sadie Hawkins Day and National Adoption Day lots of single fellahs find themselves family men, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.


Limbo! (a.k.a., "How Low Can You Go?")

---

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:

• “First Novel, First Chapter (First Section)” by Jack Calverley
  

An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and a winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 13 November 2011.


Where There's a Will...

---

And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, courtesy of Tyler Tork:

If you ask people to name a great writer, you're likely to hear one name a lot: William Shakespeare. Old Bill did a lot of cool stuff, and he was very versatile. Comedy, tragedy, nihilism — oh wait, that was some other guy. But anyway, one thing a lot of his work has in common is that it was written in iambic pentameter, generally unrhymed. Your challenge for this week is to emulate Mr. S. and write a scene of some dialogue in iambic pentameter. Include stage directions and brief descriptions of the characters if you like, but there should be at least 400 words of actual dialogue. Make us laugh, make us cry, make us wonder — whatever — but do it in the classic meter. Rhyme or not, as you choose and as suits your theme.

Anyone can enter, except for Tyler Tork. You may enter as many times as you wish, but each entry must be independent of the others, and you may not build on anyone else's work.

Everyone is asked to vote, and to say a few words about what they liked, and why. Or to say a few words about what they disliked, as the case may be; by submitting an entry, you implicitly agree to accept criticism, because there will probably be some handed out, and no one is immune. When voting, please rank a work as either “0” (not so good), “1” (not as bad), “2” (could have been better) or “3” (pretty good stuff!). If you give either a “0” or “3” vote, feel free to argue in support of your reasoning.

Don't like the negativity? Feel free to think of the levels as “0” (Not bad for a first attempt), “1” (Right on!), “2” (Holy cow, I wanna buy this now...) or “3” (Sweet mother of God, how did you write something this awesome?!!). The point is to clearly differentiate, and rank according to your own preference.

For the purposes of this challenge, Tyler Tork will be serving as Ye Olde High Marker, Voluntarily Walking th' Plank.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 25 November 2011. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 27 November 2011.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Deadline Reminder

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — Limbo! (a.k.a., "How Low Can You Go?") — is 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 18 November 2011... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 6 AM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 20 November 2011.

Ultimate Geek Fu

My goodness, look at the calendar. Only 40 shopping days left until Hanuramakwanzmas, and you know what that means. Yes, it's time once again* for 2011: The Year in ReFu!

* At least, it would be again, if we'd remembered to do it last year.

Meaning that today, and for the next few Wednesdays, we're going to be revisiting Great Moments in Geek Fulery from the year now rapidly drawing to a close, with an eye towards helping you pick out those great gifts that will look so wonderful when wrapped in the traditional Tyvek and burlap and placed under your family's Hanuramakwanzmas pencil cactus, and when given and opened will warm the little atrial chambers of your favorite Geek's heart!

Today's list: MOVIES! And the nominees are:

Top 5 Sci-Fi/Superhero Movies of 2011
1. Captain America. It's exciting! It's fun! It's patriotic, in a safely distant way! It's full of sly little cross-references to Iron Man, Thor, and a whole lot of other obscure bits of the Marvel universe (the Howlin' Commandos and Dr. Phineas Horton's Synthetic Man, anyone?), and evidence that Marvel is currently in the process of building a sprawling multi-generational saga the likes of which George Lucas can only dream of creating. Buy it today!

2. Battle: Los Angeles. It's everything Independence Day and the Tom Cruise version of War of the Worlds aspired and failed to be. It's a great modern-day sci-fi alien invasion splat-'em-up with real heart and soul, and none of the insubordination and "relationship issues" nonsense that Hollywood always seems to think belongs in a military movie. If you're looking for an example of good, taut, tight, action/adventure storytelling, this is the movie to watch and study. Plus, a whole lot of #$*& blows up, and best of all: no Will Smith!

3. Um.... Uh...  Er..... Did I say five? I meant two. The Top 2 Sci-Fi/Superhero Movies of 2011!  (What, you want to nominate Cowboys & Aliens? Why not Mega Python Vs. Gatoroid, while you're at it?)

Most Disappointing Sci-Fi/Superhero Movie of 2011
Oh, this is a toughie, but I'll have to go with Green Lantern. To be disappointing a movie must engender some hope that it might be good, first, but I never had any hope that Super 8 would do anything but suck and as soon as I saw that The Green Hornet starred Seth Rogen, I knew it was a write-off. Any other nominees?

Most Truly 21st Century Sci-Fi/Superhero Movie Actor
Hands down, the winner must be Andy Serkis, who follows up his starring roles as Gollum in The Lord of the Rings and the eponymous big ape in King Kong with his remarkable performance as Caesar in Rise of the Planet of the Apes. Except, when you're not actually on-camera yourself, but rather are providing the physical motion-capture modeling for a CGI creature, is it acting, or puppetry, or stunt work, or... just what the heck is it?

Whatever it is, it's terrific, and just as soon as they get the skin texture and "dead eyes" issues solved, we can expect to begin seeing CGI Angelina Jolie and the rest of her ilk to live on in movies for centuries to come. Scary thought, innit?

Most Ignored Movie of 2011
I dunno. The Adjustment Bureau? Apollo 18? I have no idea; I ignored them. Did anyone else go see any of these movies?

Most Trepidation
That would have to be reserved for The Adventures of Tintin, which is slated for a U.S. release in late December. I mean, just look at the cast: Daniel Craig. Jamie Bell. Andy Serkis (not an ape, this time). Simon Pegg. Nick Frost. Cary Elwes. It should be great.

But then, look at the director. If anyone can take Tintin, suck every last bit of life and fun out of the original material, and turn it into a painful, plodding, overwrought, overblown, and epic botch, it's... Oh, I can't even say it.

Anyway, those are my picks. How about you?

Let the arguments begin!

The Slushpile Survival Guide

Continued from last week...

Something I've begun to notice, as I read the something-hundredth cover letter, is just how many of them end with some variation on, "I hope you enjoy my story!"

Allow me to let you in on a little secret. You don't hope we enjoy your story even half as much as we hope we enjoy it.

This is not school, or even your writing group. We don't read stories to find nits to pick, reasons to dock you points, or excuses to write rejections. We read stories to find ones we want to accept for publication, and begin reading each new submission with the hope that this story is going to be one that's so good that by the time we finish it, we'll be champing at the bit to share it with the world.

So why do most stories end up being rejected?

To some extent it's a numbers game. In any given month we receive about 200 submissions and can publish about 10, so of necessity some pretty aggressive winnowing must take place. However, there are also a number of fudge factors and inventory level issues that come into play, which I don't feel like explaining now, but suffice to say your story must rank in the top quintile to have a realistic chance of being accepted.

Lest you feel daunted, though, remember that this also is a dynamic and competitive ranking, and after you take a good look at the competition, you'll see that making it into the top quintile is not nearly as difficult as the raw numbers might suggest.

Here's why.

The first point of failure for many writers comes either from not reading the submission guidelines or else from imagining they don't apply to you. Believe it or not, publishers do not post submission guidelines just to be officious prigs. We really are trying to give you the information you need in order to help you decide, before you send the submission, whether this is really the right place to be sending this particular story.

So if a publisher's guidelines state something like, say, "Absolutely no coprophagia stories," it very likely means they don't publish coprophagia stories, and not that they simply have not yet known the joy of reading your brilliant paean to the pleasures of coprophagia. I mean, do you really think that Catholic Digest is the right place to send your paranormal erotica story that features an explicit sex scene in which a vampire priest sodomizes an acolyte with a lit altar candle?

Apparently about ten-percent of aspiring authors do, because that's roughly how many of our submissions get rejected on receipt for egregious violations of Rule 86. They don't even make it as far as the slushpile. Another ten-percent slip through the initial screening and get into the slushpile, but immediately trigger the gag reflex of the first person who pulls it out and actually begins reading it.

So that takes care of the lowest quintile.

The second point of failure usually becomes evident only after we have finished reading the submission and made the frustrating discovery that it wasn't actually a story. We see this most often with flash fiction, but have seen it in manuscripts up to 10,000 words in length. The material might be most of a story. It might even be the fascinating wreckage of a story. But a story, by definition, has an ending.

As an editor, one of the most frustrating things to see is a near-story that is simply brilliant for the first twenty pages, and then collapses into a puddle of formless goo in the last paragraphs before the author declares "The End" on page 21. As a reader, one of the most frustrating things to see is a story that stops abruptly in mid-air and leaves you asking, "Hey! Where's the rest of it?"

This is closely coupled to the third failure mode, in which the story actually is complete and does have an ending, but the ending consists of the author's suddenly upending a Gatorade bucket full of despair and nihilism on the reader's head.

Tragic endings are okay. Some of the most powerful stories in all literature have heart-rendingly tragic endings. But pointless tragedy is too much like the morning paper or the evening news, and it's not what people read fiction for. That weird Goth chick who edited your college's literary magazine may have really gotten off on reading bleak and gloomy stories that wallowed in the ugly existential meaninglessness of it all, but no one else does.

Remember, when you ask someone to read your fiction, you are asking them to give you something very precious: their time. Therefore you have an obligation to your readers to use their time well, and to bring your story to a conclusion that leaves them feeling the time they spent reading it was worthwhile. Of all the feelings it is possible to leave a reader with at the end of a story, the absolutely worst one is, "Well, there went an hour of my life that I'll never get back again."

Thus, taken together, the non-ending and the pointless and depressing ending knock off the next two quintiles. So what differentiates the top two quintiles, and separates the merely good from the really great?

Well, I need to have something to write about in the next column, don't I?

Hope this is useful to you. Will write more next week,
~brb

And the winner is...

Some stories are savory. Some are sweet. And some? Well, those last few you probably wouldn't want to put in your mouth.

If any of you are able to take a second look at your own work, and see ways in which to improve a concept so that it can be more successfully developed, the effort will be worthwhile.

Those of you who vote are allowed to assign a range of “0” to “3” points, per entry. Since challengers may not vote for their own stories, a bonus of 2 points is given to a participant's highest-ranked work, if that participant also takes the time to numerically vote on the other entries.

Official judges receive a 30 point allocation, to assign as they see fit. The only restriction is that at most, only half of those points may be given to any single entry, and there is no requirement for a judge to use the entire 30 point allocation.

Jack Calverley is about to put on the “Editor Hat.” It's sort of like the “Sorting Hat” they use at Hogwarts (“What this one needs is a little paprika...”), but a little less sarcastic.


Ambrosia Manna Gruel

---

“70 Percent Monsters” by xdpaul

Jack Calverley: I think this is a great story. It has a consistent and individual narrative voice, and the story unfolds at a good pace. I am effortlessly drawn into the setting, with enough clues to “get it” but without any laboured descriptions. My interested is piqued by the intrigue around Mack — and who is not curious to know what happened to those who leave their home town and apparently “make it” in the big city? — it is schadenfreude waiting to happen. And ultimately, of course, the story is also the story of how it got written, which is a nice touch.

It is hard to pinpoint areas which might be improved by reworking. Thinking about the characters:

The protagonist has no prospects, he is a self-confessed loser and may be about to lose even his job. So why isn't he *really* keen to make some kind of story out of this, to find or even create an angle? OK, possibly, because he is a loser, and all his life has failed to do just that. And yet he has this sharp dry wit, which should come through in his journalism, and, like this story, be very readable. I suppose I'm worrying about why he is the loser he is, and why he is not more worried about his job; because, on the face of it, he comes across as normal and competent.

It wasn't clear to me why both the girl and Mack were so eager to explain what happened, even though their stories differed slightly, I presume they are both werewolves (or she's a werebear?), but would they not want to keep the truth hidden?

And what possessed the narrator to say “no way”? Aside from its being ill-advised at that moment, it also offered the chance of a big story that would make the front page (or electronic equivalent) and perhaps save his job and attract interest in the newspaper.

But these are minor quibbles because I felt the story had a momentum which kept it going to the end. Although, in the end, the story was one missed meal away (him) from being about food.

J.M. Perkins: 0 (but “Totally dug this story...”) / Tyler Tork: 2 / xdpaul: voted!
Jack Calverley: 9
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 13

---

“Cabbage Heads” by Tyler Tork

Jack Calverley: I think this is another great story. And a good title too, serving (as the story does) both a descriptive and metaphorical purpose. I am straight away in the valley with the main character. I think the names and titles are effective and provide information as well as atmosphere. I think the whole scheme of the story — of impetuous youth against the wisdom of experience (with, prima facie, not very good odds) — is an efficiently told allegory. I am drawn into the story and caught in the intrigue of how on earth the old man is going to win. I especially like the way I am shown, by the Witness casually picking apart the pomegranate, that she knows what is going to happen, that the outcome is sadly inevitable. And the last line brings the story to a neat conclusion.

Again, I am struggling to find aspects of the story of which to be critical, or, constructive in an alternate way. Just possibly, some tension might have been introduced early on, after the old man sees the visitors on the road, when perhaps he should worry more about getting back to the house before them so he can prepare properly; correct preparation contributes to keeping him alive.

And the story does of course, quite clearly pivot around food.

J.M. Perkins: 1.5 / Tyler Tork: voted! / xdpaul: 3
Jack Calverley: 12
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 18.5

---

“The Banquet” by J.M. Perkins

Jack Calverley: Another great story: the arriviste and his djinn. I thought this was well written and engaging. We have solid motivation in jealousy and revenge. I really like descriptions such as “brown grass crackling into ash”. I think the echo of Alice in Wonderland “Eat Me” is an interesting way to develop the story - possibly the food need not have been labeled nor Carroll mentioned, I think it would have been sufficient merely to show the effects as they occurred. In this respect, I would have liked to have seen more of what went on. Why did the guests go on their trips (if I may call them that)? Was it just to feel different, or were there other consequences. I would have liked to have seen this explored a little.

I like the fact that the djinn was a wedding gift and Brian was in fact mostly show. I do wonder whether, since the motivation of the djinn is key to the plot, there might have been some foreshadowing of the motivation right at the start of the story, so that the key to making the world right was always present.

Somehow, I did feel the story ended rather abruptly. I guess it means: happy ever after, but somehow I didn't feel satisfied. It is almost as if this were half the story and I needed to see what happens next, with the expectation that it is not going to go to plan (why trust the djinn?). I can't quite put my finger on why this is the case. The story in itself is complete. Perhaps if I had learned more about Ethan's thoughts, doubts and insights as he struggled with his decision to take the seed, then I might have felt that he had changed, grown or matured, by the mere fact of making the decision, and his life would be different the next time round. That, in a sense, he had earned it. And my seeing him earn it would occupy sufficient story real-estate to make his emotional journey strong and real and the taking of the seed would be a full stop to the decision process rather than showing me the decision itself.

J.M. Perkins: voted! / Tyler Tork: 1.5 / xdpaul: 2
Jack Calverley: 9
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 14.5


Wrap-up...

---

When all the scores were tallied, we wound up with the following tasteful ranking of our challengers:

3rd Place: 13 points — “70 Percent Monsters” by xdpaul

2nd Place: 14.5 points — “The Banquet” by J.M. Perkins

1st Place: 18.5 points — “Cabbage Heads” by Tyler Tork

Congratulations, Tyler Tork! As winner, you are hereby invited to propose next week's challenge, scheduled to be announced the morning of Friday, 18 November 2011.


Afterword...

---

So what was the lesson of this challenge?

Jack Calverley: I think the question of how stories develop is an interesting one. IMHO creativity is often inversely proportional to the constraints imposed on a narrator. In these terms a simple what-if? is a constraint, and perhaps asking for food to play a pivotal role in the plot is somewhat looser (and perhaps, on reflection, less helpful). I liked all the stories this week and thought they were all well written (ignoring any oddities/typos that might be mopped up if edited with a fresh eye in a few days' time). I find it difficult to score them absolutely, so my scoring is essentially a ranking, and for me the deciding factors became: the question of the challenge, balance in the plot/structure, and the relationship between the story and any themes. Although, just maybe, I am rationalising away gut reaction ;)

Open Mic Saturday

Good morning all, and welcome to Open Mic Saturday. This is the place to share your news and perhaps do a little bragging. If you're writing a novel: how much progress did you make this week? If you're writing short stories: did you finish anything or submit anything this week? If you've sold or published anything recently, when is it coming out and where can we find it? In short, as a writer, what kind of progress did you make this week?

Or what else is on your mind, that you feel like sharing with the group here?

The Friday Challenge — 11/11/2011

This week in The Friday Challenge:

... will be posted a little later in the morning! Re-writing the time stream ain't like it used to be...

Bruce Bethke presents a second episode of the “Slushpile Survival Guide,” in which our hero learns to see in the dark. • Join the discussion...

Bruce Bethke assures us that sometimes it's more effective to fling strawberry jam at a window. • Join the discussion...

Kersley Fitzgerald commiserates over the plight of chaste elves. • Join the discussion...

J.M. Perkins wins our CTRL+ALT+DELDELDEL...∞ challenge, by being bewildering, powerless and alone. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as Veteran's Day reminds us that freedom isn't really free, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.


Ambrosia Manna Gruel

---

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:

• “70 Percent Monsters” by xdpaul
  
  
• “Cabbage Heads” by Tyler Tork
  
  
• “The Banquet” by J.M. Perkins
  

An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and a winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 13 November 2011.


Limbo! (a.k.a., "How Low Can You Go?")

---

And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, courtesy of J.M. Perkins:

So here's my prompt for this week. Find a passage from your oldest and shittiest work you have access to (your first 16 year old short story, your first novel, that thing you wrote right after Jennie dumped you) and rewrite it. With luck, this will give everyone a sense of encouragement about just how far we've come as writers.

M: Sounds interesting, right? I did a little digging through my own files, in search of the most execrable prose ever vomited from my pen:

Sammy was a skunk. He was a good skunk but he stunk. He played in the road and a car almost ran over him but the driver said something smell's bad and turned the car. That is why it is good that skunks smell bad.

I've typed that exactly as it was written, thirty-one years ago, in blunt pencil upon faded construction paper.

Doing so left me feeling conflicted about the challenge. My head was filled with visions of Friday Challengers ransacking the refrigerator-magnet mementos of ages past, for victims.

But surely, the notion of rewriting a work to salvage it is noble, right?

Sammy was a skunk. He was a good skunk but he stunk...

All right, I could rewrite that. Spacefaring skunk-boy is saved from becoming a handful of strawberry jam, flung at the nearest window, when the careless driver of a flying car realizes methyl and butyl thiols shouldn't be detectable in the upper troposphere.

Maybe not.

But maybe you'll have better luck than I did?

Anyone can enter, except for J.M. Perkins. You may enter as many times as you wish, but each entry must be independent of the others, and you may not build on anyone else's work.

Everyone is asked to vote, and to say a few words about what they liked, and why. Or to say a few words about what they disliked, as the case may be; by submitting an entry, you implicitly agree to accept criticism, because there will probably be some handed out, and no one is immune. When voting, please rank a work as either “0” (not so good), “1” (not as bad), “2” (could have been better) or “3” (pretty good stuff!). If you give either a “0” or “3” vote, feel free to argue in support of your reasoning.

Don't like the negativity? Feel free to think of the levels as “0” (Not bad for a first attempt), “1” (Right on!), “2” (Holy cow, I wanna buy this now...) or “3” (Sweet mother of God, how did you write something this awesome?!!). The point is to clearly differentiate, and rank according to your own preference.

For the purposes of this challenge, J.M. Perkins will be serving as Ye Olde High Marker, Voluntarily Walking th' Plank.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 18 November 2011. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 20 November 2011.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Fitz of Distraction

---

Kersley's sorry she's late. She got distracted. No, not making owls.



Drawing baby krakens.

Deadline Reminder

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — Ambrosia Manna Gruel — is 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 11 November 2011... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 6 AM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 13 November 2011.

Ultimate Geek Fu

What, it's Wednesday morning already and no one has posted an Ultimate Geek Fu?

All right then, here's a quickie. The weekend before last, on a hunch, we rented and watched Attack the Block, and loved all 88 minutes of it. Here's why.

Attack the Block is a low-budget British sci-fi/action/horror/comedy thing that came out a few months ago and pretty much sank without a ripple, which is a shame. It's exciting. It's fun. It's a movie with all the brio of a 1950s sci-fi drive-in scarer brought up to 21st century standards, without all the self-referential winks and smirks that contemporary screenwriters can't seem to resist throwing in, and without an insane amount of money being spent on redoing in CGI effects that worked better with models and puppets. It's proof that sometimes the most effective special effect is just to have a character step out of view of the camera, scream once, and then fling a handful of strawberry jam at the window.

Or to put it another way: if you were disappointed by the latest remake of The Thing, you'll love Attack the Block.

In terms of science fiction plotting, there's nothing terribly new and original about this one. Murderous alien invaders land in South London on Guy Fawkes night, the incessant fireworks neatly providing cover for their landing and initial depredations. A bunch of teenagers are the only ones who see the landing and recognize the threat, but no one will believe them, so they decide it's up to them to defend their block—their housing project, in American terms—from the invasion. From there the action unfolds in a variety of clever but not wildly original ways, until it reaches a very satisfying conclusion.

This film is definitely not for everyone. These teens aren't your standard American rebels-with-hearts-of-gold, and they definitely aren't the Cosby Kids; they're housing project thugs, who we first meet as they're mugging the woman who turns out to be the female lead. The language, when you can understand it, is relentlessly foul. (Most of the characters speak a sort of South London ghetto patois that is only technically English. We watched about half the film with the subtitles switched on.) There are a lot of drug references and drug humor, the drug users and dealers quite naturally being the only ones who are equipped, emotionally and materially, to deal with hostile aliens. There is a lot of violence, although by American standards, there was only one one-second flashed image that was actually graphic.

But if you can get past all that, and accept the idea that sometimes it might take a bunch of (mostly) black housing-project kids to save the world, it's a fast-paced and fun film with a good heart, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

How about you? Are there any overlooked films from the past few months that you would recommend going out of your way to find?

Let the arguments begin.

The Slushpile Survival Guide

Continued from last week...

One more thing I want to add to last week's column on file format, and I really can't believe I have to say this: but after you've written your story; after you've poured your heart and soul out onto the page; after you have (it is devoutly to be wished) proofread and polished your words to the shining pinnacle of perfection; after you have written the perfect obsequious and ingratiating cover letter; as you are poised at the very moment of submission, with your virtual finger hovering over the virtual Send button—

Take one more look, to make certain your manuscript file is attached to your cover letter, before you hit Send.

Hard to believe, I know, but roughly every other day we receive a cover letter without an attached submission. It is true that we editors have incredible powers, bordering on the superhuman, but even we can't read and comment on a story that you haven't actually sent.

---

Today, I'd like to take a minute or two to talk about point of view. Not in the traditional writing group sense of, "Is it better to use first-person or third-person?," or anything like that. As far as that goes, I say, go ahead: use whichever point of view you think works for the way you want to tell your story. Heck, tell it all in second-person future tense, if you think that works best for this story and believe you can pull it off.

But once you pick a point of view, use it consistently.

Again, no, not in the writing group sense of "Never shift point of view." Third-person limited, alternating point of view, can work. Even alternating first-person and third-person can work. And sometimes, a sudden dramatic shift to a different point of view is the only way to really carry the ending off with impact.

But in the moments when you are seeing the story unfold from a given character's perspective, really think about what that character can actually see and hear in that moment.

Your point of view character is stumbling through a pitch-black cave, his torch has gone out, and suddenly he feels a deadly Brown Recluse spider crawling up the back of his neck? Whoa, wait. It's pitch-black. How can he possibly know what species it is? How can he even be certain it's a spider?

We see this sort of thing often. Characters routinely see things with the naked eye that they couldn't possibly see without a telescope, a microscope, night-vision gear, or high-speed slow-motion photography. Conversations revealing key plot points take place after the point-of-view character has left the room. Characters have information that they could not possibly have, given where they were and what they could see and hear at the time the event in question took place.

It's a cinematic story-telling technique, and you can get away with it, in a script. When it comes to movies and TV programs, we are all used to the idea of being that all-seeing invisible giant eyeball that's floating around the set, looking into whatever seems interesting at the moment. In fact, when filmmakers try to shoot from the first-person point of view, it's an obtrusive effect that really calls attention to itself and is tolerable only in small doses.

But our brains process stories presented in images differently from stories presented in written words, and in print, it's these superhuman flashes of momentary omniscience that become obtrusive and pull the reader out of the story. And whatever other effects you may be trying to achieve with your writing, one thing you don't want to do is to make the reader stop reading, step back from the story, and ask, "Huh? What the heck is [author name] trying to pull, here?"

Hope this is useful to you. Will write more next week,
~brb

And the winner is...

What would your life be like if you woke up and learned there was no such thing as The Friday Challenge, and never had been? Now there's a scary notion...

If any of you are able to take a second look at your own work, and see ways in which to improve a concept so that it can be more successfully developed, the effort will be worthwhile.

Those of you who vote are allowed to assign a range of “0” to “3” points, per entry. Since challengers may not vote for their own stories, a bonus of 2 points is given to a participant's highest-ranked work, if that participant also takes the time to numerically vote on the other entries.

Official judges receive a 30 point allocation, to assign as they see fit. The only restriction is that at most, only half of those points may be given to any single entry, and there is no requirement for a judge to use the entire 30 point allocation.

Arisia is about to put on the “Editor Hat.” It's sort of like the “Sorting Hat” they use at Hogwarts (“Don't tell me there's no such thing as magic! I remember magic.”), but a little less sarcastic.

Arisia: Having pondered on these stories for almost two days, I am still having trouble figuring out how to allot my points. Both are potential candidates for the SSS (Stupefying Stories slushpile).

CTRL+ALT+DELDELDEL...∞

---

“The Blink of the Quantum Eye” by Jack Calverley

Arisia: Jack's story is the thought-provoking kind, written in a classic, British style reminiscent of 1984 and other "What are we doing to ourselves?" novels. It makes the reader take a hard look at society, ethics, and human motivation. There are enough bits of humor sprinkled in to keep us from ending up totally depressed. I found myself thinking of the Judge Dredd movie. That had similar unexpected and humorous consequences of life being suddenly different.

It seemed a little long for a short story. It could become a novella, or it could benefit from cutting some out. It could also benefit from more excitement. There was too much mundane and not enough adventure.

Jack Calverley: voted! / J.M. Perkins: 3
Arisia: 14
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 19

---

“Untitled” by J.M. Perkins

Arisia: John's story is more the emotion-provoking kind. The reader is pulled into feeling the characters' bewilderment, aloneness, powerlessness, and hopelessness. It is a study in experiencing loss. The ending is very good, and also unusual, in that it just accepts loss and lets go. Most SF stories are about triumphing over whatever is happening.

The attempts at explaining what was going on were distracting to me. They seemed a little far fetched or unrelated to believe. If you were trying to depict denial, then it was not quite clear enough.

Jack Calverley: 3 / J.M. Perkins: voted! / miko: (tilted!)
Arisia: 15
Participation bonus: 2
Total: 20


Wrap-up...

---

In a beautifully choreographed display of memory and loss, our challengers emerge as follows:

2nd Place: 19 points — “The Blink of the Quantum Eye” by Jack Calverley

1st Place: 20 points — “Untitled” by J.M. Perkins

Congratulations, J.M. Perkins! As winner, you are hereby invited to propose next week's challenge, scheduled to be announced the morning of Friday, 11 November 2011.


Afterword...

---

So what was the lesson of this challenge?

Arisia: In the end, I assigned points based on my reaction as a reader. I was more engaged in John's story. Slightly more. But both did a good job at creating a fascinatingly different universe and showing possible reactions to it.

Open Mic Saturday

Good morning all, and welcome to Open Mic Saturday. This is the place to share your news and perhaps do a little bragging. If you're writing a novel: how much progress did you make this week? If you're writing short stories: did you finish anything or submit anything this week? If you've sold or published anything recently, when is it coming out and where can we find it? In short, as a writer, what kind of progress did you make this week?

Or what else is on your mind, that you feel like sharing with the group here?

P.S. Who's doing NaNoWriMo? Do we want to use this place to do a roll call and weekly progress report?

The Friday Challenge — 11/04/2011

This week in The Friday Challenge:

The November issue of STUPEFYING STORIES is revealed, and then released! • Buy it at Amazon (MOBI) or Barnes & Noble (ePub) (Other stores coming soon!)

Bruce Bethke presents the first installment of our “Slushpile Survival Guide.” • Join the discussion...

Daniel Eness expresses admiration for flying monkeys and rubber-suited monsters. • Join the discussion...

Kersley Fitzgerald skips NaNoWriMo to make owls. • Join the discussion...

Realms of Fantasy closes its eyes, perchance to dream. • Join the discussion...

Jack Calverley wins The Third Annual (whaaaaaat??!) Halloween Story Challenge challenge, with the mother of all submissions. • Join the discussion...

All this and more, as M harvests his annual crop of pumpkin seeds, and the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum.





CTRL+ALT+DELDELDEL...∞

---

As of this morning, we have received the following entries for our current challenge:

• “The Blink of the Quantum Eye” by Jack Calverley
  
  
• “Untitled” by J.M. Perkins
  (Note: This one was posted in DOCX format. Normally we prefer DOC, RTF or TXT, since DOCX occasionally causes problems for some challengers.)
  

An enthusiastic “Huzzah” to all who have entered! The judges are considering your submissions, and a winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 6 November 2011.


Ambrosia Manna Gruel

---

And now it is time for this week's Friday Challenge, courtesy of Jack Calverley:

This week's challenge: to write a story where some aspect of the production, preparation, consumption or anything else of food plays a pivotal role in the plot. The story may be mythic, historic, futuristic, fantasy or anything else so long as it is not set in present day reality.

I suggest at least 500 words but no upper limit other than bearing in mind that if it is headed for the 5000 word mark, unless truly compelling, fewer people may read it and offer feedback and a score.

Anyone can enter, except for Jack Calverley. You may enter as many times as you wish, but each entry must be independent of the others, and you may not build on anyone else's work.

Everyone is asked to vote, and to say a few words about what they liked, and why. Or to say a few words about what they disliked, as the case may be; by submitting an entry, you implicitly agree to accept criticism, because there will probably be some handed out, and no one is immune. When voting, please rank a work as either “0” (not so good), “1” (not as bad), “2” (could have been better) or “3” (pretty good stuff!). If you give either a “0” or “3” vote, feel free to argue in support of your reasoning.

Don't like the negativity? Feel free to think of the levels as “0” (Not bad for a first attempt), “1” (Right on!), “2” (Holy cow, I wanna buy this now...) or “3” (Sweet mother of God, how did you write something this awesome?!!). The point is to clearly differentiate, and rank according to your own preference.

For the purposes of this challenge, Jack Calverley will be serving as Ye Olde High Marker, Voluntarily Walking th' Plank.

As of now, we are playing by the loosely enforced and slightly modified rules of The Friday Challenge. All entries are due by 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 11 November 2011. A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 13 November 2011.

Oh, there is one more thing... but it is the most important! Have fun. Always have fun.

Another one bites the dust...

Big, beautiful, award-winning magazine Realms of Fantasy announced yesterday that they're ending the show and striking the tents. Read all about it.

This, following the shutdown of Weird Tales last month, means either we've picked exactly the right time to launch STUPEFYING STORIES or else we're out of our frickin' gourds. I sure hope it's the former.

Deadline Reminder

The deadline for the current Friday Challenge — CTRL+ALT+DELDELDEL...∞ — is 6 AM Eastern time on the morning of Friday, 4 November 2011... less than twenty-four hours away.

Entries may be added to The Friday Challenge Yahoo Group (see the appropriate directory within the "Files" section), hosted on your personal blog(s) and linked within the comments for the challenge, or copied directly into the comments section as a post.

In previous challenges, we have accommodated late entries. This time, we have no such luxury; if you post an entry much later than 6 AM Eastern time, there is a chance the judges will not be able to properly consider your work. Should you anticipate a need to snowdog, please mentally back the deadline up as much as necessary. If the deadline hits and you are very, very close, please publicly announce your intention to enter.

A winner will be declared by the evening of Sunday, 6 November 2011.

Critical Thinking

Kersley Fitzgerald

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It is November in Colorado. Maj. Tom (USAF, Ret.) is another year older. The weather in Colorado can't decide if it's going to snow or be seventy degrees. Or both. And I, once again, inexplicably, have my craft on. This year, the theme is steampunk. So far it's three purses, two coatracks made out of plumbing connections, and an abstract owl.

What's different about this November is I am determined to skip NaNoWriMo. Too, too busy. In part, reading the amazing submissions that come in to Stupefying Stories. And, in another part, making owls out of discarded hardware. (I have no idea why. It seemed a good idea at the time.)

When our fearless leader posted his proposed line-up for this month, I blinked hard and thought to myself, "Another one? On time? What's gotten into us?" Then I took one look at the titles and declared it more bipolar than the Colorado weather. For every funny, often irreverent story, there's another quiet contemplation about life and what we're willing to do to protect it. When I brought this up, he was quick to point out that he had deliberately given a sampling from men and women. Looking at the stories again, I realized that of the stories I had read, the tone parted exactly down gender lines. Is the Mars/Venus thing true? Are our natures polar opposites? You'll have to decide after you read this month's edition.

I do know that Sarah Frost's "Borrowed Feathers" blew me away the first time I read it. The imagery was so clear that I could see everything the main character experienced. "The King of Ash and Bones," by Rebecca Roland, is similarly poignant. And it was obvious to me from reading "The Bamboo Garden" that Clare Deming knows little kids.

In the blue corner, Aaron Starr's "First Impressions" left me laughing out loud. And our own Henry Vogel's "Watch This!" made me homesick. I grew up with these guys! (Yes, Oregon has rednecks, too!)

For now, I leave you to November. To shortening days, turkey sandwiches, and long nights of plumping up that NaNo word count. But, as the Christmas holidays approach, I also leave you with one thought:

Wouldn't a year's worth of short stories make an excellent stocking stuffer?

IT'S ALIVE!

The November STUPEFYING STORIES hits the Kindle store.

Ultimate Geek Fu

The late 1800s/early 1900s gave birth to a number of science-fiction special effects that are worth noting.

Reverse Motion was used to frightening effect in the creation of Frankenstein's monster in 1910s Mary Shelley's Frankenstein. Contrary to the more popular conception of Universal's lightning-strike laboratory, in the original movie, the monster is a result of strange alchemy. The body self-constructs from a vat of dust through Viktor's arcane arts.

At around the 3 minute mark, the monster takes shape.

That same year, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz premiered.

Of note: although it was a silent film it was based on the 1902 stage musical of the same name, which was, of course, based on the Baum book. You may notice that the famous arm-in-arm "skipping" dance between Dorothy and her friends did not originate in the now more famous MGM musical from the 1930s, but in its silent predecessor (and, before that I would bet, in the earlier stage adaptation.)

I like two of the three special effects employed in this version: the flying witch and monkeys use stage rigging, but are done at such speed over a short space (and duration) that my eye falls for it better than the now elaborate flight scenes from films like Harry Potter.

The second one is the use of actors in costumes to portray live animals. In contrast to the flying bits, this is completely and obviously unbelievable to the eye, but, in terms of f/x being used to advance characters, it works. This now completely discarded art reached its height (or depth, depending on your aesthetic) with the "rubber suit monster movies" like Godzilla.

Even as a six-year-old in a dark matinee, I could tell that Godzilla was a dude stomping on a toy set, but also knew that I cared about the "fakey-looking" characters more than I would ever care about their latter-day, better designed, "more realistic" counterparts.

The third effect in Oz which was crummy, even for the primitive film standards before The War, was its stop-camera "disappearance" effect, so the less said about that, the better.

What's one (or two or three or eight) of your favorite sci-fi special effects, and how has its use changed (or not) over time?

More importantly, is that change a good thing, or bad?

Let the arguments begin.

The Slushpile Survival Guide

Welcome to the first installment in what promises to be a very long series. Eventually this feature will take up permanent residence on the STUPEFYING STORIES web site, when we find enough free time to develop that site, but for now, it works just as well here.

The object of this feature is to pass on some of the lessons we're learning as we slog through the vast and trackless midden that is the STUPEFYING STORIES slushpile. With luck, you might learn something here that you can apply immediately, to help your story rise above the common lithic debitage.

And so, without further ado...

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Today, I want to talk about file formats. Not manuscript format—although, while we don't insist on it, it certainly doesn't hurt to become familiar William Shunn's guide to Proper Manuscript Format. But today, let's concentrate on the actual electronic file that you will use to send your story to a publisher, assuming the publisher accepts electronic submissions.

As to which tool to use to write your story, the answer is, unfortunately, very simple: Microsoft Word, or something that produces Word-compatible files. Love it or hate it (and for me, personally, "hate" doesn't begin to describe how I feel about it), Word is the current de facto standard, and the most universally readable and editable file format is the Word .doc format—or as Microsoft now calls it, "Word 97-2003 Document" format.

Depending on which version of Word you use, you may need to use the "Save as" option on the File menu in order to save your file in this format, as more recent versions of Word default to the .docx format, which is somewhat problematic.

For a time, we thought Rich Text Format (.rtf) might be a better choice than .doc, as it's technically somewhat more portable, but that's turned out to be an illusion. Rich Text Format files do work very nicely when they arrive intact, but some bizarre interaction between certain email client programs and our email server makes that intact arrival uncertain. In particular, we've noticed that .rtf files sent from Hotmail accounts always—always—get turned into something that looks like this:

{\rtf1\adeflang1025\ansi\ansicpg1252\uc1\adeff0\deff0\stshfdbch0\stshfloch37\stshfhich37\stshfbi37\deflang1033\deflangfe1033\themelang1033\themelangfe0\themelangcs0{\fonttbl{\f0\fbidi \froman\fcharset0\fprq2{\*\panose 02020603050405020304}Times New Roman;}{\f34\fbidi \froman\fcharset0\fprq2{\*\panose 02040503050406030204}Cambria Math;} {\f37\fbidi \fswiss\fcharset0\fprq2{\*\panose 020f0502020204030204}Calibri;}{\f38\fbidi \fswiss\fcharset0\fprq2{\*\panose 020b0604030504040204}Tahoma;}{\flomajor\f31500\fbidi \froman\fcharset0\fprq2{\*\panose 02020603050405020304}Times New Roman;}

Remarkably, we can make sense of these files. But it's not fun.

Secondly, make sure you have a good anti-virus program installed on your working computer, and keep it up to date and run virus scans religiously. If you can, make certain you scan your .doc file before you send it. There is no kiss of death more instantly fatal to your submission than sending the publisher a file that is infected with a virus, or one of the old malignant Word macros that is still floating around out there. Yes, this has already happened to us. More than once.

Third—and I can't believe I actually have to say this—at the very least, make certain your name and email address are in the actual document file you send. Stories frequently get separated from the cover letters that accompany them, and sometimes cover letters get lost. If we lose your email address, we have no way to contact you regarding your submission, short of hoping we get lucky with a Google search on your name. But if we don't even have a name on the manuscript—and yes, I do have one pathetic orphaned manuscript sitting here that I would like to send back to its proper home, if only I knew who to send it back to...

Finally, we know that everyone has their own preferences and work habits, but it really helps to give your file a unique and descriptive name. Giving it the same name as the title of the story is a good start. Giving it some combination of your name and the key words from the story title is better; for example:

Scribbler-Night of the Iguanadon.doc

Giving your story file a name that clearly means something terribly clever to you but nothing at all to anyone else (e.g., badadoop.doc) is a mistake, but not the worst one. We actually have received stories in files named newstory.docx.

Conclusion: The slushpile is a fearsome and ugly place, filled with stories fighting tooth and claw to be noticed. STUPEFYING STORIES does not even rise to the level of being a second-tier market, and yet on average we receive six new submissions daily, seven days a week. In a typical month we can at best publish ten of those stories. Do the math.

But after you've done the math, don't despair. Because the truth is, most of what distinguishes the top 10-percent of submissions from the rest is just a matter of learning and applying some very simple things, and the more I dig through the slushpile, the more clearly I see just how simple these things are.

Okay, I've got to get back to shoveling now. Will write more next week,
~brb