Ruminations of an Old Goat

"Just how old are you?"

I got asked that question in the only psychology class I took in college. I don't recall what behavior we were discussing, but I used a recently watched Bugs Bunny cartoon as an example of that behavior. At the time, I was married and in my mid-twenties. The woman who asked me looked to be seven or eight years older than me and radiated disapproval at the idea of someone my age watching cartoons.

Given my interests, I have run into that sort of attitude through out my life. I read comic books, play role playing games, board games and video games, am a complete sucker for science fiction books with cool spaceships on the cover, still enjoy reading books for children and enjoyed kids' movies even before I had kids to take to the movies. I even buy books filled with fairy tales without telling the people at the bookstore that I'm a storyteller and need them for business.

So just how old am I? I'm old enough that I don't care about what's appropriate for someone my age; not that I cared a whole lot more even when I was much younger. Why? I'd say because I am generally more mature than those people who look askance at my "age inappropriate" interests.

Say what? More mature? Yes, more mature.

I'm sure we all remember when we were kids. Do you remember what you most wanted to be when you were a kid? You wanted to be older. If you were really young, you wanted to be old enough to go to school. When you were in school, you wanted to be old enough to get to stay up later. When you could stay up later, you wanted to be old enough to get a driver's license. Then when you got a driver's license, you wanted to be old enough to buy beer or vote. Then you wanted to be old enough to go away from home for college or to buy liquor or to get married or whatever. It didn't matter how old you were when you were a child or even a young adult, you always wanted to be older. And to drive home that you were getting older, you were very careful to put away or avoid anything that might make someone think you were younger than your actual age. At some point, though, you stop wanting to be older and start wishing you could be younger. By that time, you're officially an adult and should put aside childish things; including worrying about "acting your age."

In other words, worrying if people think you are acting your age means you are either still a child or never got over the childish worry that someone might view you as immature.

These unfortunate people have pigeon-holed all sorts of activities. A child who knows virtually everything there is to know about Spider-Man is acceptable. An adult had better channel that interest in trivia into sports statistics. A child can play any kind of game the child wishes. An adult may play chess, backgammon, poker or bridge.

A few months ago, I read a book titled Fantasy Freaks and Gaming Geeks. The author, Ethan Gilsdorf, had played D&D as a kid in school, been thrilled with the Lord of the Rings movies and had generally been "into" a bunch of geeky, supposedly age inappropriate stuff. He didn't seem to have a problem with his interests until he approached his 40th birthday. Then he began to worry that maybe he was too old for this stuff and that it was his interest in such kid stuff that might have kept him from developing a permanent relationship with a woman. In a journey that was fascinating to read, Ethan decided to thoroughly explore the world of the adult geek to see if it was "okay" to be such a person. When Ethan was telling us about the people he met or the activities he joined in on with those people, I really enjoyed the book. But there were periods when Ethan suddenly got all introspective and would dwell on whether these interests were truly acceptable for adults. During those periods, I really wanted someone to grab Ethan by the shoulders, shake him a bit and shout, "Grow up! Get over yourself! Fantasy and gaming aren't to blame for your social life! Your refusal to accept your interests as valid and your attempts to hide them to 'act your age' are the problem!"

As for me, even though I grew up a long time ago, I'll continue playing role playing games and board games and reading comic books and watching cartoons and reading books about cool spaceships and not worrying about whether I'm acting my age or not.

I grew up, but that doesn't mean I also got old.