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Thursday, March 22, 2012

Critical Thinking

Why I like John Carter

How big a dork am I? The first time I saw the preview, I misheard the name and couldn't figure out when they had filmed another Terminator movie. Or why in the world John Connor was riding dinosaur-Banthas. When I saw the preview, my reaction was one big "eh." Eventually, there was nothing else to see.

Maj Tom: Why don't you want to see it?
Me: I'm afraid it won't measure up.
Maj Tom: To what?
Me: You know, all my childhood favorites. My family's cult classics.
Maj Tom: Like what?
Me: Krull. BeastMaster. Red Sonja.
Maj Tom: * Yeah, you got some high standards, there.

Disney thinks the movie will lose $200,000,000. Entertainment Weekly gave it a D. (And that was Owen, not Lisa-who-hates-everything.) In the interest of objectivity, I haven't read Henry's review.

Whatever. It didn't suck. It was entertaining. I haven't read the Barsoom stories, but I've read the Moon series and that little bit was enough to get me oriented. Yeah, things were changed. The once (I'm assuming) helpless female was a professor-warrior. That's cool. The acting was better than in Red Sonja. And, really. When's the last time you saw a swords and sandals fantasy with a kick-butt heroine who got to wear a sports bra?! (Yes. The foundation garments gave it credibility to me.) In the end, the hero out-tricked the bad guys (AKA: Martian Illuminati) to return to his woman.

So, it didn't have spandex britches or firemares (or Liam Neeson), and it didn't have creepy bat creatures or ferret heroes, and it didn't have Brigitte Nielson's fine acting skills*, but I think it was worthy enough.

In other news (and I'm sorry this is so late, but I couldn't get Maj Tom to even watch it because he knew once he did it would be over forever) but did you catch the last episode of Chuck? I mean, I guess I get it in a literary sense. By having Sarah lose her memory, they got to do a little bit of a recap, especially with their relationship. I don't think it would have been my choice, though. Still, cool that Casey left to go find Trinity.

* I just got something. Does anyone watch Once Upon A Time? Is the evil queen/mayor trying to channel Queen Gedron and failing miserably?

Now that that's out of the way, how on earth am I going to get a babysitter this weekend so we can see The Hunger Games?
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