Story-a-Day

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Princess's First Birthday

“Honey … what is all this?”

“It’s our daughter’s first birthday party decorations.”

“I thought we agreed on a princess theme.”

“Oh, we did. Hence the jewels and beads and bangles and such.”

“And the…uh, animal skins?”

“She’s a barbarian princess!”

“Ah. That also explains the assorted weaponry.”

“Indeed. The Chosen Babe must grow up well versed in the martial arts, for one day she will lead the tribe in defeating the orcish hordes that loom on the horizon.”

“Uh huh. I’m more worried about the hordes of small children running around with pointy objects and small chokeables.”

“Babe, please. I’m not an idiot. See? Foam.”

“Oh. And the beads are candy. The bangles?”

“Teething rings.”

“Nice.”

“Thank you.”

“Your wel—now wait just a minute! Barbarian princess is not a princess theme! I wanted pink silks and tiaras and tutus—”

“Sounds more like a ballerina theme, there, hon.”

“How does… okay, you have a point. But it’s still more princessy than the goat and chickens.”

“Kids love petting zoos!”

“I think we need a license for that.”

“No, only if we have a goose or more than three pigs. I checked.”

“I don’t want a petting zoo! I want pretty pretty princess!”

“Dear?”

“Yes?”

“When you stamp your foot and whine like that, you’re setting a bad example for our daughter.”

“Says the man drawing on the wall.”

“I’m drawing on butcher paper and you know it.”

“You’re drawing a dragon!”

“Dragons and princesses go hand in hand! Besides, pin the tail on the dragon is much more fun than a lame old donkey.”

“Okay, okay. All right. And at least the moon bounce is a castle.”

“Yeah. I figure we’ll lay siege to it at the end. All I have to do is flip off the generator and the whole thing comes crashing down.”

“Honey?”

“Yes?”

“Our daughter can’t lay siege to a castle.”

“Of course she can’t! She’s our figurehead and source of inspiration! We don’t want her going down like Joan of Arc.”

“No, I mean she can’t lay siege to a castle because she’s only one year old.”

“The siege is mostly for the older kids. I figure with the right rhetoric I can get them to roll it up tight and save half of the fifty dollar set up and take down fee.”

“Ooh, that’d be nice. It’ll make up for the pony.”

“Yeah, the po—what?! You got a pony?!”

“Er, yeah. Well, rented one, anyway.”

“Honey! I can't believe-- that’s so cool! Do you think they can attach a fake horn to it? I figure a barbarian princess would ride a unicorn.”

“Um, I’ll ask, but I—oh dear. Is that… is that the cake?”

“Huh? Oh, yes it is. Set it down right there, gents. Thanks.”

“It’s bigger than our wedding cake!”

“Big as a moon, you might, say, but it’s no moo—”

“Oh no. Tell me you didn’t.”

“…okay, yeah. Barbarian Star Princess.”

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Story-a-Day is an attempt to bring a small bit of humor and amusement to Mrs. ~brb and Audrey as they fight very serious illnesses. If you have a short, amusing story, please send it to kersley.fitz at yahoo dot com. If you'd prefer, you can drop it in the drop.io (password: challenge) and email me to let me know it's there.