Without further ado, then:
Vidad: It was really good to see an entry from Vidad again, even if it was a fairly brief one. As we've come to expect from Vidad, this is really good ad copy: all emotional appeal, without a single hint of logic or reason, and it's a really good emotional appeal at that. "The sky is no longer the limit." "Freedom has never been so uplifting." Great lines! Plus, the footnote concerning the sadly predictable legal limits of freedom just cements this as vintage Vidad. Excellent!
Miko: This is good, retro ad copy, reminding us of the kind of stuff we've read in 1950s car ads in National Geographic and heard in the early car commercials from that time. "Master the sky with the Buick Skymaster" is a brilliant line. Comparing the Dyna-Glide propulsion system to both a contented and hungry lion is truly inspired. Great stuff all around, Miko!
Waterboy: From beginning to end, we could picture this entire commercial. It's all image and no substance, just like our ads today, and really sells the idea of the Rocket Car. It also makes better use of Mazda's "Zoom zoom" bit than Mazda has made of it in many years; the only thing it's lacking is a quick flash of an RX-7 somewhere in the initial montage. "The Ride of the Valkyries" was a truly inspired choice of music, too, as long as no one makes the connection to Apocalypse Now. We're pretty sure we'd get goosebumps just watching this commercial; well, the first three or four dozen times, and only up to the point near the end where we see the cars in the showroom. It's a necessary part of the ad, just not as inspiring as the opening and seems more like something Toyota would do. But overall, we love it!
M: We were intrigued to see that two of the four entries went retro with this idea. We were even more intrigued to see that what Henry thought was a throwaway minor challenge inspired more than 5,000 words from you; and 5,000 really good words, too. While Henry doubts that he was ever quite as...staid...as Baily, he was reminded of his early days as a young adult, when he was driving a Volkswagen and wishing he owned a babe-magnet car. It sounds like Baily already has the babe, he just needed the right nudge to learn what was right.
Reading this story, we both got a distinctly 1940s-1950s vibe. As we suspect that's what you were aiming for, you clearly succeeded, but at the same time Bruce feels that this one would be a tough sell in the contemporary magazine market. Granted, it's purely a matter of taste and fashion, and no reflection on the quality of the story or writing, but it remains an obstacle. This one would have been a good fit in Would That It Were, a magazine that went for a distinctly retro style, but sadly, they've gone out of business.
Therefore, after further debate, and not an inconsiderable amount of hemming and hawing, not to mention a brief discussion of whether this situation warranted resorting to the Special Vidad Rule—
I'm going to invoke executive privilege and declare WaterBoy the winner, for submitting the most engaging entry that best meets the terms of the challenge. M, you submitted a truly remarkable story, and I think you've got a great deal of potential (and frankly, am a little surprised that you're not already publishing professionally), but the challenge this time was to write the advertising copy, not a story about the advertising copy, and in the end that's what split the difference. If I were editing a magazine I would be seriously considering buying this story for publication—but I'm not, so I can't. Sorry.
Ergo, WaterBoy is this week's winner, so come on down and claim your prize! And to all the rest of you, thanks for participating, and remember, we've got a double-header coming up on March 25, with deadlines for both the Greater Challenge, "A Strange Bot in a Strange Land," and the current Lesser Challenge, "Your 2050 Census Form.
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