And the winner is...

Four challengers gave us six entries from which to choose our winner for Short Attention Span Theater. Without further ado, let's take a look at the entries:

M, "Better Off Ed"
Sally (aka Beth, aka Kersley):
I thought Better Off Ed would make a cool scene, but I didn't see a story in it.

~brb:
I can definitely see a young Bruce Willis in this role. Can we clone him or something? This would make a good pilot episode, but it would be a very expensive series to make, what with all the pyrotechnics and having to blow the living sh!t out of some new venue every week. Let's see, this week a hospital; so what's next week? A police station? A strip mall? A Starbucks? I think if every episode involved demolishing a Starbucks, you could have great repeat viewership.

Henry
This reminded me of a high class variant of a popular TV show in the movie Idiocracy called "Ow! My Balls!" which featured a guy being filmed kicking other guys in the groin. But can you really setup and the deliver a comedic, impressive explosion in only four minutes?

M, "Stink-Eye Nellie"
Sally (aka Beth, aka You Know Who I Mean):
Nelly Bleigh, on the other hand, would totally work as long as the card game was in the show.

~brb:
It's horrible, awful, and utterly wonderful. What you've written would make great book jacket copy. I have trouble envisioning how this story could be shortened to Hanna-Barbera cartoon length, but I'm sure if I watched a few more episodes of Scooby Doo, I'd understand. Also, I am utterly incapable of understanding the appeal of watching other people play poker on TV, but I know that the Texas Hold-Em shows draw large and loyal audiences. Focus the show on card playing -- make it sort of a mini Casino Royale -- and I think this bugger might work.

Henry:
After reading the description to this "show," I'd love to see you take a crack at some pulp fiction-style detective stories. You've just got a wonderful way with words that would lend itself beautifully to that genre. I'm picturing this as an eight minute adventure show, giving Nellie just enough time to get into and out of compromising positions. And, hey, what more can one ask for from their entertainment?

Ben-El, "Better Off Wed"
Sally:
Better off Wed sounds like the background for a show, but not the episode.

~brb:
A one-line throwaway joke. Sign Charlie Sheen to play the lead and you've got a hit on your hands.

Henry:
I agree with ~brb, this is a natural for Charlie Sheen. And this probably is a great setup for a four minute comedy show. Four minutes ought to be just enough time to show Pete learning yet another new lesson about life as a divorcee. But the challenge was to give us an episode, not a setting.

Ben-El, "Hawt Cuisine"
Sally:
Hawt Cuisine needs more than just a clever punch line.

~brb:
Never underestimate the selling power of sex. I could definitely see this one as a long-running daytime series. This one really fits the entire idea of fitting an entire romantic comedy in the space of an over-long commercial.

Henry:
It's got food! It's got sex! What happens when the Mix Master blends them together? Great setup, fun progression, and a pun to top it all off. I like this idea a lot. Now, how long before we can buy Hawt Cuisine: The Book of Hot Cooking and Hotter Sex! Yummy!

Avery, "Unequivocal"
Sally:
Unequivocal would make a great novel or series. I couldn't tell just how much would be put into an eight-minute episode.

~brb:
This is way, way too long to be the story for an 8-minute drama. This could, however, work as the story arc for an entire season. You watch a lot of BBC period dramas, don't you?

Henry:
I agree with ~brb on this one. It's got way too much stuff to cover to fit into eight minutes but it's got a heck of a lot of potential for a modern length series. Give this a steampunk setting and start writing the novel now. Seriously.

Miko, "My Favorite Venusian"
Sally:
My Favorite Venusian would work.

~brb:
Reminds me of this remora I met at WorldCon in Glasgow. The babe attached herself to me just long enough to get into a publisher's private party, and then, "Oh, look! There's Harlan Ellison!"

I don't know how this could be made into a series. Would we follow the guy, as he has a series of dismal bar encounters with different women every week, or the babe, as she suckers in a different guy each week -- or how about this: what if we see *both* of them every week, but he makes such an insignificant impression on her that *he* is the only one who remembers that they met last week? That could really make the title work.

Henry:
Wow, in four minutes we get a beginning, middle and end. Great setup and payoff, too. I don't have the con babe memory that ~brb has, I do have the cheerleader-who-got-me-to-write-all-her-COBOL-programs memory. When I finally got wise -- about halfway through the semester -- she found another sap and got the rest of her software written by him. Good times...

The Wrap Up
Sally:
My vote's for Stink-eye Nellie. I could see this being a cohesive story told in eight minutes.

~brb:
And so, after reading all of the entries, and all of the other readers' comments, and then rereading the original challenge: "Your challenge is to write the story for one of these short attention span TV episodes. You do not have to write the script, just the story. We're talking something that will make flash fiction look long-winded. As with any story, you must have a beginning, a middle, and an end."

I cast my vote for Miko, because "My Favorite Venusian" has an actual story that could be developed further, and is not simply a series of double entendres and punchlines.

Honorable mention to Avery for "Unequivocal," as think this would make a good story arc for a season-long plot, which could conceivable be told in 8-minute installments.

Henry:
After reading through the entries again while putting together this column, I narrowed my selections down to "Stink-Eye Nellie," "Hawt Cuisine," and "My Favorite Venusian." I seriously love Avery's setup for "Unequivocal" but, unlike ~brb, just can't quite see that playing out in eight minute installments. From the three finalists, I have to go with "My Favorite Venusian" by Miko. That give Miko's entry two votes to one for M's "Stink-Eye Nellie." So,Miko is this week's winner!

Miko, come on down and collect your prize from behind Door #3!