Bruce Bethke announces the utterly logical and yet still quite possibly insane outcome of five years of accumulated Friday Challenges: STUPEFYING STORIES. Is this a brilliant idea whose time has at last come or have we just plain gone nuts? Join the discussion...
Then, in a valiant attempt to make it all seem eminently sensible, Kersley Fitzgerald elaborates further on the concept and lays out submission criteria. Join the discussion...
Meanwhile...
Kersley Fitzgerald reviews three books for us; two fiction and one about getting inside the head of your kid. Join the discussion...
Henry Vogel ruminates about six years of coaching youth soccer, which no doubt gave him vital training for his promotion from Tabby Wrangler to Chief Feline Officer. But what will he do with all that spare time, now? Join the discussion...
Splattering Guts for Fun & Profit was preempted by a stampede of dinosaurs, some of whom spoke Latin but most of whom spoke Fortran. Very strange. However, this is not the time or place for that discussion.
Ultimate Geek Fu opens speculation for the setting of the next Star Trek TV series and Sean gives us our challenge for this week. Surprised, Sean? Join the discussion...
Also, Kersley Fitz shows what really motivates writers to write that first novel, the inmates discuss the view from their respective places in the asylum, Miko wins the Short Attention Span Friday Challenge, and Bruce finally gets off his duff and announces, in typically long-winded and roundabout way, the grand prize in the current Greater Challenge, "The Land Before ZIP Codes." All this and more, this week in, The Friday Challenge!
Now let's take a look at the entries for this week's challenges.
Invasion of the Ring-Stealing, Satellite-Snatching Mechanical Zombies From Outer Space!
As of the deadline, it looks like Miko wins by default, as we have received only the following entry:
Miko, "The Shocking Truth Behind the Strange Incidents in Space!"
If we've overlooked anyone or if you're still planning to snowdog in an entry this morning, let us know. But right now, it looks like Miko has an uncontested win.
So let's hope everyone who did not enter the lesser challenge didn't do so because they were too busy working on an entry for the greater challenge! Jumping over to that bin—ah, this is more like it...
The Land Before ZIP Codes
As of the deadline, we have the following entries vying for the coveted featured spot in the very first issue of STUPEFYING STORIES:
Miko, ""Speak Not of the Future""
Guy Stewart, "The Block Party Solution" (drop.io)
The Bandit, "Catachronism"
M, "----"(drop.io)
Much better.
Okay, you know how this works. Even if you haven't submitted an entry this week—even if you never submit an entry in any week—you're invited to read, comment on, and vote for your favorites. Don't be shy about leaving comments on the writers' sites, too. Writers thrive on knowing that someone out there is reading their words.
The winner of the lesser challenge, "Invasion of the Ring-Stealing, Satellite-Snatching Mechanical Zombies From Outer Space!," will be announced on Sunday, assuming someone else snowdogs in and such an announcement is needed. The winner for the greater challenge, "The Land Before ZIP Codes," will be announced once the judges have had ample time to review and discuss all the entries, which we expect will take about a week.
And now, for this week's Friday Challenge, which comes to us courtesy of Sean...
tlhutlh Daq Qapla'
Sometimes, you just want to go to a place where everybody knows your bat'hlet tournament record. In a certain city on the Klingon home world, on the blue-collar lower east side of town, that place is tlhutlh Daq Qapla': a friendly (by Klingon standards) little neighborhood tavern owned by m'aS, a former Krat' Maloo' Kensa player turned recovering bloodwineaholic. m'aS runs the place with the aid of his somewhat addled former coach and two waitresses; one who is his lust interest and the other who is just a wise-cracking jabwI'. It's a quiet place; a fun place; a gathering place for civil servants, barflys, the almost-weres and the coulda-beens—the sort of people we would call lovable losers, except that among Klingons, there are no losers.
Tonight is a special night, though. It's the series pilot, and in it, m'aS unveils his latest victory. He has, at great risk and expense, smuggled in a cargo pod taken from an ancient derelict freighter found on the fringes of Federation space. Within it there is an assortment, perfectly preserved by the deep cold of space, of the finest warrior's beverages ever made on old pre-Federation Earth: Budweiser. Coors. Even Rolling Rock. And then, as the patrons drink their way through the cargo container, they make an incredible discovery: far in the back, frozen solid, and yet somehow, incredibly, still alive, they find an astonishing source of ancient human wisdom! Yes, it's—
And that is your challenge for this week. Cliff was never a man to be at a loss for words, even if he had no clue what he was talking about. (Some say he was the great-great-great-grandfather of Harcourt Fenton Mudd.) Obviously, being thawed out and revived in an alien bar is something he would take fully in-stride. Your challenge is to write a Clavinism suitable for this time and place. (If you don't know what a Clavinism is, we'll explain it in the comments.)
As always, we're playing by the loosely enforced official rules of the Friday Challenge, and playing for whatever is behind Door #3. You have one week to come up with a Clavinism that trumps all others and reduces the Klingon Empire to quivering jelly, terrified by the awesome wisdom and intelligence they have unwittingly unleashed.
Have fun with this one.
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