Geek and non-Geek at the Movies
"Hi! My name is Al*, I'm a geek, and I'm married to a non-Geek."
"Hi, Al!"
"We like to curl up with a movie on weekends..."
"Uh-oh," came a voice from the back.
"Yeah, we can see where this is going," came another.
"You know, I really thought she was up with the whole 'geek' thing...she watched the Matrix with me, and liked it. She loved the scene at the end of Fantastic Four where Reed Richards ended the science lesson. She even sat through Watchmen AND the whole Lord of the Rings Extended Editions with me without even yawning. But..."
"Go on."
"Yeah, let it out!"
"Well...um...last weekend...I asked her if she'd like to watch Speed Racer." Groans shot up from the crowd.
"Hope that doghouse is comfortable!"
"Hey! I liked the cartoon. The movie was a tribute to the cartoon, it really was. The movie was nowhere near as bad as...um..."
The moderator walked up to the podium. "You know what you need to do? Here." He handed over two folded scraps of paper.
"Bridges of Madison County? Sleepless in Seattle? There are like thirty movies on here!"
"Nope, just twenty five. Go through the whole list."
"Ice Castles? You've Got Mail? Elizabethtown?" He looked at the moderator with big, pitiable eyes. "Why don't you just shoot me now?"
"Open the other one," he said, without any sign of pity.
"Twenty five more, starting with Twilight and ending with Romancing the Stone."
"Yep. If you can manage to get through the whole first list, then you can get started on the second one. Once you've survived BOTH lists, you might actually be able to get away with suggesting some Indiana Jones, or maybe a Star Wars. But you're going to be watching Resident Evil and Punisher by yourself, in the dark, after everyone else is asleep.
"Oh, and next time, suggest pole-dancing for your beer buddies instead. You'll do less damage to your relationship, and hey, you might get lucky."
* Please note that this is a work of fiction, and any similarity to actual geeks, living, dead, or undead, is purely coincidental--especially because Lady Quill is almost as much of a geek as I am. Though...any suggestions on methods for manipulating the space-time continuum that would make up for the three hours of time lost actually watching Speed Racer, please, drop me a line. (Yes, three hours. Even the dog wouldn't sit still through it, and demanded to be taken out five times, having to pause the movie each time.)
Ultimate Geek Fu assignment for the week:
What geek movie is most likely to send your non-geek significant other (or worse, *potential* non-geek significant other!) running for the exit, suddenly remembering they left the oven on? What NON-geek movie would leave your standard geek wishing for bamboo shoots under the fingernails or a good Vogon poetry session instead? And finally, is there any one geek movie that fits the phrase "If you won't sit and watch this with me, then there isn't much point in this relationship going much further...?"
Let the arguments begin.
ULTIMAGE GEEK FU runs every Wednesday. Have a question that's just bugging the heck out of you about Star Wars, Star Trek, Stargate, Battlestar Gallactica, Farscape, Firefly, Fringe, Heroes, The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Smallville, The X-Files, X-Men, The Man From Atlantis, or pretty much any other SF-flavored media property? Send it to slushpile@thefridaychallenge.com with the subject line, "Geek Fu," and we'll stuff it in the queue.
Posts
